( AAAaaaaaaa) The beginning of something great

Last Day

2011-11-30T10:27:00.000-08:00

Kris - "So what's the deal with Hell anyway?"

Arlen - "I've seen Hell, and it's name is Reno, Nevada."

A quote from the movie "The Answer Man".

I first saw this movie about a year and a half ago. I was living in Reno, Nevada at the time. It caught me off guard when I first heard it. Then, I replayed it and laughed hysterically before ultimately realizing it was the truth.

I recommend watching "The Answer Man". It stars Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls, Parenthood) and Jeff Daniels. It's currently available on Netflix to watch instantly. IMDB rated it at 6.5 stars. Netflix at 2.5. I think it deserves an 8 and a 3.5 personally . . . and that's just based on that one line I mentioned above.

Other movies I highly recommend that also didn't do well on the star charts:

1.)The Timer

2.) Lovely Still

Other than that, this will be my last post until the next time I post. Could be tomorrow, Could be November 1st, 2012. I hope you've fallen in love with both me, and my blog. You can still access this page by going to my profile on Facebook and looking under my websites. However, if you haven't bookmarked me on your personal computer, work computer, AND your smart phone, I consider it a personal failure. You can still bookmark me today, if this idea has never occurred to you until now. I personally abbreviate it to BE which is short for both "Best Ever" and "Bowling Express".

2011-11-29T12:33:00.000-08:00

It's been a full day today.

I've already -

1.) Dropped off my sister-in-law at work.

2.) Gone to the mall.

3.) Eaten a mall pretzel.

4.) Gotten my hair cut.

5.) Gone to the bank.

6.) Gone to Target.

7.) And now I'm done with this post.

Where does the productivity end . . . I mean, it's only 2:30.

The Benefits of Exercise

2011-11-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

If you are a person that doesn't exercise, I'm here to tell you that exercising on a daily basis pays off.

Literally.

Sure there's the fitness aspect of exercising . . . staying trim, being healthy, feeling great.

But I recently found out the benefits can be much, much greater than that.

Yesterday on my run I found this:

Sure, it's a little dirty . . . and when I found it, it was completely soaked with rain water, but it's still perfectly good, US, Legal Tender.

And to think, I almost didn't go for a run yesterday.

Ellen DeGenerous found this photo

2011-11-27T09:50:00.000-08:00

I would like to apologize for the video I put on yesterdays post. I watched it without the sound on and just assumed it was PG. I would never put something like that on my blog. It was disgusting. I'm sorry.

Other than that, I would like to share a picture of what I think the blogging unicorn would look like if he were a man.

Syar (pronounced Shar), I think I've found your dream man.

There will be an apology for this photo in tomorrows post.

If you don't know what/ who the blogging unicorn is . . . well then I guess you have some research to do.

And Not The Flavored Kind Either . . .

2011-11-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

Most of you know it, some of you think it, but the fact is, I am, and always have been -

A candy expert.

Knowing this, you can now trust that my top five favorite candies, are indeed, the absolute best. You can also use this as the go-to list you refer to, when you're inevitably out and about, buying me candy.

5.) Zours - this candy is not very well known. In fact, I'm not even sure if they have them in Illinois. They are, however, the most delicious sour candy I have come across thus far. This includes the ever popular Sour Patch Kids. Don't get me wrong, I like Sour Patch Kids, but if it were between the two I'd pick the Zours every time.

4.) Cadbury mini eggs - not the big ones with the cream filling. Although, those are also delicious. I'm talking about the balls of milk chocolate with a hard candy shell. I think they are highly under rated because they look a bit like malt balls, (which, coincidentally, take the number 1 spot on my Top 5 worst candy of all time list) but don't let that fool you. They are amazing.

3.) Reeses Peanut Butter Cups - I like chocolate, I love Peanut butter, so it stands to reason that I would like them together. Not to mention they had the best commercials when I was little. I'm sure everyone reading this post, has tried to make a hole in the center of their Reeses Peanut Butter Cup . . . in fact I'm pretty sure, that everyone has purchased a package of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups just so they could try to make a hole in the middle. I personally failed every time.

2.) Skittles - It was tough trying to decide between Starburst and Skittles for this list. I love them both, but when it comes right down to it, I love Skittles more. I love the smell when someone else is eating them, I love the color when they're in a big bowl, but most of all, I love eating several at one time. Have you ever smelled an empty Skittles package? Why hasn't this been made into a cologne, or a perfume yet?

And now, for my number one favorite candy of ALL time! . . .

. . .

. . . .

. . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . . . . [Cue the trumpets]

. . . . . .

. . . . .

. . . .

. . .

. .

1.) RED VINES - There's nothing like having a big tub of Red Vines sitting in your house. Anybody that prefers Twizzlers over Red Vines needs to get their taste buds checked, because I'm pretty sure Twizzlers are made of wax . . . and not the flavored kind either. Red Vines are not only delicious on their own, but they can also double as a straw! I'm not a huge fan of doing this, but any candy that can multitask deserves a medal. A medal made of Gold . . . with a diamond rim. (I bet you thought I was going to say a medal made of Candy, didn't you? Well that would be dumb. A candy shouldn't get a fake medal made of some other kind of candy, it should get a medal made of the most precious medal on earth, because it's the most precious candy on earth.)

I'm Full

2011-11-25T10:50:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Highlights

1.) I had Mac and Cheese as a side dish for the first time on Thanksgiving. It was amazingly good.

2.) I tried Tofurkey. It was in sausage form. It was pretty good . . . it mostly just tasted like stuffing with a meaty kind of texture to it.

3.) All of the food was very good.

4.) I peeled . . .and basically made the mashed potatoes. I didn't boil the water or put them in the oven afterwards, but I'm mostly responsible for their deliciousness.

5.) I watched Limitless for the second time. It left me wanting a magical pill that would make me 10 times smarter, which in turn, would make these posts a million times better.

I hope everyone else had a great Thanksgiving as well.

I'm Welcome

2011-11-24T09:26:00.000-08:00

Top Ten Things For Which I am Thankful:

10.) That I no longer live in Reno, Nevada (sorry guys, no offense)

9.) Having a job.

8.) RedBull/ Coffee - let's just say caffeine in general.

7.) Pie

6.) My new BFF (oh no, I just called you out to see if you're reading this.)

5.) Other friends

4.) Working arms and legs and ears and nose and eyes and mouth.

3.) My iPad

2.) Family - old and new (you were a close second to my number one thing, I swear)

1.) Ty Burrell making this years sexiest man alive list. He should've beat Bradley Cooper for the number 1 spot though.

Sorry, I tried rotating this, but i guess it didn't stick.

And now, it's time to blow your minds.

High Hopes

2011-11-23T10:37:00.000-08:00

If the world turns out the way I want it to . . .

Begin Scene

Server - Good morning, my name is Bee Sting*, and I'll be taking care of you today.

Me - Good morning.

Server - Can I get you started with something to drink? Coffee? RedBull?

Me - I'm actually ready to order everything if that's okay?

Server - Sounds good, what can I get for you?

Me - Well, I will have that RedBull, sugar free if you have it . . . and for breakfast [tapping fingers on chin while reading order from the menu] I would like the tub of Red Vines [pause, then decide to order more] . . . with a side of Reeses Peanut butter cups please.

Server - Excellent choice ma'am.

End Scene

* Remember, this is the future, the names are going to be . . . different.

Dear Santa

2011-11-22T10:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I know you're a busy man, especially this time of year, so I'll try to keep this brief.

I would've written you a letter and mailed it, but I know you are one of the few people who keeps up with my blog, plus, I don't really trust the Post Office.

This year for Christmas, I would really like a 2011 . . . maybe 2012 Toyota Prius. I crashed my car in May and have been saving for one, but no matter how much I save, it will take years until I can actually afford it.

As you know, I'm not big on smiling, but I took the liberty of drawing, what hopefully, is a prediction of the near future. As you can see, my smile is quite apparent.

I know you live in Naperville in the off season . . . because I've seen you driving around in your red Toyota Corolla. I wouldn't even mind if you dropped it off the day after Christmas . . . Hey, I'm flexible. I would prefer if it were white, but silver or blue would be fine too . . . even black would be okay . . . but not red (no offense).

Thank you for hearing me out. I think if you check my files you'll see that I've been more than good this year, I've been GREAT. If the records show otherwise make sure you're looking at MADELYN S MULLER. There are a lot of new Madelyn's in this world as of late, because my name is making a comeback. I wouldn't want to miss out on a new Prius because there was a paperwork error.

Sincerely,

Madelyn

Birds eating Icecream

2011-11-21T10:42:00.000-08:00

Pine trees are like frozen icebergs making sandwiches for their children.

Bumble bees ride waves all the way to Oklahoma on a hot winter day.

Pencils make great broomsticks during snow storms after lunch.

Bath tubs walk sullenly through the meadows on a bridge while screaming profanities at their mothers.

Lamp posts are dangerous in certain parts of the living room.

Blankets fly like monkeys with no shirts on during a long meeting.

******Yes, this is what my blog has become after 21 days of straight posting. But making no sense is harder than it seems.**********

Bread Crumbs Get Everywhere

2011-11-20T08:35:00.000-08:00

Favorite Foods

1.) Peanut butter and GRAPE Jelly on multigrain bread. - Some people think you should cut these in half, but if you do you are making a huge mistake. The best part is the center. Trust me, and try it.

2.) Veggie Delite from Subway - Preferably on Flatbread with Pepper Jack cheese, toasted, with spinach, tomatoes, green peppers, cucumbers, black olives and ranch. It tastes like a vegetarian pizza. I enjoyed these even before I became a vegetarian. Aside from this one sandwich, I think Subway sucks.

3.) Cinnamon toast - buttered multigrain bread (make sure there's salt in that butter) covered with cinnamon sugar. Best toast on earth.

4.) Morningstar buffalo wings - You'd never be able to tell these weren't real meat. Especially when you slather them in ranch.

5.) Silver Peak Nachos with no chicken - Silver Peak is a restaurant in Nevada. Maybe there are some in other states, but there isn't one here. I really miss their nachos. I'm sure they're good with chicken too, but I've just never tried them that way.

6.) Pizza - All the styles, I don't discriminate.

7.) My Moms homemade macaroni and cheese - I feel sorry for kids that grew up on Kraft. However, I do like Kraft macaroni and cheese as well.

8.) Meatloaf - What, I can't have a favorite meat dish? I used to love the stuff, and if I ever went back, it would be the first thing I'd eat.

If I haven't made you hungry, something is probably wrong with you.

PG-13

2011-11-19T08:36:00.001-08:00

I'm tired of being modest about it. I work really hard, and everyone needs to know.

I have an amazing body.

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. . .

. . . .

. . .

. .

Special shout out to my friend T.R. for getting me this awesome Superman cozy, along with several other really awesome things.

P.A.

2011-11-18T08:44:00.000-08:00

I want to post these all over the lobby and stairwells in my apartment complex. How long do you think it will take for them to get torn down?

Flare

2011-11-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

My top 5 favorite smells.

1. WD40 - I don't know why, but ever since the first time I smelled it, I only wanted to smell it more.

2. Cigarette-smoke soaked clothes - My Grandma smoked, and anytime we would get a package, it would smell like this . . . but with a blend of her perfume.

3. RedBull - it's just a good smell.

4. Coffee - Most people like this smell. I'm no different.

5. New technology - there's nothing like taking a brand new iPad, phone, television, stereo . . . you name it, out of the box.

Mmmmmm.

Just Flip 'em the Birds

2011-11-16T10:46:00.000-08:00

I found everyone's new favorite candy!

At 120 calories per serving, the Angry Birds come with cherry, lemon, raspberry, apple, grape and strawberry flavors. Flavors that just happen to be both natural AND artificial (mmm . . . artificial, my favorite!), are made with real fruit juice, and, get this, they are fat free!

FAT FREE?!? No other candy has ever been fat free!

Each box contains 2.5 servings.

The best part about this candy though, . . . you get to collect ALL four! That's right, there are four different kinds of boxes. Each of them features a different bird, but the candy inside remains the same.

