Friday, May 30, 2008

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

The title of this post is simply a ploy to see if I can triple maybe even quadruple my traffic. I think it will work. However, as long as I have them as the title, I might as well say, What is up with those two? I'm sick of hearing about them. Who cares if they're are breaking up or if they're getting married.

Don't get me wrong, Brad Pitt is definitely someone I think is hot, but I think my chances of winning him over are slim to none.

Speaking of Definitely, why are people abbreviating that word now? Is it because they don't know how to spell it? Is it that they don't have time to say the whole thing? Or are they simply just trying to sound cool? Whatever it is, and I think my mother will agree with me on this, it must stop!

Why to we live in a world where pronouncing certain words wrong is accepted, and sometimes even encouraged. My mother and I were talking about this last week and we decided that people who say the following words must be eliminated from society or forced to repeat the 3rd grade, where these things were suppose to be learned.

Words : alls...all cannot be made more plural than it already is, acrosst... it's either crossed, or across...when you put the two together you have "crossed" the line. Tomorrow...of course this word is acceptable, but for goodness sakes people, learn how to spell it! So's...just don't say this (cough...dad...cough). Peeps...unless you are talking about the delicious marshmellow candy, than please...don't say it. There are two ways to spell the word your...however, they have different meanings. Your is possessive...meaning something that belongs to you (example : your room, your cat etc) You're is the words you and are combined meaning something about you or something "you are" going to do. So before you make a mistake and write the wrong one, think about what you are saying.

I don't know why this is so hard for some people, probably because they didn't graduate from college like me or maybe they just don't care. However, I'm telling you right now...CARE! Do it for people like me, someone who can't stand incorrect spelling and grammar.

Well that's all for now, but I'm just going to put down a few more things to increase traffic here at the bowling express


Mariah Carey

Indiana Jones

The Chronicles of Narnia

Sex and the City: The Movie

How to make money fast

New! Lose weight in your sleep...see how I used the word your in that sentence

Free Money

Okay, I'm done...my stat counter is currently at 738 visits...watch as it sky rockets!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Simply a formality

Today I spent 4 hours with my fellow graduates for 3 seconds of glory. During that time I did feel pretty special though...that is until I heard about the much greater accomplishments some of my fellow students acheived .

All kidding aside, attending my graduation ceremony was definately worth it. I enjoyed all eyes on me ( and like a thousand other people), I enjoyed getting my name called (although it was slightly butchered as usual...Muller, not Madelyn) and I enjoyed being congratulated by the President and faculty of SDSU.

I wasn't going to walk originally, but something made me change my mind. It wasn't everyone telling me I would regret not doing it, or my sister's yelling at me about how I needed to do it or else! I think what really did it, was the fact that it would be a cheap mother's day gift. JUST KIDDING!

However, I had already bought the cap and gown so I could get my pictures taken, so I guess I just figured why not?

The only thing I didn't like about it was... the crowd, the fact that I had to pee really bad for most of it, my back hurting, the headache I got, and my empty stomach...otherwise, it was a good time!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

I'm Not Pregnant

The title of this post might be a little schocking for some of you. So let me calm you down a bit. I have not been trying to conceive a child, at this point in my life that would be dumb. I haven't spent the last two weeks worried that I was pregnant. In fact, pregnancy for me right now, is an impossibility.

The purpose for this post is just to tell as many people as possible that I am not pregnant.

Why do I feel the need to tell people?

Well, for some reason, ever since I moved in with my sister I have been receiving interesting mail. Mail that someone in my unpregnant condition, should not be receiving. It started out as coupons, and notices for upcoming sales, but it is getting worse lately and my sister and her husband will not believe me.

You see, the mail I have been getting is for stores like Babys R Us and Bergstroms. I have never even been inside of a Bergstroms. More recently I have gotten a free diaper, diaper coupons, letters from Gerber, and worst of all....a free box of formula. I don't know if I'm the butt of some really weird practical joke or what? All I know is that I'm not pregnant and my sister and her husband don't believe me.

So, if you hear anything from my sister about me possibly being pregnant, disregard it, because it's not, nor has it ever been, true.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Resume

This post is for anyone willing to hire me on a whim. Here's the kind of work I'm looking for:

1.) Flexible hours...I only want to work about 20 per week.

2.) 6 figure salary...I want that 20 hours to make me buckets of money. (I'm guessing people that work 40 hours a week, probably only get about 20 hours of work done during that time. I am promising you a minimum of 15.)

3.) I need to be able to listen to music I like.

