Wednesday, March 13, 2013

13

It's no secret that when I was 13 I had a huge crush on Peter Scolari. I don't talk about it much anymore, but I did and it's weird to think about now.

The year was 1999. Do you remember it? I had an email address and dial up at my house. My time on the computer was much more limited back then, my family only had one computer for 5 people, but the time I did have was spent in Newhart chat rooms, absorbing any and every detail of Peter Scolari I could find.

I had just started high school and I used to day dream about him knocking on my first period (algebra [worst class ever to have at 8am, no wonder I barely passed - the daydreaming probably didn't help]) door and asking for me (he would know who I was because of the dozens of fan letters I had sent him).

Nick at night was a big part of my life. I watched The Mary Tyler Moore show, Rhoda, Taxi and The Dick Van Dyke Show (What?!). Sundays were the best. Instant Gratification Sunday they called it, because instead of just one episode, they would show two of each. TWO WHOLE episodes! Boy if they could see us now. I've watched 6 seasons of Malcolm in the Middle in the last two weeks.

But watching Nick at Night wasn't about those other shows, they were merely entertaining distractions to pass the time before Newhart came on.

Ahhhhh Newhart. The highlight of my day. (I wasn't very popular, who knows why.) Twenty-five minutes (an hour on Sundays) of watching Peter Scolari play Michael Harris, snobby producer of Dick Louden's low rated television show. Every scene without him was basically torturous wondering of when he was going to come in.

Over the next year my obsession grew. I had to see everything he was in . . . my selection was limited and there was no "Instant streaming" available yet. I had to tape, that's right TAPE the shows he had guest appearances in . . . which means I had to do research to find out what these shows were and when they would be airing. It was hard work, it may have effected my grades.

Ever heard or seen of a movie called Ticks? I didn't think so. I've probably seen it two or three times. It would have been more, but the giant Ticks really grossed me out.

Yes, that was a crazy time in my life. I once made my brother drive me to Ojai (a nearby city, where celebrities were known to live because of it's close proximity to LA as well as it's small, pretentious population) because he mentioned having a friend who lived there and saw him once at her school. The so called sighting had happened years earlier, but I didn't care, there was a slight possibility I would see him and that's all that mattered. I didn't see him that day, but I had found out what his address had been and my brother took a picture of me in front of his [former] house.

Maybe I'm revealing too much.

The point is, I was crazy in love with him. So much so, that I bought a TV Guide from April 11 - 17th, 1987 on Ebay simply because the cast of Newhart was on the cover. Let me rephrase that, CARICATURES of the cast are on the front cover. I must've paid 20 dollars for it, 33 times it's original value (60 cents). You may think that's ridiculous, but what's more ridiculous is that I was in a bidding war with someone for it.



I came across that TV Guide today (I will never get rid of it), which is what compelled me to think about that crazy time in my life.

Don't worry, this story has a happy ending. I finally did meet Peter Scolari one day, but I think I'll tell that tale another day.

I would now like to impress your socks off with this video of Declan the Adorable! Watch as he catches these balls at only 6 months of age!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

What the P!?

A break down of my nights:

11:05 - Get home from work, go pee.

11:07 - Brush my teeth.

11:10 - Change into my PJ's, get into bed.

11:15 - Watch something on Netflix, usually a 22 minute sitcom.

11:38 - Feeling sleepy, but also like I have to pee. So I go pee.

11:45 - Wide awake again after walking to the bathroom, watch another episode of whatever I was watching.

12:07 - Feeling sleepy again, but guess what? I need to pee.

12:10 - Watch another episode.

12:32 - Go pee again.

12:35 - Another episode.

12:57 - Go pee.

1:00 - Go to sleep.

2:30 - Wake up. Have to pee. I'm also extremely thirsty at this point, but I resist in order to avoid more peeing.

2:33 - Go back to sleep.

4:30 - Wake up again, have to pee. How is this possible?! I've dehydrated myself to avoid this.

4:33 - Go back to sleep.

9:30 - Wake up feeling hung over from lack of water. Have to pee.

EvERy Night.



He's so lucky he still gets to wear diapers. 

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Scott and Scott

The reviews are in -








"Life of Pi" was a real snooze fest. 

Declan Scott said, "The lack of Elmo was disappointing" and "It gave me the best nap on my Mommy's lap I've ever had." 

Mommy Scott declined to comment.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Spitballing



Some get worn out easier than others.