But enough about the boxes. How do they taste?

All I can say is, don't get your hopes up.

Dinosaurs

2011-11-15T09:48:00.000-08:00

As we hit day 15 of NaBloPoMo it's becoming obvious that my life doesn't consist of much. Luckily, I've been aware of this for quite some time, so no harm done.

That being said, I've come up with a game called "Guess that TV show character, from really old television shows I used to watch". I'm still working on the title. I want to find room for ". . . that used to be on Nick at Nite, but now Nick at Nite plays shows that were currently on when I was a kid, and that makes me feel old"(remember, you have to say these game titles with a game-show-host tone of voice), but I'm still looking for the right wording.

So here's how it works: I'm going to give you a character description I found online (yes, very little effort is going into this) and you are going to try and guess the character. I want the characters name, not the actors name, and the name of the tv show that I'm talking about. There will be several clues within the description, and if you know me at all, this should be easy.

There is a prize for the first one who gets all of them right! (I know some of you may think "she keeps talking about prizes, but I still haven't gotten mine yet", but I assure you, there are prizes).

Okay, here we go . . .

1.) I'm a hyperactive, manipulative producer of Dick's TV show who eventually marries Stephanie and has a daughter. Exceptionally shallow and superficial, my wife and I represent the quintessence of the 1980s "yuppie" couple. The dry erase board in my apartment always lists "Take Over CBS" (the network which originally aired the series) among my ever-changing daily tasks. I often speaks in an annoyingly alliterative manner. Who am I?

2.) I am best know for my wise cracks, put downs, and brazen remarks. However, despite my sharp criticism of my daughter and my roommates, I love and care for them deeply. The girls often seek me out for advice, and every situation they encounter leads me to reminisce about my life in Sicily. I've had affairs with several famous historical figures, including Pablo Picasso, Winston Churchill and Sigmund Freud. Who am I?

3.) I am a former thief, who was lucky enough to happen upon a Private Detective agency with an owner that doesn't seem to exist. Although I'd never tell you my real name, I'm sure you've heard me called this one. Who am I?

4.) I'm originally from England, but after emigrating to the United States, I began working for a middle class family in Pennsylvania. I often make subtle remarks that are geared to be advice the recipient has to figure out on his own. I often write the events of the day in my journal, right before I go to bed. Who am I?

5.) I am a World War II Veteran who served in the Seventh Fleet. I am sort of a Father figure to a young man who I love like a son, but can also frustrate me deep in my core. My surname is Grumby, but most people just refer to me by my nickname. Who am I?

Hopefully this isn't too easy. Good Luck!

Side note: I drew this picture of a dinosaur on my iPad today.

Sorry he has no legs.

Soul Mates

2011-11-14T10:33:00.000-08:00

Today I'm going to make a birthday card. I don't know if you know this about me, but my birthday cards are kind of a big deal.

I've always made birthday cards rather than buy them, for two reasons:

1.) I'm cheap

2.) It's very hard to find a card that says exactly want you want it to say.

Up until July 2011, my birthday cards were pretty good. I would use construction paper, draw something funny, and use an inside joke to really make it meaningful.

But then I found The Paper Source.

It was like meeting my soul mate . . . although I really don't know what that's like, but I'm sure it will feel the same way it felt when I first entered this store.

Magical.

Four months later our relationship is going strong. It makes me a better person . . . but more than that, it makes me a better crafter.

There is a downside to making birthday cards though.

Time.

These cards take me hours. But when you're in crafting mode, you don't even notice. I'm pretty sure its comprable to how a surgeon must feel while performing surgeries.

Here are a few examples of my work.

I made this one for a friend of mine who likes Jelly Fish.

This is the outside.

This is the inside.

Can you tell who I made this one for?

Side note: 13 years ago today my grandmother died. Rest in Peace Grandma.

Gaggle

2011-11-13T09:42:00.000-08:00

My favorite words.

Gaggle - a flock of geese./ A disorderly or noisy group of people. - Something about this word just appeals to me. I also deal with gaggle's of people almost everyday.

Rigmarole - confused or meaningless talk. - My love for this word is based purely on my sisters hate for it.

Don't say my blog never taught you anything.

Something Else in My "Room"

2011-11-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

The year was 2007. I was living in San Diego and hitting the lanes almost every day. At this time I was determined to become a professional bowler.

The bowling center I frequented had this sign up. It said something about buying old bowling pins for ten dollars. Twelve bowling pins to be exact. FOR ONLY TEN DOLLARS!?!

After a few days of hesitation I broke down and bought some. I wanted to make a really cool sculpture with them . . . or maybe just put them at the end of my hallway to get some practice in at home.

When I got them home, I opened the box with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning.

This feeling was quickly dashed when I saw them. They were pretty beat up. I now understood why they were only ten dollars.

Still, they were bowling pins, and I LOVE bowling.

My first thought was to try and clean them. So I tried using bleach (mixed with hot water). No luck.

If bleach wasn't going to work, nothing would!

After 10 minutes and 28 seconds of pure panic meltdown, it hit me. I'LL PAINT THEM!

At this point it may be important to know that I was currently unemployed. I had a lot of time on my hands. (School must have been out . . . I can't remember every detail).

So I bought some paint. ( Student loans were fooling me into a false sense of financial stability).

I painted for days, weeks maybe. I put what seemed like a thousand coats on every pin.

But when I was done, the results were magnificent.

At some point I attempted to make a sculpture out of them using Gorilla Glue. Buuuuuut, it didn't exactly work out.

When I moved out of the apartment I painted them in, I decided that if the sculpture wasn't going to work out, I didn't need all of them. It was too much weight to haul around to every future apartment I would ever live in. So I threw out ten and kept two. I gave the other one to a friend of mine, and so now, I only have one.

Explosion

2011-11-11T11:26:00.000-08:00

Today I went to my favorite store to date. The Paper Source.

There, I found a notepad that is the very definition of everything I write down.

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. .

. . .

. . . .

. . .

. .

.

That being said, it's 11-11-11 today. I already made my 11:11 am wish. Now I just need to think of a wish for 11:11 pm.

Gluestick

2011-11-10T10:14:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to K.R.M., aka my Mother, who apparently, still knows when I'm lying. Expect your prize in 3 to 6 months.

I'm currently having what they call writers block. My teacher at Second City says there's no such thing as writers block, because when you feel like you have nothing to write about, you should just write anything, even if it's a series of non-sensicle words. Words like non-sensicle.

I guess he's right. I mean, I'm writing right now, aren't I? Sure it's not about one thing. There's no direction this is going in, but words are still being typed, and you are still reading them.

I guess I just can't come up with an idea. A focus. But hey, it's day ten of NaBloPoMo, and not all of these posts are going to be brilliant.

Although, I'd say somewhere around 99% of them will be.

Oh well. If my lame post is bringing you down today, here's something that always makes me feel better.

3 Truths and a lie

2011-11-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to my Aunt L! She was the first to get all five of the riddles right!

In case you're too lazy to click on the comments section from my previous post, here are the correct answers.

1.) Eye 2.) Time (Although I can totally see internet working, A.S. . That was my first guess, before I looked at the answer, as well) 3.) Footsteps 4.) Yesterday, today, tomorrow 5.) A lighthouse

And now for todays contest! (I have a drawer full of prizes just waiting to be packaged and shipped!*)

I am going to tell you four things that happened to me recently. Three of them are true, and one of them is a lie. First one right gets a prize.

1.) In my writing class** we are suppose to keep a journal. So I came across a blank book I bought at The Paper Source and re-covered the front of it with Dinosaur paper. It's most likely the envy of all my classmates.

2.) My sister-in-law is currently teaching me how to sew. I want to make the best T-shirts*** my family has ever seen for Christmas this year.

3.) I am currently reading a series of books on my iPad, even though the hard copies are available to me.

4.) While buying a pie at the grocery store the other day, I had a nice conversation with the Russian**** checkout lady.

As you can see my life is full of non-stop excitement.

Unfortunately, due to the circumstances, I'm going to have to forbid Jon and Cadiz from guessing.

Good luck to the rest of you. Don't forget to sign your initials if your comments are anonymous.

*Don't worry, this prize drawer is about as impressive as the toy box they have at the Dentists office. (Those still exist, right?)

**I'm taking a writing class at The Second City.

***Every year for Christmas, I make my siblings and their spouses an awesome T-Shirt. So far this has just consisted of me buying 6 Hanes white T-Shirts and drawing on them with a permanent marker.

****Okay, so I'm only 95% sure she was Russian . . . my knowledge of Russian accents is based purely on watching the cartoon movie, An American Tail.

And now . . . just to make this post a little more awesome . . . Ladies and Gentlemen . . . For your viewing pleasure . . . Here's a picture of me . . . when I was a BABY! (Insert crowd going wild, here)

Riddle me this

2011-11-08T09:43:00.001-08:00

Time for another interactive post. This one consists of 5 riddles I found online. First one to answer them all correctly gets a prize. This means if you comment anonymously, you have to end the comment with your initials so I know who you are. If your'e my mom or dad, you can sign it as such, or you can put your initials.

NO CHEATING!

1.) I am said by one letter. I am spelled with three. 2 Letters in me. I'm double or single, or brown, blue, or green. I'm read from both ends, and the same the other way. What am I?

2.) For some I go fast, for some I go slow. To most people I'm an obsession, relying on me is a well practiced lesson. What am I?

3.) The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?

4.) Can you name 3 consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday?

5.) What type of house weighs the least?

Good luck!

Caffeine

2011-11-07T09:30:00.000-08:00

New coffee maker - 17 dollars

Dunkin' Donuts coffee - 8 dollars

Easy access to large quantities of caffeine when ever I desire them - Priceless.

Can't Sleep

2011-11-06T04:32:00.000-08:00

I went to bed at about 1 am.

I woke up at 3:30 am, and got a drink of water.

I couldn't get back to sleep, so I surfed the internet for a while. (Did you know Andy Rooney died?)

Then I tried to go back to sleep again.

Still no luck.

So, I read two chapters of a book I've been reading.

When I was sure I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, I put down the book and tried to sleep again.

I'm still awake.

It's 6:37 am.

I don't want to blame the RedBull, the cup of coffee, or the Excedrine Migraine I had yesterday . . . but it may be a contributing factor.

At least my post is done for the day.

************************************

It is now several hours later. 1:13 pm to be exact. I was finally able to fall asleep and didn't wake up until 11, only to realize that today is daylight savings and it was actually only 10 o'clock. Hoorah!

Now, for your viewing pleasure, a cute picture of a stuffed turtle I saw at the grocery store today.

Enjoy.

Something in My "Room"

2011-11-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

Some people have bobble heads of famous sports players.

Some people have bobble heads of animals, or Santa Clause.

I have a bobble head of Steve Carell. Well, technically Maxwell Smart in the movie remake of "Get Smart".

I would like to add to my collection though. I'm thinking something in a Phil Dunphy please. Who can make that happen?

BIg News

2011-11-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

Guess who is officially certified to serve alcohol in the city of Naperville?

That's right . . . This girl!
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How amazing is this going to look on my resume?

Gross

2011-11-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

What's the last thing you want to find when you're folding your laundry?

Any guesses? . . .

Any guesses at all?

I'll give you a clue. It's an article of clothing . . . but it's not yours . . .

. . .

. .

.

That's right, someone else's sock*.

* I don't have a washer and dryer in the apartment I live in, so I do my laundry in the buildings laundry room. That sock could belong to anybody . . . although now it belongs to the garbage. I guess that's how socks go missing.

Who said it?

2011-11-02T10:49:00.000-07:00

Let's play a game of "Who said it?"

I will give you one clue: It was said on a famous tv sitcom.

That should narrow it down a bit.

Here we go . . .

"You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants, but whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always puts a towel around his waist. . . . I mean, what is that about?"

On that note, what the hell is this about?

Jon and Cadiz, you are not allowed to guess. Everyone else - Good Luck!