4.) I will only work for you if you have a bowling league. (trust me, I won't let you down {bowling wise that is})

5.) I will need the daily jumble, and some sort of caffeinated beverage provided for me everyday.

6.) I want to start at the top...I've done grunt work for eight years, I think I deserve to be at the top of the ladder already.

7.) I want paid vacations and a company car (preferably a BMW 325i...in a reddish orange)

8.) I'm looking for a job where I can express my creativity. You'll be amazed at what I can do.

9.) I like interacting with people...so long as they have a good sense of humor (and by good, I mean exactly like mine...which is more like best...but we can't expect too much from people.)

10.) I would like to work weekends, but have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday off...I don't really understand why people like the weekends off, everybody is everywhere on those days.

11.) Finally, I'm going to need a massage once a week, as well as a gym membership to the finest facility in town.

Now that everyone know what I am looking for, I'm sure I will get offers up the WaaaahhhZuuuueee. If you are interested, leave me a comment on this post with your companies name and phone number...if you seem interesting, I'll get back to you when I can.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Protect Your EYES!!!

I have a cold.

Why do they call it a cold?

I'm guessing because they used to think thats what caused it.

Maybe they should change the name to "Oh No!, I must have gotten a virus on my hand and then touched my eye!"

I guess that would be hard to put on a medicine box though.

How come they haven't found a cure yet? Is there anybody working on this??? I agree that cancer and AIDS are important, but nobody likes to have a cold. For such a "common" thing it sure does make you feel like you want to die. The only reason I have energy to type all this is because of a wonderful, wonderful, over the counter drug I bought.

Did you know?

Most of the illegal drugs such as cocaine and heroine were used by drug companies (eg; Bayer) at one point before they found out how addictive and terrible they were. In fact, after the civil war, a lot of veterans became addicted to Morphine, so in order to get them off of it, they started giving them what they thought to be a non-addictive drug with similar effects. The drug was heroine. Lets just say it didn't work out so well.

Anyway, I have a cold, it sucks a lot, and if you know somethings going around DO NOT TOUCH YOUR EYES. Contrary to popular belief...and this is just a little something I learned at a place called COLLEGE...it is harder for germs to attack when hey are passed through saliva. It is possible, but most likely they got in through your eye.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Ode to my Mother

Thank you mom for all the home cooked meals,

For picking me up from school...

Even though it was in an ugly hunk of metal with wheels.

Thanks for all the chocolate milk,

and the clown costume made out of silk.

Thank You for "helping" me with all that homework,

and for putting up with me when I was a jerk.

Thank you for having just one more kid,

Even though you found out about me the way you did.

I know being a mother can be a thankless job,

but in the end, you get poems like this that make you sob.

Happy Mothers Day!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Life after College

Well, it has officially been 2 whole days since I finished college. Surprisingly, I am not making millions, or even 6 figures yet. I am a little upset about this and was wondering if there was anyway to get my money back. I mean, if I were to buy an item at a store, and wasn't completely satisfied, all I would have to do is take back the item I was dissatisfied with in order to get a full refund. Does any one know if you can do that with a college degree?

I'm not trying to complain, but I feel as though I was promised a lucrative career in anything I so desired once I completed 4, or in my case 6, years of college. I suppose I should give it more time, but I'm more of an instant gratification kind of girl.

Had I spent the last 6 years completely focused on my bowling career, I think I'd be making pretty good money by now. Instead, however, I am currently 22,000 dollars in debt, and working at a job where the only real requirement is sucking up to people. Don't get me wrong, I'm a great suck up, but I'm kind of over it.

What do I do?

Friday, May 9, 2008

Does anyone need a wake up meow?

Every morning my brother-in-law leaves the house at a time in the morning most people never see intentionally. To be more exact it's about 5am, but don't hold me to that, it could be as early as 4. In fact I think when he leaves at 5 he's excited because he "gets to sleep in".

Well, when he leaves, my cat, who has been mentioned previously in one of my posts, gets out of the garage. He is allowed to go outside...in fact we encourage it during the day, but when he gets out before 5 AM we...or at least I, have a problem. . .

m - E - O - W ! M-E-E-E-E-O-W-W-WWW!!!

He meows* his little ass off until someone lets him in. Normally, I could just ignore him...but, he's so loud that he wakes the neighbors. My sister has talked to them about it and they aren't upset...just extremely annoyed. In fact, if I don't get up to let him in, some of them open THEIR garages so he'll shut-up.

