Over the last few weeks I have sat in front of my computer trying to come up with something to blog about. But nothing happened.
Therefore I've decided to just put down whatever crap comes to mind.
1.) Last night I went and saw the movie Valentines Day . . . it was just as terrible as the actual day itself. I was really looking forward to it because Patrick Dempsey is in it, and I'm sort of in love with him right now. The problem was that there were also 30 other main characters crammed into a two hour time slot. Don't waste your money on this one. (Approximate Patrick Dempsey screen time = 10 minutes . . . maybe only 8).
2.) On Tuesday night I was at WalMart doing some shopping when I passed a mother and her baby. That's not unusual right? WRONG. The mother was pushing her cart, and the baby was crawling alongside her on the floor.
3.) I upgraded my cable box to a DVR box and it lowered my monthly payment. That's right, lowered. Also, there is now a loud buzzing noise coming from my television.
4.) Aside from the Olympics being on where I work, I have not watched them at all. I think I might be subconsciously boycotting them because they are preventing new episodes of "The Office", "Parks and Rec" and "Community" from being on.
5.) Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and although I didn't get ashes put on my forehead I did decide to give up eating at fast food restaurants. I thought about giving up Red Bull, but I have like 5 in my fridge and it would have been IMPOSSIBLE. What did you give up for Lent? ( And don't tell me you gave up giving up stuff, that doesn't count)
6.) I really like yogurt parfaits now.
7.) I really want to learn how to ride a unicycle. Would anyone like to buy me a unicycle?
8.) Mom - I need you to do my taxes.
9.) I have a headache right now, but what else is new. In relation to that, a lot of people say that sometimes they get sick when they work out . . . well what does it mean when you feel sick if you don't work out?
10.) That's about it.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Career Goals
As some of you know, I have a top secret job. You might also know that this Top Secret job has nothing to do with Psychology, the field in which I have a Bachelors Degree.
I have been thinking a lot about what I really want to do with my life, and yesterday after watching the movie "Watchmen", inspiration struck, and I just knew.
I want to be a SuperHero.
I figure it will mostly involve things like this:
(click on the picture to read the fine print)
My superhero name will be "The Heropotamus". I figure I will save living things from a most certain death and then have therapy sessions with them so they can deal with the Post traumatic stress they will most certainly be suffering from .
Saving their lives will be free, but I will charge a competitive rate for each therapy session.
All I have to do now is learn how to fly. This shouldn't be too difficult. I must ask all 6 of my readers to keep this information confidential once I hit the headlines of every major and minor newspaper in every city in the world. Thank you.
I have been thinking a lot about what I really want to do with my life, and yesterday after watching the movie "Watchmen", inspiration struck, and I just knew.
I want to be a SuperHero.
I figure it will mostly involve things like this:
(click on the picture to read the fine print)
My superhero name will be "The Heropotamus". I figure I will save living things from a most certain death and then have therapy sessions with them so they can deal with the Post traumatic stress they will most certainly be suffering from .
Saving their lives will be free, but I will charge a competitive rate for each therapy session.
All I have to do now is learn how to fly. This shouldn't be too difficult. I must ask all 6 of my readers to keep this information confidential once I hit the headlines of every major and minor newspaper in every city in the world. Thank you.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Did I mention
I think I forgot to mention that I was able to get my top secret missions covered over the holidays which in turn enabled me to go home.
I still had to work on Christmas Eve, but was able to leave by 3 in the afternoon.
It's roughly an eight hour drive, so I mentally prepared myself for the horrific amount of boredom I was about to endure.
When I set out on my lonely road trip the sun was really bright. Deadly bright.
The first 100 miles were the worst and most dangerous part of my trip. The lines that divide the lanes were barely visible, and the sun was LITERALLY blinding at times. At one point I could not see anything in front of me for about ten seconds. Meanwhile cars were flying past me, and I didn't understand why they weren't having the same problem. During that ten seconds my legs became numb with fear, and I'm pretty sure any car that may have been behind me was furious with my driving, because I was probably only going about 30 miles per hour.
Finally, I pulled over for a bathroom break. It had already been 2 hours and I just wanted the sun to go down.
After that first 100 miles/ 2 hours, the next two hours seemed easy. I could see the road, the speed limit was 70 miles an hour, and I didn't have to pee.
About five and a half hours in I pulled over to get something to eat at Taco Bell. I was pretty tired and still had about three hours to go.
Then something weird happened. I ordered my food and was given the number 311. I sat down to wait when I realized that 311 was the band that was currently playing on the radio. If that's not weird I don't know what is.
After I ate I got some gas and got back on the road. Even though I had been driving for 5 and a half hours, I still had about 3 hours to go. Why? Because I drive the speed limit I guess.
I thought that at this point I would want to kill myself . . . mostly because the last time I made the drive I was extrememly over it after four hours.
But I guess I got a second wind because it was the most fun I've ever had driving alone.
Do you want to know my secret?
Step 1 : The process all starts 6 months beforehand when you stop listening to any cd's you have in your car. If you normally just hook up your ipod to your cd player stop listening to that. Listen to the radio or don't listen to anything . . . for at least 6 months. This is key.