Mustache

2011-11-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

November is all about two things in my book:

1.) Blogging

2.) Growing a mustache.

The first one is a matter of will power and determination. It requires sacrifice, hard work, and most importantly, the motivation to keep going when you think you have nothing left.

The second one . . . well . . . it's a little bit more simple.

Welcome to November everyone.

Jobs

2011-10-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

In honor of the late and great Steve Jobs, I am writing this post on my iPad. Yes, I have an iPad. I've sort of been keeping it on the down low to avoid envy and hatred from my friends and loved ones. Was it a necessary purchase? No. Do I regret it? I'll let you know in 2 years when I'm still paying for it and 2 newer versions are available.

But this post isn't about my iPad. It's not about anything really. I just needed to get my creative juices flowing, I guess.

September 17th has come and gone, and it's been a tough adjustment. When your world revolves around one day for four months of your life, there's bound to be some adjusting, right? Sure, my life hasn't been affected nearly as much as my brothers or his WIFE'S, but I don't think people realize how much the roommate/ Best lady of honor can be affected. I mean, what is my purpose now? Where do I go from here? What will I think about all day?

I'm trying to find direction. Really I am. I started an improv class on September 27th. So far, after just two classes, it has been interesting, uncomfortable, exciting, fun and frustrating.

My entire life I've worked at being the kid that was too cool to participate, but you can't do that in a class that you voluntarily took and paid for.

I'm also trying to come up with enough money to take a writing class. It's at The Second City, which is like the Harvard of comedy schools. Donations are currently being accepted. Make checks payable to CASH.

So there you have it. A post written entirely from my iPad. Rest in Peace Steve Jobs. My only regret is that I did not get to purchase my first iPhone in your lifetime.

Question

2011-09-02T16:45:00.000-07:00

I had the day off today, so naturally I spent the day making business cards for a friend that never asked me to, nor implied that she needed or wanted them. But I have my reasons, and they are personal.

When my brother got home, I showed him the business cards. After admitting to taking yet another trip to a store I've been frequenting lately, in order to make said business cards, he began to wonder how I could turn this problem into profit.

So my question is, how much would you pay? Keep in mind I'm fragile, and while I hope you're being honest in your answers, I'm not looking for honesty as much as I am compliments.

Sorry you can't read the fine print. I'm not an amateur photographer like my brother and his wife to be ( IN 15 DAYS!). So if you're interested, here's what it says.

top left:
Bowler.
Hostess.
Bad Ass.

lower left:
You want me.
Come find me.

Yeah, she's a bowler too. We're basically sisters from different misters . . . also, we don't have the same mother.

Humph

2011-08-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you come across people you desperately want to punch in the face. Psychologists say you shouldn't hold in your emotions though, right?

I guess I'm going to have to punch some people in the face.

The Orange and Green Machine

2011-07-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to my Mother, Father, sister, other sister, (nope, I didn't accidentally leave out my brother) and friends to whom communication lately has been almost non-existent. The last time I talked to my parents was the day after Fathers day (better late than never or something like that) and my mother brought it to my attention that I never call. I quickly retaliated with "Well you never call me either!" to which she replied "every time we call you never answer, and anyway you said your phone doesn't really get reception in that apartment".

Damn! Mom wins again. I guess mothers have to be smarter than you though, or else you'll end up selling your body on street corners to rich, sex crazed businessmen with weird fetishes no one should ever have to know about. But I digress.

Today's post is about the chapter of my life I like to call " The Orange and Green Machine". The title should be obvious to most of you, but just in case you haven't had your coffee yet, or are living in a world that doesn't revolve around me, I'll explain.

I've been living with my brother, or as I'll be referring to him today "Captain Orange" and his fiancee, "Queen Green". Their wedding is about two months away, and life in this apartment has been, well . . . a little hectic.

Thus far, living with Captain Orange and Queen Green has been going well . . . at least for me, who knows what they talk about when they go into their fancy bedroom that has "real walls".

We all sort of live on different schedules though, so that may be helping the situation. Captain Orange is the first to leave in the morning at a time that I barely like to speak of, let alone awake at . . . 7:30 am. I do get joy out of the fact that I hear him every morning and smile as I roll over to go back to sleep. Next is Queen Green. She has the worst working hours of the day. I'm pretty sure whoever started writing these hours on an actual schedule only did it out of spite and bitterness for a person who had wronged them in some way and needed to be punished . . . 11:30 - 8. Then there's me. I work at night . . . usually starting at 4, and don't get home until anywhere between 10 and 12pm. So when you think about it, Queen Green is the only one who never gets to enjoy having the apartment all to herself, and though she and Captain Orange claim she never likes to be alone, I don't truly believe it.

Yes, as you can see, we are indeed, three peas in one pod . . . and if you can't see that, then I'll just clarify that we are . . . except that I'm the pea that's slightly farther away from the other two peas that are really close together . . . like you can two bites of this pea, and one of them is just me and mostly pod, while the other is two peas and hardly any pod.

So what was I talking about? I want to say different varieties of peas, but that doesn't seem right.

Ahh yes, my life.

Aside from the madness that is "Watching two people plan a wedding", I am starting to somewhat enjoy my new job. Unfortunately, that's all I can really say about that, as I have signed a legal document stating that I will not talk about my job on the internet.

I have also taken on a few new challenges, and before I talk about them, I urge you all to jump on my bandwagon and try not to fall off.

1. I am training to do 100, yes there are 2 zeros after that 1, MAN pushups in a row. Captain Orange showed me this website that trains you to do 100 pushups in a row. I've been doing it for about 2 weeks now and am currently up to about 15. Doesn't seem like that many right? Well, in my initial exhaustion test I could only do 3. Which means that I can do 5 times as many now. Oh, and did I mention that the day after I did those initial 3, my entire body was sore?

2. I've given up eating . . . wait for it . . . while watching television. It's been quite the experiment actually. I wanted to see if I would eat less . . . because I think when you eat in front of the tv, you are so engrossed in what you're staring at, that you forget to enjoy your food, which only leaves you wanting more. Not to mention tv and eating go together like those 2 farther away peas I was talking about before. It has actually been really tough. I'm still having trouble with it (it's been about 3 weeks), especially when Captain Orange and Queen Green make dinner, then sit down and turn the tv on to eat. Leaving me, sitting alone in my "Bedroom" to eat my dinner somewhat alone, while still in very good earshot of the television*.

Just to clarify, I'm not angry that they do this, they have very little tv watching time on their hands lately, and it has really only happened like once.

Also, I don't count watching sports as watching tv because, well, I hate sports, and if say, a baseball game is on, I might as well be watching a fly on the wall, because they are more boring to me than church. Plus, it's hard to come home and not find Captain Orange watching a a Dodger game.

3. Caffeine. What can I say? The caffeine wagon is one bumpy ass ride and for some reason I always get a seat on the edge. I was able to go about a month without it, before the wagon came to a screaming halt and said "I'm sorry, you don't have enough will power to stay on this ride little darlin, you best be getting off here" as it pulled over right in front of a Starbucks.

Other than that, living with Captain Orange and Queen Green has made me quite curious about how exactly they met, and every little detail that went down during their "getting to know each other stage". Sure, we all know the shell of their story. Boy has blog, girl has blog. Boy comments on girls comment on other girls blog. Girl is intrigued by boys comment, checks out boys blog. Then boy checks out girls blog . . . and the rest is history. But what's inside that shell! Holy Cow! It's almost like a soap opera to me. But not a cheesy daytime soap opera, more like a classy night time soap opera . . . like ER, or Grey's Anatomy.

And in case you don't know the exact origin of of their first "meeting", well, here's a link. You have to go to the comments section of this girls post. Queen Green is Cadiz12 and Captain Orange is Jon.

I've also started reading both of their blogs from the beginning. Something I have never really been interested in doing before. I also suggest you attempt this as well . . . if you're family or even a fellow blogger that is. I have a whole new perspective on Queen Greens blog now that I know her a bit better, and it really adds to the writing.

Well, that's all I care to talk about right now, as I really have to use the restroom, and I've been writing this for about an hour and a half now.

* My bedroom was formerly their dining room. It's walls are made up of sheets. Which really gives the phrase " those walls are paper thin" a whole new meaning. You might think living in a sheeted off wall would get old fast, but I've grown quite used to it. I suppose if I had a boyfriend or a trashy reputation, the story would be quite different. But the goal right now is for all of us to save a little money, because as most of you know, I have no car. If you didn't know that, shame on you for not reading my blog more. You can find info on that here.

My latest Crush

2011-06-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that in the past I have fallen for several older men, usually of celebrity status. Luckily, they are staying in the same age range, while I continue to get older. This leads me to believe I will end up marrying a 45 year old man when I am in my mid 30's.

So here's the latest crush.

Ty Burrell, Plays Phil Dunphy on Modern Family.

I would like to sing him this song. Unfortunately, he's already married (as usual) with a kid. But hey, maybe he'll fall into the bad side of the divorce rate, I'll become famous, guest star on his tv show, and he will fall in love with me.* Yup, I definitely have a shot.

* Just so were clear, I don't want that to happen to him, I'm not that horrible. I'm just saying, if it did . . .

I'm a good driver

2011-05-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

This is what I did one week after I moved to Naperville, 20 minutes after I got a job, and half a second after I looked down.

Brace yourself.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

That's the bad news. But let me give you all the good news to make it seem like I'm a positive person.

1.) Nobody was injured . . . aside from some uncomfortable whiplash.

2.) The Monster energy drink I bought earlier that day survived as well.

3.) The other car looks waaaaaaaaaaaaaay better. ( it was my fault)

4.) It happened here and not in Nevada . . . or somewhere in between. This is considered good because my brother lives here and he can tell me what to do.

5.) I just got a replacement title.

I know there are probably a lot of questions. Especially if I'm related to you and this post is how you're finding out. Just know, that it could've been worse, and if I didn't tell you it's because I was scared to and talking about it is embarrassing. I feel like a terrible driver and the thought of ever driving again is a little terrifying.

But just to be clear: I was not drunk. I was not texting. And the job is at a restaurant.

The things you learn when driving almost cross country

2011-05-17T16:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I arrived at my brothers (now also my) apartment, after an 1860 mile drive from Sparks, Nevada to Lisle, Illinois. During that time I learned several things. I will now share those things with you in order to prepare you for a potential road trip in your future.

1. Starting an 1800 mile drive after approximately 3 hours of sleep is never a good idea. This combined with the fact that you just started your "lady time" is a recipe for disaster.

2. Trying to drive 75 miles per hour after never driving faster than 65 and usually only driving 55 mph (for the last 2 years anyway) is much more difficult than you would imagine. The reverse is also true.

3. Most of Nevada and Utah should just be declared a wasteland . . . I'd throw Wyoming and Nebraska in there too, but they're prettier so I'll leave them out of this.

4. Utah is the worst! I'm pretty sure it just used to be named Tah, but people so frequently said "F*** You Tah!" that eventually, everybody just thought it was named Utah.

5. High winds combined with several nearby salt lakes also contribute to the recipe mentioned in number 1. I have never been more scared in my life . . . including the time I drove over Donner Pass in a blizzard.

6. Road construction in other states isn't taken nearly as seriously as it is in Nevada.*

7. Half a box of cheese-its can be a meal, and you don't have to pull over to eat it.

8. Road kill happens far more than you could ever imagine. If you've ever seen roadkill and it was just a small animal that was all in one piece, consider yourself lucky . . . lucky that you didn't just see it's body, then 50 feet later, it's head . . . lucky that you didn't see a dark red color on the road and think "why did they paint this part of the road dark red, and what are all those chunks?", only to realize 10 seconds later what you were actually just looking at.

9. A good audiobook** is way more entertaining than even your bestest most favorite music. (Thanks TR!)

10. Semi's often think they are regular cars that have the right to pass other semis when driving on a 2 lane highway.

11. When you're really tired because you've been driving for 8 hours and still have eight more to go, put on a song you know the words to and sing it like you're giving a live performance.

12. Kum and go is an acceptable name for a gas station/ mini mart in several states.

13. The leading cause of bug death is head on windshield collisions. There were at least 1,000 casualties on my car alone.