So, if you're interested in a cat that can wake you up without fail every morning...even if you're on the third floor, I am starting the bidding at 100 dollars. Although, I would have to pay you in installments if that's ok...

Hmmmmmmm....maybe I could sell him to a farm, all I'd have to do his dress him up like a rooster.

* I would also like to mention that when he meows, it is as though he has never had a bite to eat, or that the world could very well be coming to an end. Another way to describe it would be a boy cat in heat (although he has been fixed).

Thursday, May 8, 2008

I am D-O-N-E, DONE!

No more teachers, no more books, no more (something), dirty looks!

Today I had what I thought was my second to last final. After that, I went to my next class for a review. Well, my Professor had the BEST news ever. She said if you are happy with your grade (which was posted on the chalk board), then you don't have to take the Final exam. After that all I heard was HALLELUJAH...over and over again (kind of like that one symphony, by that one composer)...I looked around and couldn't find the source of the noise, but that could have been because of all the bright lights and Angels that had suddenly appeared. Anyway, I checked my grade, and saw that no matter how well I did on the final it would not raise my grade. Therefore I am DONE with school for as long as I don't want to go back.

By the way, I know I didn't mention what that grade was, but don't panic Mom and Dad, it was a B.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Victory is mine

As some of you may know, I purchased a guitar about a month ago. I've wanted to learn for a long time, and I was fooling around with my toy guitar one night, when I decided to finally go for it. So, I went to a guitar store the following day and purchased an acoustic guitar by Yamaha. It was a kit, that also had a gig bag, tuner, picks, and some other guitar essentials. When I got home I couldn't wait to open it and start attempting to play. The first thing I did was pop in the instructional DVD that was also included. They told me, before I could begin learning chords I would have to tune it. So I spent about an hour doing that. The tuner was pretty terrible, and so was the guitar. However, I still tried to play it. I wasn't sure if the guitar was terrible, or if it was just because I had never really played before. Due to my frustration, I didn't try to play much over the next week.

My lack of intersest made me even more upset and frustrated because I had paid a decent amount of money for something I wasn't even using. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted to play, I just didn't like the guitar I bought.

Then one night I decided it must be the guitar that sucks. So the next day I took it back and traded it in for the guitar I have now. It is so much better (extra emphasis on "so"). Plus, its an acoustic-electric which I feel is self explanitory, therefore I will not explain.

The kit for the new guitar came with an amp, a much more sturdy gig bag, picks, and a bunch of other stuff. After I tuned it using the built in tuner, I attempted to play a chord. Guess What? It actually sounded like a chord.

After I finally felt good about my guitar purchase I decided I needed lessons. However, I didn't have money for them.

What was I to do?

Well I called up a friend of mine who has been playing for years and asked him if he wanted to hang out. He said "sure, what do you want to do?" AND I responded with "hmmm...I don't know...I guess you could teach me how to play the guitar I just got."

Okay, so that wasn't the actual dialogue, but you get the idea. He actually already knew I had bought a guitar so I just asked him if he would teach me. Ever since, I've made an effort to try and hang out about once a week. In fact I usually can't wait until I have a whole day off to go down and LEARN, LEARN, LEARN! He's a great teacher, and I like to think I've come a long way in the last month. He's taught me all the basic chords, different scales, strumming patterns, as well as how to read guitar tablature*.

Now, just to be clear, I don't practice everyday or anything, but I try to practice at least 2 or 3 times a week. It's a lot easier to practice when I'm hanging out at his place, because he's playing too and it motivates me to try harder. (He's really good...not Santana good, but good.)

Okay, now that you have a little background on the situation, I will explain the title of this post ("Victory is Mine" in case you forgot, or are too lazy to look up). Today, I FINALLY ( Finally is written in all caps to put more emphasis on the word) switched from one chord (G to be more specific) to another (G2), WITHOUT (and this is key) any pause in my strumming pattern. You might be thinking "SO WHAT?" , and if you are...WELL YOU TRY PLAYING DAMNIT, IT'S NOT THAT EASY. (In this case, capital letters are used to imply talking loudly in an angry voice....some may call it yelling)

I think the best comparison I can make to switching chords without pausing is to that of wearing Heely's. It looks easy when you're watching someone else do it, and you can say things like "that's easy". But unless you've actually tried to play guitar, OR wear Heely's you don't know what you are talking about at all. I think a few friends with my shoe size could vouch for me there.

So that is my victory. You may congratulate me.

*tablature - a form of musical notation indicating fingering rather than pitch of notes, written on lines corresponding to, for example, the srings on a guitar, or the holes on a flute.