Step 2: Start your long voyage out with a few Red Bulls. Two to three should do it.
Step 3: At some point purchase a water bottle and drink all of it. Do not throw out the water bottle!
Step 4: Put in a cd without looking at what it is, if you take the time to think about what you want to listen to it won't work.
Step 5: Use the empty water bottle as if it were a microphone and sing at the top of your lungs.
Step 6: When the first CD is over put in another one without looking and put the one you already listened to aside so you don't listen to it again. Continue to change the CD's as soon as they are over. By the time you're almost home, you'll be hoping you have time for one more song. Trust me.
This is sort of what it will look like:
Bonus points if you can guess which song I'm singing in this photograph.
I still had to work on Christmas Eve, but was able to leave by 3 in the afternoon.
It's roughly an eight hour drive, so I mentally prepared myself for the horrific amount of boredom I was about to endure.
When I set out on my lonely road trip the sun was really bright. Deadly bright.
The first 100 miles were the worst and most dangerous part of my trip. The lines that divide the lanes were barely visible, and the sun was LITERALLY blinding at times. At one point I could not see anything in front of me for about ten seconds. Meanwhile cars were flying past me, and I didn't understand why they weren't having the same problem. During that ten seconds my legs became numb with fear, and I'm pretty sure any car that may have been behind me was furious with my driving, because I was probably only going about 30 miles per hour.
Finally, I pulled over for a bathroom break. It had already been 2 hours and I just wanted the sun to go down.
After that first 100 miles/ 2 hours, the next two hours seemed easy. I could see the road, the speed limit was 70 miles an hour, and I didn't have to pee.
About five and a half hours in I pulled over to get something to eat at Taco Bell. I was pretty tired and still had about three hours to go.
Then something weird happened. I ordered my food and was given the number 311. I sat down to wait when I realized that 311 was the band that was currently playing on the radio. If that's not weird I don't know what is.
After I ate I got some gas and got back on the road. Even though I had been driving for 5 and a half hours, I still had about 3 hours to go. Why? Because I drive the speed limit I guess.
I thought that at this point I would want to kill myself . . . mostly because the last time I made the drive I was extrememly over it after four hours.
But I guess I got a second wind because it was the most fun I've ever had driving alone.
Do you want to know my secret?
Step 1 : The process all starts 6 months beforehand when you stop listening to any cd's you have in your car. If you normally just hook up your ipod to your cd player stop listening to that. Listen to the radio or don't listen to anything . . . for at least 6 months. This is key.
Step 2: Start your long voyage out with a few Red Bulls. Two to three should do it.
Step 3: At some point purchase a water bottle and drink all of it. Do not throw out the water bottle!
Step 4: Put in a cd without looking at what it is, if you take the time to think about what you want to listen to it won't work.
Step 5: Use the empty water bottle as if it were a microphone and sing at the top of your lungs.
Step 6: When the first CD is over put in another one without looking and put the one you already listened to aside so you don't listen to it again. Continue to change the CD's as soon as they are over. By the time you're almost home, you'll be hoping you have time for one more song. Trust me.
This is sort of what it will look like:
Bonus points if you can guess which song I'm singing in this photograph.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
My First Snowman
The other day my friend and I built a snowman. It was the first time I had ever made one and it came out . . . well . . . AMAZING.
I haven't really mastered the concept of "start with a ball and then roll it", so that's where my friend came in, but I made the base, and helped even everything out.
I haven't named him yet, although I'm thinking "One Eye" suits him, because since this picture was taken 2 of his buttons, his nose, and one of his eyes have fallen out.
I still think he's beautiful though.
I haven't really mastered the concept of "start with a ball and then roll it", so that's where my friend came in, but I made the base, and helped even everything out.
I haven't named him yet, although I'm thinking "One Eye" suits him, because since this picture was taken 2 of his buttons, his nose, and one of his eyes have fallen out.
I still think he's beautiful though.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Christmas is Cancelled
Instead of calling people I figured I'd just post about my Christmas plans status.
I got my work schedule yesterday and it goes a little something like this:
Place of business - Hey Madelyn, I know your from SoCal and you would probably like to go home around Christmas, but guess what? You Can't! Muahahahaha! Not only do you have to work, but you have to work a double on Christmas Eve! Muahahahah. And good luck getting rid of any of your shifts, because the chances of someone helping you out are about as good as Kelsey Grammar having another hit show. Muahahahah! Oh, and even if you drove all night after your second shift on Christmas Eve, you still have to be back by 4 on the 26th. Muahahahaha!
I hate my life.
I got my work schedule yesterday and it goes a little something like this:
Place of business - Hey Madelyn, I know your from SoCal and you would probably like to go home around Christmas, but guess what? You Can't! Muahahahaha! Not only do you have to work, but you have to work a double on Christmas Eve! Muahahahah. And good luck getting rid of any of your shifts, because the chances of someone helping you out are about as good as Kelsey Grammar having another hit show. Muahahahah! Oh, and even if you drove all night after your second shift on Christmas Eve, you still have to be back by 4 on the 26th. Muahahahaha!
I hate my life.
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