14. Cleaning dead bugs off your window takes more than a little wiper fluid and a swipe of the wiper blades.

15. Some people enjoy watching the Glympse*** you sent them, while others couldn't care less.

16. The only thing worse than passing a cattle ranch, is being trapped behind a truck of cattle because there's road construction, and the highway has been reduced to one lane.

17. No matter what, the last 40 miles is more grueling than any other part of your trip . . . including the first part of Utah.

And that is my ride in a nutshell. I would like to give a special thanks to some people that made the ride a little easier.

1. My friend T.R.D. who burned me about 20 cd's so I wouldn't just be listening to all my old crap.

2. My former roommate S.P.R. who gave me all the ingredients for a Picklet (Patent Pending), as well as cookies and a gift card to subway.

3. My friend T.R. who gave me a bunch of candy and a gift card so I could buy the audiobook I was too cheap to buy on my own.

4. My sister A.S. who sent me frequent text messages updating me on my current location and letting me know how much farther I had to go.

5. My parents, for helping me get a hotel room the first night, when I couldn't figure out the Priceline application.

6. And finally, my brother and his fiancee, for letting me come live with them in the first place.

THANK YOU!

* In Nevada there's a part of the 395 that has a reduced speed limit of 55, this is due to road construction that has been going on for about a year and a half now. I rarely see any actual construction going on, yet the speed limit stays. In all the road construction I went through on my trip, the construction was usually very apparent and much scarier . . . yet the lowest speed limit was 65.

** The audiobook was Bossy Pants by Tina Fey, in case you were wondering, and it was pretty much the most perfect book I could have chosen for this particular trip.

*** Glympse is an application you can download on your phone. When used, you can send people a "Glympse" and they can track your progress. This helps people know when something might be wrong, and also gives them a better approximation of when exactly you will be arriving. It was so accurate in fact, that on my final day, my brother was able to find me on the freeway after he got off work, so that I could follow him home. Just to be clear, he wasn't already driving and was like "oh hey, Madelyn's two lanes over" . . . he had to pull over (only for about a minute though) and wait for me.

Confessions of a Candy Whore

2011-04-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

Every year for Lent, I usually forgo the Sunday rule because I feel like it's cheating. Sure The Bible or something says it's okay, and if we're living life by some type of rule book, I suppose The Bible is the book of rules that it would be . . . but still . . . if you're going to give something up for 40 days, it should be for 40 actual days . . . right?

But candy has some kind of evil hold over me. It might very well be made by the Devil* himself. So my point is, that last Sunday I ate candy . . . like, a lot of candy. But it's not really about how much candy I ate, ( although I'm pretty sure it's more than that German kid from the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory would eat in one day) it's the fact that I ate it.

Also, I've already had some today . . . but the point is that I wanted to confess. I know you all kind of view me as some sort of Super Woman who is amazing at everything she attempts . . . and usually that is the case. However, if you ever found yourself in a situation where we had to battle each other in some sort of "to the death" type match, all you would have to do is bring a bowl of candy and set it between us. I would eat the whole thing, and you could either kill me while I was eating it (which would kind of be considered a sucker kill) or you could wait until I'm done and make me fight you on a stomach full of candy . . . and if you've ever exercised on a stomach full of candy, like I myself have . . . several times . . . you would know, that defeat would be quick, and quite embarrassing on my part.

Okay, I feel a little better. Now if you'll excuse me, I only have 12 hours of designated candy eating left.

*Should devil be capitalized? Seems like kind of a blow to the capitalization of G in God. Am I right?

Mein Kampf

2011-03-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Is this title inappropriate? I can't decide.

Anyway, I wanted to give you all a little update on how "MY STRUGGLE" with Lent is going. I can honestly say I've never had so much trouble with something I've given up for Lent.

I thought sugar would be like nicotine. After three days it would be out of my system and it wouldn't be nearly as difficult after that. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

I long for it everyday. Every time I'm at the grocery store, I think "hey, maybe I'll get some candy" . . . because like I said before it is EVERYWHERE, and I love it. Not to mention they package it in bright pretty colors leaving me completely helpless in it's presence.

But then I am quickly reminded of the stupid mistake I made when I decided to give it up for Lent. Why couldn't I just pick going to the gym . . . or paying my bills?

Hindsight is twenty-twenty I guess.

In other news I have officially decided on my departure date . . . from Nevada that is . . . I will be leaving on the 15th of May. My brother lured me with tickets to a Brian Regan show . . . who could say no to that? Only an idiot.

That leaves me here for another month and a half. Yes, I have begun to panic. There is much to be done, and once again my laziness is severely exceeding my potential.

Lent

2011-03-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. Just about 40 days before Easter.

Although I haven't been to church in . . . I don't know how long . . . I usually like to participate in Lent.

Why?

I think self discipline is a good practice for anyone. I also like to participate in Yom Kippur if I'm given proper notice of what date it actually falls on. Maybe it's stupid . . . I don't know. I just sort of think we live in a time and a place where everything is so easily accessible to us that if we don't deprive ourselves of some things, sometimes, we'll just end up even worse off than we already are.

For example, I work in a place where there is not an open WiFi network. Not because we don't want to be able to provide one, but because we can't provide one without effectively securing access to our . . . I'm not sure how to say this . . . private information, I guess you would call it. Which means, if we did have WiFi, people could easily hack into our computers and steal important information.

But that's not the point. The point is, every time someone asks me for the password and I tell them that we don't have open WiFi to the public, they get pissed. I think it's a little ridiculous that people can't spend an hour of their lives without internet access.

I almost wish we still lived in a time where you had to be home to receive a phone call.

Don't get me wrong, I love technology, but I wish we didn't know any better sometimes.

So anyway, this year for Lent I decided to give up my biggest weakness . . . sugar. I bet you all thought I was going to say the internet huh? Well, that wouldn't make much sense now would it? How could I possibly be writing this post if that were the case?

Now, when I say sugar, I don't mean sugar entirely . . . that would be a little ridiculous, because there is some sugar in just about everything we eat. So to be more specific, I have given up Candy, and dessert food items . . . pretty much anything that is completely sugar based. Excluding fruit of course, that would just be silly.

So far it's been 5 days and it has been extremely difficult. THERE IS CAKE AND CANDY EVERYWHERE! Especially with Easter only 35 days away. I think they put that stuff out a little bit too early.

But I'm not just talking about in grocery stores . . . there's ice cream shops, donut shops, frozen yogurt shops . . . they. are. everywhere.

Did any of you give something up for Lent?

Neglection

2011-02-23T19:49:00.000-08:00

Apologies to my fans for lack of posts. I was doing so well after NaBloPoMo too.

Now let's get down to me and what I've been up to . . .

1.) I've officially decided to move to Naperville, IL at the end of May. I know I announced this on twitter, but I'm sure some of you have trouble looking to the right.

Ever since I made this decision I've felt a lot better about my life. Don't get me wrong, living in Nevada is great . . . if you want to go nowhere and do nothing . . . but it's time to move on. I like/ (okay I'll say Love) all the people I've met here, but just not enough to stay permanently. And let's face it, my brother needs me. His life is just one big mess without me living in the same state and I can't let that go on any longer.

I know what you're thinking and don't worry, I'm aware of the weather situation over there. I know it will be unpleasant . . . the humidity . . . there's been some talk of wind . . . and the snow. Just calm down . . . I'm aware of it. That doesn't, however, mean I won't bitch and complain when I am actually living in it.

As for what I am taking with me . . . not much. Only what will fit in my car. Frankly, I have to much stuff anyway. It's time to clean out my room and say goodbye to a lot of craft supplies that have somehow accumulated. I'm sure goodwill will be excited though.

2.) I finally had to get new rotors ( and brake pads). My brakes were making a screeching noise when I stopped and for some reason, instead of letting this continue for several weeks, I took care of it right away. It was expensive, and I'm pissed that it happened in February, because I think this month is unfair and unreasonable when it comes to paying bills, but it's taken care of . . . for the most part. Let's just hope my clutch doesn't go out before I leave too.

One thing I do enjoy is the lack of violent shaking my car used to make when I would come to a stop.

3.) I got in trouble at work. Don't worry, they already hate me there anyway . . . so nothings really changed. Apparently, they don't appreciate the forging of signatures*. Who knew? So, I was unfairly punished and it seems as though they don't like me any less than they already did.

Why don't they like me in the first place you ask? . . . I think they're intimidated by my intelligence and beauty. It may also be because I don't kiss their asses on a regular basis./ I don't know what happened, I used to be so good at kissing ass. I guess as you get older things change.

4.) My bowling team is doing better. I believe we will be in second place tomorrow. Of course, I am the only remaining original team member left.

Two of my team members moved away in November, and were replaced by the amazing "Kingpin" (as he's known on the streets of Reno) and the super sweet T.R. . . . who, has little skill when it comes to bowling, but her handicap makes up for it.

Then, at the end of December, M.N. lost his job and could no longer afford the 15 dollar weekly fee. After a month of him not showing up, we replaced him with The Kingpins mother, who is slightly better than me.

Hopefully we will finish in first place and win lots of money that will contribute to my move.

5.) I got a new phone. I was out at a bar one night, and up to no good of course, when a drunken me reached for my phone in my pocket to text someone about something, when I dropped my old phone.

Usually you can drop a phone and it will still work.

Not this time. This time it would have none of that working again nonsense.

I took out the battery and let it rest, put it back together 30 minutes later . . . but nothing. Just a stripy screen . . . the kind a broken tv might have.

I yelled at the top of my lungs "WORK PHONE! WORK! . . . I'M SORRY I DROPPED YOU, BUT WE CAN WORK THIS OUT . . .IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN" I swore. But my phone didn't care. It didn't want to be hurt again, so it just gave up.

I panicked. You can't go from having an android phone to having an old piece of crap blackberry. My contract wasn't up for another year and a half, and I didn't have insurance.

So I talked to my brother, the gadget expert. . . . he said there was no hope.

The next day I went to T-Mobile and told them my phone had stopped working for some mysterious reason ( I left out the "I dropped it" part). They said that since there was no water damage it would be covered under warranty.

HOORAHHHHHHH! OH HAPPY DAY! ETCETERA, ETCETERA!

All I had to do was call a number and tell them what happened and they would send me a new phone.

Unfortunately they didn't have my old phone in stock anymore, so they sent me an LG Optimus T.

So far I like it. It's way better than having to use my old blackberry for the next year and a half.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that's all I can think of . . .

* I didn't forge a signature in order to get money from someone who didn't leave me money if that's what you were thinking I would never ever do that), it was much, much much much much much X 1000, stupider than that.

Progress

2011-01-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

It's been a while and I think you've earned it.

Today at work there were some whole lemons sitting out. Before you start grilling me about why Top Secret agents have bowls of lemons sitting around, I'll just go ahead and tell you . . . that I can't tell you, because it's top secret. Instead I'll tell you what this bowl of lemons meant to me today . . . why they were more important to me today, than they have ever been on any other day with a bowl of lemons sitting out.

Juggling.

You saw my last video and how amazing I was right? Well I've only gotten better. Some of it was practice, but some of it was Cofo's technique of not practicing.

I saw the lemons at noon. Instantly I knew what I had to do. But I waited. I waited because I was busy with top secret things.

Finally around 2 o'clock my opportunity came. The opportunity to show the world what I could do. To show them that I'm so much more than just another top secret agent.

I grabbed three lemons and instantly felt a little nervous. Nervous because this time I wasn't just standing alone in my room practicing with actual juggling balls while nobody watched me.

I was using lemons. LEMONS! If I dropped one it would fall on the ground . . . and then what?! Would I have to throw the lemon away? Would my top secret agent boss get angry at me for inappropriate use of company property?

It didn't matter. The lemons were there and I had to juggle. Not only did I have to juggle, but I had to juggle where people could see. So after I grabbed the lemons I looked for the first person I could find and demanded that they watch.

And so I was on stage, sure, it was only one person, but they were looking at me. And guess what?

