BTW this is my Pumpkin

This is my pumpkin and the Pumpkin my BFF did. I know you'll probably think hers is cooler, but don't tell me, it will hurt my feelings.

Mine is the spider.

Yes Please

The title of this post is in no way related to the material you are about to read, but sometimes it's hard coming up with a title for a post.

I have some things to talk about, but they don't really have anything to do with each other.

1.) My birthday was last week. I turned old. Ever since I turned . . . I don't know . . . 18, I stopped looking forward to my birthday. I guess I looked forward to my 21st birthday, but that's about it. I did get some cool things though.

a.) a knife set from my sister A. They are very sharp, and very useful. Thank you.

b.) A Dunder Mifflin company picnic t-shirt, from my beastly "sister". Thanks for paying attention to my blog.

c.) A 16.9 oz Red Bull and a bottle of champagne from my friend E. Thanks buddy.

d.) Fake glittered pumpkins, Baskin Robbins Chapstick, a mini bowling set, pumpkin spice air freshener, pens with weird
dog heads on them, candy, and a 25 dollar gift card to Walmart . . . also from my beastly "sister". Thank You.

e.) A 25 dollar gift card to Starbucks from my mom and dad that will buy me approximately 5 Grande Pumpkin Spice
frappacinos. Thank You! I will think of you while I drink them

f.) My Bff made me a delicious dinner and several hundred cupcakes. Thank you.

2.) I started playing Poker with some friends on Tuesday nights. I haven't won yet, and don't really expect to anytime soon. I'm a horrible gambler and I'm too afraid to bluff.

3.) I gave blood a week and a half ago. The next day I went to the gym and was going to run my usual 2 to 3 miles. After about half a mile I was dying. They tell you not to exercise for the rest of the day after you give blood, but they didn't say it would be a bitch to exercise the next day. So I figured I would be okay the next day . . . but no, it was still hard. Well, it's been a week and a half and I'm still not able to run what I used to . . . which in turn has led me to believe that I am either dying, ooooor I have developed Asthma.

4.) The other night I wore my Dunder Mifflin Company Picnic t-shirt to Poker night, and someone had the nerve to ask me if I knew what it meant. I wanted to slap him across the face. Instead I made a sarcastic remark.

5.) It's fall now, and while I welcome the cooler weather, I'm upset because watermelon, honeydew, and cantaloupe are out of season. They are my favorite fruits. Now I'm forced to eat apples.

6.) I carved a pumpkin on Thursday night. I was looking forward to it as usual, but I've decided that the reason we only carve produce once a year is because it's a pain in the ass. The pumpkin looks good, but it's already starting to rot.

7.) Some fellow bloggers and I have started a new blog about television shows. I suggest you check it out. http://coldopenings.blogspot.com, and yes, I came up with the Title. Enjoy.

Just 34 years ago . . .

Thirty-four years ago today my sister was "born".

When my parents were married, all they wanted to do was start a family. They were young and stupid.

They were also responsible. They waited until my father had finished college and found a decent job. They were almost 24 when they began trying to start a family. They both figured this would be very easy because they were both young and in the prime of their lives. Well, months went by and nothing. They were frustrated. My mother suggested adoption and my father only wanted to make her happy so he reluctantly agreed.

They filled out the papers and figured it would only be a matter of months before they had their new baby. Unfortunately, babies were in high demand, and the supply was low. The adoption agency told them it could be up to 5 years, and in the meantime they should continue trying to conceive.

My mother was heartbroken when she heard this, so my father researched other options.

He found one.

I'm sure you've all heard of the Psychology case where a boy whose . . . well you know . . . were destroyed during a routine circumcision and because of this his parents decided to raise him as a girl?

Psychologists were testing Nature versus Nurture. They believed that if they raised him as a girl, he would turn out to be a perfectly normal female.

Well, apparently they were also testing this with Beasts.

Adult humans were given baby beasts to raise as humans. ( Remember, this was all back in the 70's when everything was a little weird).

My Dad discovered this experiment in the local Pennysaver and told my mom about it. At this point, my mom was willing to do anything. So they filled out the paperwork and on October 6th, 1975 they took my older "sister" home.

The first 6 months were very difficult. My mom would turn her back for just a second and . . . I'll call her M . . . would be out in the backyard trying to hunt and kill gophers. Eventually they had to put bars on all the windows. The doors had to be locked at all times, and her bedroom was always locked from the outside at nighttime.

Over the years, it was constantly difficult. In grade school the teacher caught her several times with Rollie Pollies in her desk. Apparently she like to snack on them.

Luckily as she got older, she became more human like. She even went to college and grad school. Eventually science had progressed enough and she was able to have several plastic surgeries to make her look more human.

As a result of this experiment she studied Psychology in college and now has her PHd. She teaches at a University in Ohio and often talks about this case, but none of her students know that it is actually she who lived it.

By the way, in 1977 my parents were finally able to conceive naturally, and they went on to have 3 healthy, human children.