THEY WERE IMPRESSED! . . . SUCCESS!

I think it's safe to call myself a juggler. Time to break out the resume . . . some changes need to be made.

Life altering decision - Help Please

2011-01-07T17:31:00.001-08:00

Today I had an appointment to get my car stereo speaker fixed. The appointment was at 2, so I dropped it off at BestBuy and then headed over to Barnes and Noble to wait for it. I didn't expect it to take soooo long though.

After about three hours they called me and told me to call them back or just go in. So I put back the "Calvin and Hobbes" book I was reading (great stuff by the way) and went over. Guess what? They didn't even get to my freaking car. Somebody called in sick so they couldn't get to it and now I have to take it back in the morning.

Am I angry? Sort of.

However, during the waiting period I had some time to think.

As most of you may know, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. All I know is that it seems to be going nowhere, and I know one thing is for sure, I don't want to stay in Nevada for much longer.

So here's where you guys come in. I need some advice.

Over the past few months I've been thinking about where I want to move to next. I moved to Reno on a whim, so I'm really trying to give this some thought.

I know I want to move where there is family close by, because I can't stand living so far away from all of them now. San Diego has always been in the mix, but I've lived there already and even though the weather was beautiful during Christmas and it was a pleasant change from the cold winter, I think I might miss the seasons too much.

So that's when I started considering the Chicago area, where my brother lives. I even talked to him about it while we were together for Christmas and he told me Cadiz has even brought it up to him.

But this would be a big move. It would be expensive, and I wouldn't necessarily have a job when I got there. However, it would be close to my brother, and the Beast would be a little bit closer as well. Not much, but closer.

Plus, if my brother has kids, I would get to be near them.

It's also less expensive to live in than Southern California.

So what are your thoughts?

I would plan on moving in May I think, because that's when my bowling league will be over. Nothing is set in stone, but a large part of me is ready to get the hell out of this town.

Tuxedo dress

2011-01-06T12:16:00.000-08:00

As most of you may remember from my last post, I am an awesome juggler!

You may also remember that my sisters and I are going to be in my brothers wedding.

After he asked us to stand up there, we (mainly the Beast and I) were overwhelmed with questions. My main one concerned the dress I would be wearing. Not because I hate wearing dresses, because it's my brothers wedding and I will wear whatever he wants me to wear, but because I wanted to know if it would be a tuxedo dress.

When I mentioned "tuxedo dress" I knew exactly what I was talking about because I could picture it in my head. However the rest of the Fam* was confused.

So today I came up with a preliminary drawing of what the hell I was talking about. It's not perfect, because I'm not exactly Michaelangelo (yes, I'm talking about the ninja turtle), but it covers the basic idea.

Soooo, what do you think? Pretty awesome right?!!?

* Yeah, I abbreviate the word family now.

FYI - Cadiz12 - I will of course wear whatever you want me to wear.

Juggling

2010-12-30T13:17:00.000-08:00

They say practice makes perfect . . . but I'm not so sure. Here's me trying to juggle after 5 days ( although I didn't jusggle at all for the last 2).

In other news, my sister's and I are going to stand up at my brother and cadiz12's wedding! I always kid about being his best lady, but guess what people, it's happening. Oh boy is it happening!

Hibblediddledobooledeedaa

2010-12-17T11:30:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up to a winter wonderland! I'm very excited, but also too lazy to get out of my nice warm bed.

I'd show you a picture, but it wouldn't do it justice. They never do. You have to be here, to experience the beauty of freshly fallen snow on the ground.

Last night I got this in the mail:

I sort of thought it was going to be made of gold. Sure shows how much they value my blood.

They called me the other day to beg me for more blood. Unfortunately, I had to turn them down because of my tattoo.

This one is for Syar:

It's prettier in person. I've always wanted a fake diamond.

Other than that, last night was positioning round in my bowling league. Which basically means it was important, especially because our team was in second place, so we played the first place team.

I'd like to say that I had the best three games of my life, but that would be a lie. I couldn't seem to get it together. The finger holes in my ball were ice cold, or maybe it was my hands . . . I'm not sure, but it was making it hard to grip the ball.

I tried everything. The only thing that helped a little bit was a couple of beers*.

Needless to say, we lost . . . all 4 games. So now we're probably in 3rd or 4th place because the 3rd and 4th place team we're only a game behind us. Does any of that make sense to you non-bowlers?

Oh, and today I got some pistachio nuts ( hands off dad), and some mint lifesavers. The note that came with them said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't". I was relieved to find that they were not a mounds bar or an almond joy, as I think those are disgusting.

But no more bowling for 2 weeks. So I better get down to the lanes and figure out what the F*** (sorry, I'm really frustrated about it) I'm doing wrong. Who wants to go bowling in Ventura or SD? . . . Beast? . . .Beasts husband?. . . Dad?. . . Brother? . . . ANYBODY?!

* I don't really like beer . . . at all . . . but I'll drink it. Besides, it was Blue Moon, which is better than a lot of other beers.

What Happened.

2010-12-15T19:13:00.000-08:00

Whoever said " You are going to regret saying that" in the comment form of my blog, on the last day of NaBloPoMo, after I told everyone I would continue posting until the 24th, was right. I don't know what happened . . . scratch that, yes I do.

I believe it all started on a Wednesday. I got a fake diamond and some handmade snowflakes that day. All of which I really enjoyed. Then I went to work.

When I got home from work, extreme laziness ensued.

Before I knew it, it was 10 o'clock at night. I went to the gym. I came home, started my post in order to ensure the correct date at the top so I could fool you all and just finish it the next morning.

The next morning came, and I continued to put it off. "Nobody's reading this anyway", I assured myself, because after all, Syar was the only one commenting.

Another day went by, and I vowed to do a catch-up post, which would include all advent gifts to date. I even started it . . . took pictures and everything. Unfortunately, I quickly became dissatisfied with everything I was writing. None of it was any good.

After that I gave up. I knew I was a failure in everyone's eyes by now, and I accepted it.

And here we are, 7 days later. Now, I'm unable to even tell you what I got on what day, because the gifts have not been kept organized. All I can really say is that I look forward to opening them every morning.

Day 7

2010-12-07T21:27:00.000-08:00

Today I got some gum. Two packages of polar ice and one pack of cigarette bubble gum. Now, I can chew gum and look cool at the same time.

Seriously though, who came up with bubble gum cigarettes? And why did parents think they were okay to buy?

"Here kids, now you can practice looking like you smoke, so that when you're thirteen and trying to fit in, you won't look like an idiot . . . no, no, no, hold it like this, between your index finger and your middle finger. The way you were doing it is how you hold a joint . . . yeah, you're right, you should probably practice both ways. Now, while you're practicing, drink a bottle of coke at the same time, you can pretend it's beer."

I can't say that I didn't always want bubble gum cigarettes when I was a kid though, I thought they were pretty awesome actually. And that, my friends, is probably why I went on to smoke real cigarettes when I got older.

Point made.

P.S. Just to clarify, I no longer smoke.

Day 6

2010-12-06T23:46:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up to a dreaded phone call.

It was a bad start to my morning.

Work wasn't much better.

But at least I got to open a present.

Today I got a candle that smells like a Christmas tree. I haven't lit it yet, but I think I will right now.

We still haven't gotten a Christmas tree for the house, but one of my roommates is very eager to go get one. Unfortunately, our schedules constantly clash, and both of the roommates are busy studying for finals this week. So for now, just the candle will have to do.

The beast got it because when we were kids we never really had real trees, at least not for most of my childhood. My mom is allergic . . . or so she says. She's also allergic to cats, but god forbid she let me have Spencer. Anyway, that's why she got it for me.

Only 15 more days 'til I blow this popsicle stand and head down to Southern California. Sixty degree weather is sounding pretty sweet right now. Although I'm extremely disappointed that we haven't gotten very much snow here. I want to build a snowman damnit. I want to get a carrot and a top hat and some rocks and make the sweetest looking snowman on the block.

Patience is indeed a virtue.

Day 5

2010-12-05T11:52:00.001-08:00

It's Day 5 on the Advent Calendar and The Beast sent me some financial aid.

It's going to pick the winning lottery numbers for me . . . it's going to be a good Christmas.

Day 4

2010-12-04T14:06:00.000-08:00

Day 4 of the Advent calendar and I got a black Sharpie, and two pads of post-it notes. The note that came with it said I should use them to make my Christmas list, but since I already did that I decided to write this instead . . .

Joseph Arthur

2010-12-03T22:43:00.000-08:00

Today's advent gift was a cd the Beast has been meaning to give me for a long time. A compilation of Joseph Arthur's music. I've been a fan of his since I heard his song "Honey and the Moon" back in 2003 (?) in the movie " An American Wedding". Stupid movie, great song.

I would put a picture of it on here, but it's in my car and it's cold outside. Besides, I'm pretty sure everyone knows what a cd looks like.

If only I could put music on here.

I've listened to some of it, and it's pretty good. Very depressing though, which is what the Beast likes.

I plan to listen to it a lot more when I drive home to Southern California for Christmas. It's an 8 to 10 hour drive.

ONLY 19 MORE DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE!

tiny containers

2010-12-02T17:10:00.000-08:00

Tiny containers? What aren't they good for?

Today was day 2 for the Advent calendar. I got these:

I don't know what I'm going to use them for yet, but I think they're pretty cool.

Oops

2010-12-01T19:02:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. I promised pictures of all the advent gifts from the advent calendar an extremely intelligent beast made for me, but . . . the first one was candy, and you can't give me candy and expect me to wait long enough to take a picture of it before I eat it.

Luckily, I'm a good drawer. So to make up for it, I drew a picture of how I look when I'm all by myself and there's candy around.

(The amount of candy wrappers has been modified to save myself from further embarrassment.)

So now you know. Maybe instead of being a vegetarian, I'll become a candytarian.

This is it.

2010-11-30T21:05:00.000-08:00

We all knew this day would come. I know you're sad that it's ending, but all good things must come to an end. That's just life.

(Insert big booming voice here)

LUCKY FOR YOU IT'S NOT OVER. NOT FOR ME ANYWAY.

(Lowered, yet still booming voice)

Remember the advent calendar my sister got me? Well, I intend to post a picture of every gift, every day. That means 24 more wonderful days of consistent (AAAaaaaaaa) The Beginning of Something Great posts!

I don't know what you guys did, but karma has come back around.

In short, your welcome.

My nose still won't stop running . . .

2010-11-29T21:30:00.000-08:00

. . . and it's because it's so cold. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I wonder if I can go everywhere with tissue stuffed up my nose? I feel like in the winter time that should be some sort of fashion. Like scarves and mittens.

See? The world would/ could be a better place. Who's with me?!

My nose won't stop running . . .

2010-11-28T21:27:00.000-08:00

. . . and it's driving me crazy. It's also causing sneeze attacks, which is only unpleasant because it constantly feels like I have to sneeze, then when I finally do it feels great, but the feeling returns quickly.

I'm not sick, not sick at all. Thanks to my healthy eating ( aside from all the candy and sugar I can't seem to stop eating), regular exercise and most importantly the 8 - 10 hours of sleep I get almost every night, I have a great immune system (knock on wood). It's just really dry up here.

Other than that, I decided what my next tattoo will be . . . they are addicting you know. Tell me what you think.

I started rereading the first Harry Potter book, so that's where I got such an awesome idea. Some people ( The Beast) say you shouldn't tattoo your face, but I say " What if it's something really cool . . . and Harry Potter related?"

Really, it's still November?

2010-11-27T18:06:00.000-08:00

Today I was suppose to work, but didn't.

Today I spent a lot of money at Best Buy.

Today I finally found a free program that enabled me to transfer all the songs on my ipod to my computer. So family, scratch that off my Christmas list.

I've been trying to do this for a year and a half now because ever since I got my new macbook I haven't been able to
transfer the songs that were on my old computer onto my new computer.

Today I discovered a new song I like from an album I've had for a few months now, but didn't really care for, so I never really listened to it.

But enough about today, let me entertain you with a crappy drawing.

Oh, I'm sorry, did I say crappy? I meant AWESOME!

9 Crimes

2010-11-26T21:08:00.000-08:00

Today I committed 9 crimes.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Okay, no I didn't, but I couldn't think of a title for this post that is going to be mostly nonsense, so I picked a song from itunes and made that the title of my post.

If you're interested in the song, it's by Damien Rice. I think it's a great song, very depressing though . . . which is sort of my thing.

Now, prepare to be impressed with my amazing paintbrush drawing skills.

Today I bought Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone so I could start rereading all of them. It was $8.99. I wonder how much it cost when it first came out and nobody knew what they were buying?

This drawing is kind of what's on the front cover.

I know, it's impressive.

I don't think I can make this post any better now that you've seen the drawing, so I'll stop there.

Did you know?

2010-11-25T12:55:00.000-08:00

Did you know, that when you're a vegetarian you can't eat Turkey. Not even on Thanksgiving!

I was okay with not eating meat the other 364 days of the year, but this is getting a little ridiculous.

Oh well, more room for pie I guess.

Think of me while you're doing this:

I'm having a bad day

2010-11-24T21:33:00.001-08:00

and I just don't feel like it.

Budget fit for a Beast

2010-11-23T15:18:00.000-08:00

Today I got yet another package from my Beastly sister. Now, don't get me wrong, I love getting packages . . . even if they may be filled with hippopotamus paraphernalia, but it really made me think about my sister's budget. After thinking about it for what must have been at least 10 seconds, I think I figured out what her budget consists of every month. To illustrate, I drew this pie chart.

As for the contents of the package, I am both excited and frustrated at the same time. She made me an advent calendar, but with GIFTS. There are 24 gifts, but I can't start opening them until December 1st. Really Beast, really?

Here's a little look inside the package.

Was all this really necessary?

I want to open all of them now!

Random Thoughts

2010-11-22T19:37:00.000-08:00

1.) Does anyone else get irritated when public restrooms don't flush automatically? It bothers me when they don't . . . ESPECIALLY when they have automatic faucets and soap dispensers. It's 2010 people and I don't want to flush the toilet anymore! ( I can see that this leaves me wide open for jokes from my siblings about how I never flushed the toilet when I was a little kid, so go ahead.)

2.) Has anyone seen "Punch Drunk Love"? I watched about 20 minutes of it before I couldn't take it anymore.

3.) I can't find my debit card. Apparently having a purse and a wallet isn't enough to keep me from losing it.

4.) Only 32 days until Christmas! What's on your Christmas list?

5.) Only a Beast would do this:

6.) I tried out Pandora after reading Cofo's blog post a while back. I am not impressed. I put in "No More Kings" and it keeps playing Barenaked Ladies, a band which I can no longer stand.

7.) Hey look, it's me as a baby:

8.) Remember my chair?

It was a good chair and I miss it. I got rid of it when I moved because my apartment was attacked by bird mites and I was afraid they might be on the chair. I didn't want to risk infesting my new place with bird mites. Damn you bird mites!

9.) I just started watching Glee. I'm currently waiting for disc 2 from Netflix. So far, it's pretty good.

10.) Speaking of Netflix, did anyone else who has it get an e-mail saying the price was going up 1 dollar?

I'm pretty sure this is against my new religion

2010-11-21T11:58:00.000-08:00

I was doing some online window shopping, when I came across this.

Of course I would never eat it because a.) I'm a vegetarian and b.) it must be against The Unicorn Code even though it doesn't technically say so.

However, if you should so desire to purchase a can, it's $11.99 at thinkgeek.com.

Just so we're clear

2010-11-20T15:25:00.000-08:00

Those of you who have met me in person know that I rarely smile. It's not something I consciously think about, it's just my face. Every person I meet, and I mean EVERYONE I meet usually asks me a variation of the same thing: "Why don't you smile more?"

I'm telling you right now, I don't know. I DON'T FREAKING KNOW!

This has been the case for me for as long as I can remember. Although, I visited my parents back in August and my mother and I were going through a lot of old pictures. Of course there were very few pictures of me because I'm the youngest, and, well, who cares about the fourth kid you have, they had already seen all the cute things kids do with the first three, right?

Anyway, I noticed that in every picture I always had the biggest smile on my face. We're talking ear to ear grinning here.

I guess I met my smile quota for my entire life when I was 10 or so.

But just so we're clear, when I look like this:

I usually feel AND think that I look like this:

I swear.

Yeah, I already saw it

2010-11-19T22:40:00.000-08:00

If you don't know what this is then you probably don't know what I'm talking about. If you do know what this is . . . I already saw it, be jealous.

Let's get something straight here

2010-11-18T16:45:00.000-08:00

Every time I go to the gym, I see this:

It drives me nuts. You can't hold on like that when you're suppose to be going uphill, it defeats the purpose.

I want to slap these stupid chicks.

Slipper Socks

2010-11-17T22:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I bought some slipper socks.

I love them.

City Lights

2010-11-16T21:06:00.000-08:00

I wanted to make today's post a tribute to the city I live in, by taking a picture of the awesome view from a place I came across a while back. Unfortunately, my camera phone was not up to the task, because this was all I got.

I was hoping for this:

If only I had that camera my brother just spent a fortune on . . .

Hey Jon, can I borrow your new camera?

Tiny ear syndrome

2010-11-15T19:33:00.000-08:00

Tiny ear syndrome. I have it. God forgot to take into account ipods when he designed my ears.

Most headphones don't stay in my ears . . . well, I guess I should say earbuds, rather than headphones.

This is mostly a problem when I run.

I remember when I first started exercising at a gym. I was 18, I had a discman and these kind of headphones:

They would also fall off my head during rigorous activity, plus they would bleed black ink onto my shirts (from sweating and whatnot).

Plus, my discman would skip with every step I took (while running that is). But that's not what we're talking about here.

I think ipods were already available at this time, but they were mostly for the rich and famous.

I purchased my first ipod when I was 21. I had just transferred to San Diego State and I wanted to fit in with all the ipod wearing students. They were so cool.

It was worth every penny. But I didn't spend a whole lot of time exercising back then, so it didn't really matter.

I feel like I'm getting off track here. What I'm trying to say is that earbuds are made for giant people ears.

I went looking for a new pair of headphones today, I wanted some that hang over your ears. That way they won't fall out when I run . . . which is my main problem.

I used to have a good pair, but I took them for granted. I threw them out when my apartment was attacked with bird mites because at one point they were crawling all over them and I didn't want to have bird mites crawl into my brain through my ears. You understand.

I thought I would just be able to go buy another pair when I needed them. I can't find them anymore.

DAMN MY TINY EARS . . . no wait . . . DAMN THOSE EARBUD ENGINEERS AND THEIR NOT TAKING INTO ACCOUNT PEOPLE WITH SMALL EARS!

Some of you might be thinking "What about those headphones with squishy covers that shape to your ear?"

(pardon my language) Those are bullshit, and they don't work.

Okay, I'm done venting.

Paper weight

2010-11-14T14:11:00.000-08:00

My sister must have known that I constantly have papers flying all over the place for lack of a paper weight to hold them down.

Another Hippo gem.

Now all my papers stay put, Thanks Beast.

Stained Glass

2010-11-13T13:27:00.000-08:00

People will make anything out of stained glass these days.

I know it's rude to ask, but I want to know how much you paid for this Beast.

I wonder where I should hang this. ( does that seem like a question to you? I can't decide.)

Thanks again Beast.

Introducing . . .

2010-11-12T13:05:00.000-08:00

. . . The Pengopotamus ladies and gentlemen.

For those of you who read the comments from my last post, you may remember what Syar had to say. What if a Penguin and a hippopotamus mated and successfully procreated?

She also came up with some good names for the possible hybrid, pengippo . . . hippenguin . . . but ultimately I decided pengopotamus rolled off the tongue a little better.

As for your visual of what said creature would look like . . . well, of course I'm going to illustrate.

As you can see, this unusual creature inherited the body of a penguin, and the head and feet of a hippopotamus. I know what you're thinking, "What kind of scientific research have you done for this?" but I assure you, there has been absolutely none whatsoever, which is why it must be an accurate depiction.

Like most penguins, the Pengopotamus lives in Antarctica, but it doesn't eat fish. It is a strict vegetarian ( it must have also watched Food Inc.). It can swim, but not very well due to the lack of feet fins (yeah, that's a thing). It mostly just likes to lounge in the water, with it's body completely immersed while it's head bobs just above it.

It's not a violent creature, but it will attack if it feels in danger. Unfortunately, it's only weapon is it's teeth. It can neither run fast nor grasp anything (penguin arms, what are you going to do?) so it's not hard to get away if you accidentally make it angry.

That is all we know about the Pengopotamus, because that is all I feel like making up right now. I encourage all of you reading this today, to educate the masses about the Pengopotamus so I can become rich for inventing him (Don't worry Syar, I'll give you the usual 5% founders fee).

It's so cold

2010-11-11T17:14:00.000-08:00

This last week has been really cold. It's kind of annoying.

The thing I hate the most about the cold is going to the gym in it. Sometimes my feet are pretty much frozen, which makes it harder to get warmed up. Plus there's the walking to my car in exercise pants, which only go down to my knee, and then getting out of the car and walking into the gym. I dread it everyday.

I think bears have the right idea, we should all just be sleeping right now, all the way until spring. WHO'S WITH ME!?!?!

Other than that, I would like to thank my friend T.R.D. (same one who made the cupcakes) for this sweet little bag.

IT HAS A PENGUIN ON IT!

And also for my little wind up friend.

His name is Pablo . . . Pablo Penguin.

THANK YOU T.R.D.!

It's not all Hippo's

2010-11-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

Today I would like to thank my beast sister for what I consider her "real" birthday gift to me.

I was too lazy to take a picture of it, plug my phone into my computer, upload the image, and then restart my computer so I could upload it for this post, so here's the link.

It's a pretty sweet jacket and I've gotten several compliments while wearing it.

What you can't see, however, is the hippopotamus she stitched onto the inside of the left pocket.

Okay, so she didn't really, but that would have been pretty awesome. Thanks again Beast.

Don't "leave" me

2010-11-09T19:09:00.000-08:00

When I lived in California, every day was almost the same. It was sunny. The most exciting weather we ever got was rain.

During the winter I used to pray for snow. My parents would tell me it had to be at least 30 degrees for it to snow, so I would monitor the temperature everyday.

A few times it did get into the thirties, but there wasn't going to be any snow. I didn't understand this at the time, so I just kept hoping.

WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME PARENTS . . . WHYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!

Anyway, I love living in a place where the seasons change.

Don't get me wrong, it has it's drawbacks. For instance, it's starting to get cold, really cold, and I'm already over it. Snow is fun to look at and play in, and for the most part I don't mind it, but leaving an extra half hour early to go to work simply so you can shovel your car out of the snow, and drive 25 mph the whole way there isn't exactly my idea of a good time. Good exercise though.

But this time of year is my favorite. It's only the second time I've witnessed it, but it's magical . . . sort of like my smile.

I think most of you know what I'm talking about . . . you know . . . when your neighborhood has these:

Where does she find these things?

2010-11-08T14:22:00.000-08:00

My Beast sister (formerly known as older older sister, or something like that) knows I like bowling. So she must have assumed I also like golfing as well, because she got me this:

I think she might have access to some sort of "All Things Hippo" store, because she's way better at finding things than me.

It's time to come clean . . . again. . . about something different though . . .

2010-11-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

I was going to wait until Christmas to reveal this startling news to my family, but then I thought . . . "No, better to do it via my blog, where no one can hurt me."

This post just got interesting didn't it?

I want you to think for a minute. What could Madelyn do that might want to make family members hurt her?

(insert Final Jeopardy music here)

.

. .

. . .

. . . .

. . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . Okay! . . . Actually . . . nope, you're not ready yet.

. . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . .

. . . .

. . .

. .

.

Okay, enough already. I'm just going to show you.

No, that's not a stamp. That is a tattoo.

It's a copyright tattoo to be exact. In a way, I don't think my Dad should be mad at me because basically I just branded myself with his name. And really, my mom shouldn't be mad at me either . . . I just copyrighted THEIR work.

So parents, YOU'RE WELCOME!

Besides, if you're going to be mad at somebody, you should be mad at Jon, he knew about it and didn't say anything (sorry brother, every person for themselves).

Seat Belts

2010-11-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

In 2008 I got a birthday present I would have never asked for in a million years. A purse. I never saw myself as a purse girl. They just always seemed like something for old people.

Unfortunately for me, I was constantly losing my wallet, which by the way, was also something I didn't really like having. For a very long time I would just carry around my license and debit card. I thought the wallet would help, but when I first got that, it turned out that instead of just losing my license, or just losing my debit card, I would lose them all at once.

While living with my San Diego sister she would constantly tell me that I needed to get a purse. I'm pretty sure she got sick of me constantly asking her if she had seen my wallet or my keys.

I never listened though. I was okay with my system . . . which consisted of putting my stuff wherever and hopefully remembering later where that wherever was, but if I couldn't remember, ten minutes of searching was just the price I had to pay.

Was it annoying? A little, and when I say a little, I mean very. Especially when I was running late for school or work. (Luckily, my version of running late was being less than ten minutes early.)

So anyway, in 2008 I received this for my birthday:

Pretty cool right? This purse is made entirely out of seat belts.

This is the only purse I have ever used.

Fast forward to present birthday. San Diego sister got me this:

Yup, a wallet made entirely out of seat belts. And I definitely needed it, because for the last 3 years I had been using a magic wallet . . . which, while extremely cool due to it's magical abilities, is not as efficient as one might think. There was no room for cash, limited room for various cards, and definitely no room for receipts.

Plus, it matches my purse, same brand and everything.

Thank You San Diego sister, formerly know as Older younger sister, but currently changed to San Diego sister because the other name was too confusing.

I likes it, I likes it a lot.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering where to pick up some of these bad ass seat belt items, the wallet came with these:

Don't be confused by knockoffs, Harvey's is the best . . . and the original. (I wonder if they'll give me money for this?)

We interrupt these birthday thank you's . . .

2010-11-05T13:44:00.000-07:00

With a quick look at how awesome my pumpkin was this year.

My roommate S, her boyfriend M and I, carved pumpkins a little prematurely this year, but somehow they still made it to halloween looking only slightly moldy.

You should be able to tell which one is mine because it's the best looking one . . . as my mother grew it herself in her very own garden. You can't get much more organic than that.

In case there were any doubts, it's this one . . .

On a scale of 1 to 10 how obsessed have I been with superman lately?

I think the pumpkin says it all.

Bowling Shoes

2010-11-04T21:12:00.001-07:00

Since tonight is the night of my bowling league I think I'll share what my parents gave me for my birthday.

Everybody knows style is everything when you bowl, which is why I asked for these babies. Do you see the gold bling? Very necessary.

Thank You Mom and Dad, you've now contributed to my bowling greatness.

On a related note, my team is currently in third place and we won three out of four games tonight. My high score was a 195.

We also got one new team member to replace two people that found it necessary to ditch the team and move to Utah. Where are their priorities?

Luckily the new guy is awesome. His average is about 220, so he doesn't bring a handicap to the team, but that's okay with me. I'm still the best/ only girl on the team though.

Go TooToo's! (That's our teams name . . . it's a short story I don't feel like telling.)

Cupcakes

2010-11-03T16:06:00.000-07:00

Today I'd like to thank my good friend T.R.D for taking the time to make me these birthday cupcakes. They're a little rough, but her efforts are greatly appreciated.

That is ten bowling pins, and 1 bowling ball. She used regular cupcakes as the base, then a mini pumpkin muffin on top of that, and finally a donut hole on top of the mini pumpkin muffin. The stripes are fruit rollups.

Before she unveiled them I thought they were going to look like penguins, so I was caught a little off guard.

They were delicious though. Thank You T.R.D.!

This post has been rated PG-13

2010-11-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows what a Barbie doll is, right?

Well did you also know, that there are also dolls out there that closely resemble the beloved Barbie doll, but with one significantly disturbing difference?

Prepare yourself for what you're about to see . . .

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. . . . . . . . . . . . careful, you don't want to jump into this too quickly.

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I got this for my birthday from my oldest sister.

I'm not sure if thank you is the right word, but I'll say it anyway . . . only with a question mark afterwards.

Thank You?

Stay tuned tomorrow for some interesting looking cupcakes a friend made for me.

NaBloPoMo/ Multitasking

2010-11-01T15:03:00.000-07:00

I've decided to use NaBloPoMo to multitask. I know my last post stated that there would be Thank You's. Which means it's time to stop the laziness.

I will thank each person, for one gift, one day at a time, that way I will have a blog post for at least (thanks to my oldest sister) 25 days. I'll just have to wing it on the other 5.

Today I will be thanking my good friend T.R. for one of the most awesome beanies on this planet.

Yes, that is a penguin, and no, you cannot have it.

Thank You once again T.R., I love it forever and always.

Stay tuned tomorrow for a picture of a doll you'll wish you never saw.

Coming soon . . .

2010-10-26T23:55:00.000-07:00

Thank You's.

Stay Tuned . . .

It's time to come clean . . .

2010-10-03T20:56:00.000-07:00

. . . before things become awkward.

I've tried to do it before, but have never been successful. It's only been a month and a half, but that's longer than I've ever gone before, so I think it's time to make it official. How do I do that? By blogging about it of course.

Now onto what the hell I'm talking about. I'm a little cautious to tell some of you because it might make you angry. But here it goes anyway.

I have become a vegetarian.

I know, I know, what about protein, and other things in meat that are essential to being healthy?

Peanut Butter, yogurt, fruit, vegetables, cheese, candy of course . . . this is what my diet is now based on.

Why did I do it?

After several previous attempts to become a vegetarian, I sort of gave up on the whole idea. However, as it was, I hardly ever ate meat anyway. But that's not why I did it.

I watched a movie.

Food Inc.

If you want to continue eating meat, don't watch it. It was awful. I'm not going to get into the details, because if you want to know what it's about you should just watch it. If you don't, then why should you have to hear about it from me?

I'm not a vegan, and I haven't decided if I want to eat fish yet, but as of August 17th, 2010 I have not eaten any meat. (although, I did have some broccoli cheddar soup from work that contains chicken broth, and I'm sure that counts to some people, but it only happened once, and it was only a few spoonfuls.)

I probably would have kept this a secret longer, but then I thought about Christmas and how I don't want to have to explain myself then.

I'm still the same person, I just don't eat turkey sandwiches.

I've seen the Future . . .

2010-08-25T19:35:00.000-07:00

. . . and it is HERE!

How many times have you thought to yourself "Man, I wish my ruler would fold up so it would fit in my pocket better!"

I'm guessing you think that on a daily basis, right?

I know I did . . . until now, when all my dreams came true.

Normal ruler right?

Uh-Oh, what's happening?!?

MAGIC, that's what.

Melvin

2010-08-13T13:48:00.000-07:00

For the last few years I have been wanting a Road bike. I don't know what it is about them, I just think they are awesome.

About two weeks ago I found my Road Bike soul mate. His name is Melvin . . . yes, he's a boy . . . and he is awesome.

Other than that, I only have one more thing I want to share: people, as in human beings, are now wearing tails. It's all the rage. Get used to it.

See? I told you.

I'm still alive Part II

2010-07-26T12:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, where did I leave off?

Ahh yes, I had just been pulled over two days in a row and decided not to drive my car anymore until it was registered in the state of Nevada.

Instead of going into every little detail, I'm just going to tell you that I now have Nevada license plates on my car as well as a Nevada driver's license. It only took a total of five hours at 2 different DMV's in 2 different states on 2 separate days to get them. Life has been much less stressful ever since though.

Oh and did I mention I got yet another package from my beastly sister. Another doozy. I will soon have a museums worth of hippopotamus figurines and stuffed animals.

There were a lot of hilarious items in this package, but I think my favorite was a stuffed otter that came with a note that said "What's up with this? I OTTER be giving you more hippo stuff!"

I'm still alive

2010-07-12T17:25:00.000-07:00

Yup, I am still breathing. Some of you who are reading this may be happy about that, some maybe not so much.

A lot's been happening since I last posted.

1.) I moved. I have two roommates now, they're pretty awesome . . . so far. That may change. People seem to become a little crazy once you really get to know them . . . myself included I'm sure.

2.) I still live in Nevada. That part hasn't changed I suppose. I decided I wasn't ready to move yet . . . and I know you're all wondering it, so I'm just going to tell you straight up: No, it wasn't because of a boy. I still haven't met anyone good enough yet. But I'm sure if I do I will keep it a secret as long as possible.

3.) I'm still in the bowling league. We haven't been doing to well the last couple of weeks though. Let me break it down for you.

a.) As I mentioned before, there are four people on the team. R and D are a couple. R is really good when he's good, but when he's having an off day, as he has been for the last few weeks, he's pretty bad. D has always been pretty poor at the game . . . her average is . . . 114, I think.

b.) M is almost as good as R, and is actually more consistent at doing well, but in my opinion he cheats because he doesn't use his thumb when he bowls.

c.) Then there's me, I'm not completely terrible. I have my good games (186) and my bad games (114), but my average has pretty much stayed the same (143).

4.) My registration sort of expired on my car at the beginning of July, and it's been nothing but trouble ever since. I say "sort of" because technically I paid the registration fee on time, but what I didn't do was get it smogged. I kept planning on it, but it just never happened.

So, when I was driving home from work last Wednesday I got pulled over. Unfortunately, I also didn't have my insurance card on me because of another horrible thing that happened to me, but I'll get to that later. So the NHP (Nevada Highway Patrol) man asked to see my license, registration and proof of insurance, all I had to show him was my CALIFORNIA drivers license. At this point I was nervous and scared of the consequences so I proceeded to lie and tell him that I had just moved here and was planning on registering my car in Nevada, as well as getting a Nevada Drivers License. Then I found an older proof of insurance and thought "hey I should show him this!" BAD IDEA! It had my Nevada address on it, which proved that I had been there since at least November.

Because of this he gave me a ticket for being a working resident of Nevada without registering my car or getting a Nevada license. He also gave me a ticket for not having proof of insurance.

Does it get worse? Yeah, kind of. I went home that night, told one of my roommates and we decided the best way to fix my problem was to get super drunk. I had an entire bottle of White Zin (P.S. I rarely drink) all to myself.

I woke up feeling awful. A little too awful. I had the first signs of a cold. I was devastated, I hadn't been sick in a year. Almost a year exactly actually.

I drove to work, terrified of being pulled over. Luckily I made it.

I was not so lucky on the way home after work. I was literally a mile away from home when I got pulled over again.

I showed the NHP man my ticket from the day before, thinking maybe it was some sort of extension to get my car registered in Nevada. It wasn't. Luckily, he was nice and decided to let me go. I really like him actually. He was very helpful when I asked him questions about what exactly I had to do. So maybe it was a good thing.

I decided not to drive my car again until it I was able to get my car registered.

To be continued . . .

What's going on?

2010-06-14T22:32:00.000-07:00

I grew tired of my background once again, so here we are.

Big News! My bowling game has improved ten fold! I went from bowling 120's and 130's to bowling 160's, 170's, and 180's.

I know, I know, I'm awesome.

I learned about some wacky laws after reading an article called "50 wacky laws in 50 states" or something like that. I only remember the ones that applied to me, but here they are :

In California it is illegal to eat an orange while in a bath tub.

Mom, Dad, younger older sister . . . you've been warned.

In Illinois the law prohibits barefoot dancing and taking a nap on the dance floor.

I hate feet, so this law is okay in my book, and I know my brother will appreciate it too.

In Ohio you must honk your car horn every time you pass another car.

Remember that, beast.

In Michigan a woman may not cut her hair without her husbands permission.

Mom, tell your sisters.

In Nevada it is illegal to kiss a mustached man.

Yes, these are real laws. Now, every time I see a man with a mustache I call the police and report his wife.

I think if I was a man, living in Nevada, and I wanted to break up with a girl (or guy, no judgement) I would tell them about this law, and then grow a mustache.

Hippo Purse

2010-06-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you find something and you can't help but say "OH MY GOD". This was one of those times, but it didn't happen to me . . . at least not directly. It happened to my beastly sister.

When it comes to certain people in your life, you sort of have a radar for certain things. For instance, everyone in my family knows what it means to find a rare Rams (St. Louis, but preferably L.A.) item, or a brown cow, or a penguin, or a beast . . . the list goes on. Well, my beastly sister apparently has a radar for hippo items. And boy did she find a great one.

I received this for Easter a while back, and when I opened it, I also exclaimed "Oh My God!"

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I think the word you're thinking of . . . is AWESOME.

mmmmm

2010-05-31T22:30:00.000-07:00

mmmmmmMONDAY. Well, sort of . . . it's sort of Tuesday . . . I time traveled. Finally fixed my flux capacitor . . . it was on the fritz. Pretty soon I will have never moved from San Diego to San Francisco, which means I will have never moved back to Ventura, and then to Sparks. I think I'll also go back and change my college major.

This past week I've done some things, made some money, spent some money, ate some food, drank way too much caffeine, and done some other things.

It's hard to post every Monday when you want to keep most of your life a secret . . . at least from certain people*. I should probably make my blog private, but I have to many anonymous readers.

* If you think you are one of these certain people, chances are you are not. How can you tell? Let's just say these people would definitely know, if you are just unsure then it's not you.

It must be Monday

2010-05-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

Monday's seem to sneak up on me since I started PoEvMoFoReOfThYe (or something like that). Sometimes I even want to post on a different day of the week, but I resist for fear I might use up all my material for Monday. Then it's Monday and I've forgotten what it was I wanted to post about on said "different days".

I even have a white board in my apartment, and I wrote "blog ideas" on it, so that whenever I get an idea I can write it down. However, this doesn't always work because sometimes I'm in my car, or at work when I think of an idea, then by the time I get home I completely forget to write it down.

So here I am, trying to think of what it was I wanted to blog about and it's slowly coming back to me, so I think I'll talk about that now.

First of all, it's my older younger sister's birthday today so I would like to insert a special shout out to her right now.

Happy Birthday Older Younger Sister!

Secondly, I would like to talk about my bowling league.

I started last Thursday . . .and if I could use one word to describe what my bowling skills have become it would probably be . . . HORRIFIC.

I thought it would be like riding a bike, and in a way it sort of is, but you can't ride as fast for as long, and you definitely can't do some of the tricks you used to be able to do.

Our team is currently known as "Team 7", and it is comprised of myself, one of my super secret job coworkers (we'll call him M), and a couple who I will refer to as R and D.

Myself and M sort of scored the same, D was a little worse, and R is kind of amazing. Apparently his family has been bowling his whole life. He knows more about bowling than me, so obviously he's really good.

As a team we lost all three games, but it was also our first week, while everyone else was on their second week. This is important because it means that everyone else had already established their averages and had been given handicaps to go along with them. We were playing without handicaps, so we lost each game by several hundred pins.

One thing I forgot in my 13 year absence from league bowling is something I find to be really annoying . . . high fiving . . . no, you don't just high five your team members, you high five EV-ERY-ONE. And it isn't necessarily because you got a strike or picked up a spare, sometimes it's just a "good effort" high five. So pretty much after every frame . . . for every person . . . your giving eight different high fives. Is this really necessary?

All in all I am happy to be back in the game, but I need to find the time to practice more.

Thirdly, I made another batch of cupcakes for a different friends birthday. I learned from my previous mistakes and set the oven to 325 degrees. I also added more vegetable oil to the batter. I felt that these cupcakes were ten times better than the previous batch.

Finally, I am currently watching "Who's the Boss", and I must say, this show is terrible, and yet, for some reason, I keep watching it. AAAAANNNND . . . in the opening credits there is a guy named BUD WISER . . . he's some sort of producer. Really? . . .REALLY?

cupcakes

2010-05-17T11:22:00.001-07:00

First things first. It's important that you all know I will be joining a bowling league this summer. It's time I focused on my career.

Now on to my cupcake adventure . . .

Today I forced myself to get out of bed at 8:30 in the morning so I could make cupcakes for my friends birthday.

Those of you who know me well, know I can't cook, and since baking is along the same lines, I can't do that either. But I wanted to make them for my friend so I did what anyone who can't cook or bake would do, I bought a box of cupcake mix.

When I started to make them I pretty much got confused on the first step in the directions. They said " Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees for glass and metal pans, for darkly coated pans, preheat the oven to 325 degrees".

BUT WHAT IF MY PAN IS DARK IN COLOR AND METAL!???

Contrary to the capital letters I just used, I remained calm. "I'll call my mom" I thought . . . "No, my mom is never up this early" . . . "I know! I'll text T! . . . Wait, she's at work" . . . "The beast? . . . Will she even know the answer? . . . WHATEVER, I'll just set the damn thing for 350 degrees."

Okay, crisis averted . . . or at least overlooked.

The second problem occurred in step 2 . . . I couldn't catch a break.

Step 2 : "Blend in large bowl at a low speed until moistened" . . . as in, with a mixer . . . I have no mixer . . . I was surprised I even had a cupcake pan.

Luckily I'm really strong and can whisk my little heart out.

Side note: Whisking a bowl of cake mix should be a machine at the gym . . . it's a good workout.

I feel like if you asked anyone what the most annoying thing about making cupcakes is they would all say the same thing: pouring the batter into the little cups.

These thoughts might go through your head while you're doing so:

"Did I pour too much in that one?"

"Damnit, I got some on the pan!"

"Why is it pouring so fast?"

"Crap, I don't have enough batter for that last cup."

At least that's what went through my head while I was pouring the batter.

I put them in the oven and 20ish minutes later they were done. They looked pretty good. But how did they taste?

When they were cool enough to eat, I had to do a quality check. I decided to eat it without frosting, because . . . well . . . I didn't feel like frosting it.

The first bite was pretty disappointing. It was a little dry.

I don't understand why it was so dry because the box clearly said "Moist Deluxe" . . . liars.

I frosted them anyway, and did another quality check a little later. I thought "perhaps they will taste better with the frosting on them".

They sure did. The frosting covered up the dryness of the cupcake quite well.

Mission accomplished.

Oops

2010-05-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and realized that I forgot to post yesterday.

Am I ashamed of myself? Yes

Am I a huge hypocrite? Yes

Do I feel empty inside? Yes

Do I have a good excuse for what I've done? Maybe

Did anyone try to remind me to post via twitter? No

Did someone else NOT post again? Yes

Does he have a good excuse? Doubtful

Can we pretend today is Monday? You tell me.

Did it snow last night? Yes

Isn't it May though? Sure is.

Well then why is it still so cold? Probably because the world is about to end.

Am I going to talk about my garage sale adventure some more? No, no I don't think so.

Can I change "Post Every Monday For the Rest of the Year" to "Post Once a Week For the Rest of the Year"? Yes, I think I have that kind of power. . . . PoOnWeFoReYe (Poonweeforyee)?

Problem solved? Yes

Garage Sales

2010-05-03T16:35:00.000-07:00

On Saturday I went on my first garage sale expedition. Yes, I've been to a garage sale before, but not like this . . . this time was different. This time I went looking for them. The other garage sales I had been to were just ones that I had stumbled upon . . . basically when they were on my block.

A few of my friends and I met at 7:30 am on Saturday (keep in mind this is the earliest I've had to wake up in like 6 months) and set out looking. Three of us were amateurs, while the fourth one was an expert. She was our leader, she could just sense where they were . . . if she thought we should go left, we went left and so on.

We found some pretty great stuff too, but I won't get into the details of every item purchased . . . at least right now.

I think I'll finish this post next Monday.

Musings

2010-04-26T22:10:00.000-07:00

Dogs - How come whenever someone is walking their dog and I walk past them, they quickly say " Don't worry, he doesn't bite!"

It's not as though I flinch in horror at the sight of their dog or something, they just assume I'm afraid of it. Well I'm sick of it, sick sick sick of it.

Green salad - I overheard a woman order a salad the other day. When she placed her order, she specifically said " I would like a green salad" . . . do salads come in other colors now? Did I not get the memo on this?

Jean shorts - Yeah, they still exist and I don't understand why. Were they ever actually in style?

Pajama Pants - Remember when it was cool to wear your pajamas to school? Well that's over.

Have a safe flight - Why do we say this to people about to fly as if they have some sort of control over how their flight is going to go? What we should say is " I hope your plane doesn't crash".

Water shut down

2010-04-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

Last week I got a letter on my door. It said that the apartment complex was installing a back flow water valve . . . or something like that, and that they would be shutting off the water on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday between 8 am and 4 pm.

"GREAT!", I thought. I normally don't work until 11 am, so this meant that I would have to wake up at 7:30 am just to shower and brush my teeth.

I did this on Tuesday, but then when I was leaving for work at 10:30 am I checked to see if the water was actually off. IT WASN'T!

Those lying bastards.

I had the next day off, and this time when I woke up around 10 am the water actually was off, but only until around 2 pm.

On Thursday, I had to work at 11 am again, but I decided that this time I would take a shower the night before and use a bottle of water for brushing my teeth. However, I didn't have to do that because the water was not actually turned off again.

On Friday I was glad I didn't have to worry about it anymore.

Then, today, I get another letter on my door saying the water will be shut off again on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday between 8am and 4 pm.

I am extremely frustrated.

Brainstorm

2010-04-12T16:06:00.000-07:00

You know how I love to make lists . . .

1.) This morning I went out to my car and discovered someone had broken into it . . . okay so I had left the door unlocked, but still, they went in there when they weren't supposed to . . . but here's the weird part, they didn't take anything. They took off the faceplate for my cd player, they opened my new car charger and threw it somewhere else, they emptied out my wallet ( i know, i know, why was my wallet in there?), but didn't take any of the credit cards . . . it almost looked as though they were searching for something specific, but I just didn't have it. I think they might have taken a pack of gum though . . .

2.) I currently have Wii buying fever. Last week I was in San Diego visiting my sister for Easter. While there I also visited some friends, and one of them had the new Super Mario Brothers game for the Wii. I had been wanting to try it ever since I bought it for my brother for Christmas. So when he asked if I wanted to play I said "HELL YES I DO!" . . . I was very excited. I don't care much for video games, but I love those crazy Italian brothers. We played, and it was everything I had dreamed of and more . . . now I must have a Wii.

3.) Strawberries - who doesn't love them? I helped a friend with a top secret mission on Saturday and there were strawberries involved . . . that's all I can really say about that . . . but strawberries are delicious and I feel sorry for my friend who is allergic to them.

4.) Shake Well - Whenever I buy something that says shake well, I'm always worried that I'm not shaking it well enough. Especially when the bottle or container is filled to the top . . . I mean, there's only so much movement that will happen . . . am I right? Does anyone else feel this way? And why is it always shake well? Why couldn't it be "Shake . . . kind of"? Do companies ever exaggerate how much shaking actually needs to happen because they think it's better to shake it too much than not enough?

5.) Hippos - My oldest sister sent me some more crazy hippo items for Easter. I think this will have to be a separate post though, because you wouldn't believe it if I told you.

6.) My new phone - my new phone is doing better. Right after I posted last Monday on the subject I took it to another T- mobile in the area and they were much more helpful. They gave me a new battery (plus I got to keep my old one) and a new SD card. I haven't had any problems since then. Unfortunately, I did drop my phone right when I got there (before I went inside) and the phone got scratches on it. I'm still pretty upset about that.

7.) Wednesday is my half birthday . . . I will be accepting gifts at this time.

8.) Flight of The Conchords - I've been re-watching all the episodes recently . . . I love this show.

9.) Easter Candy - i've been eating too much of it.

10.) Veggie Delight - try it, it's delightful. ( See what I did there).