Monday, March 29, 2010

Power, Balance, Performance Technology

A few weeks ago I was working, at my top secret place of work, when I noticed a fellow top secret agent wearing a bracelet that looks like this :



I asked him what it was assuming that it was just another rubber bracelet supporting some meaningful cause. I was wrong.

He told me it was a bracelet that uses frequencies found in nature to react positively with your bodies energy field.

[To be more specific, this is what the back of the box says: Performance Technology is a mylar hologram that is embedded with a range of frequencies found in nature that react positively with your body's energy field. It has been shown to improve balance, flexibility and strength as well as contributing to an overall sense of well being among it's users.]

I know what you're thinking, "Bullsh*t" right? That's what I thought too.

Then he did a demonstration for me. He told me to stand with my arms out, while standing on just my left leg. Then he said he was going to push down on my right arm as hard as he could and that he wanted me to resist. ( By the way, my coworker is like 6' 5") It didn't take much for me to fall over. (And when I say fall over I mean put my other leg down and kind of lean a lot closer to the ground . . . I just want it to be clear that this guy wasn't pushing me onto the ground.)

THEN he told me to put on his bracelet, and he did the same thing again. But this time it wasn't as easy for him to make me fall over . . . I still did, because I mean, this guy is 6'5", and I'm only 5'4", but it was definitely more difficult.

After that I had to have one of these "magic" bracelets. So I was in luck when he told me his brother sold them.

Perhaps you still think they don't really work, and that's understandable. But several people have since asked him about the bracelet, and every time he performs the demonstration on them they are all amazed.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Real Quick

I'm not trying to be racist, because really, I could care less what your background is or where your ancestors are from.

Not that I want to become good friends with serial killers or even one-time murderers.

BUT, if you are using letters that aren't from this alphabet: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, then please don't comment on my blog. Because seeing your comment isn't going to give me any sort of desire whatsoever to go look at your blog, and more importantly, I CAN'T EVEN READ WHAT YOU WROTE!

I realize the people I am trying to get this message to might not understand what this particular post says, but at the same time, I believe that other countries, specifically the one I am targeting, are more likely to speak english than Americans are to speak another language.

Thank You for your time.

Monday, March 22, 2010

PoEvMoFoThReOfThYe

Today is the first official Monday of PoEvMoFoThReOfThYe. What is PoEvMoFoThReOfThYe, you ask?

Let me explain.

About a week ago . . . 9 days, if you want to get specific . . . a certain somebody posted a horrifying graph on his blog. Basically it showed how little he had blogged in the past few months . . . and every month, aside from November (NaBloPoMo) for that matter.

So I, being the genius that I am, came up with a solution. The Solution was PoEvMoFoThReOfThYe, or Post Every Monday For The Rest Of The Year.

He quickly agreed (with the persuasion of one of my amazing t-shirts), that it was a GREAT idea! Although, he only promised to post every Monday to the best of his ability. However, if he fails this mission, no custom made t-shirt will be awarded.

So stay tuned every Monday for a new post from both me and Cofo!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

There's nothing better

There's nothing better than getting an unexpected package, am I right?

Scenario: You're having a bad day because maybe you went into work, only to be sent home an hour later. Somehow, during that hour at work you managed to Ef up at least once, not to mention it's an Irish Holiday, and god forbid you don't wear green somewhere on your entirely black uniform.

And maybe you're day wouldn't have been so bad, but 3 weeks ago you gave up caffeine and you still really miss it.

But then you get home, walk to your door, fumble with your keys looking for the right one and while doing this you see a package at your doorstep!

Your day has just improved 100%.

Today I got a package from my sister. Clarification . . .my OLDEST sister (not to be confused with my younger older sister*).

Before I show you the contents of this package I think a little back story might be necessary.

A few years ago my entire immediate family was spending Christmas at my younger older sisters house in San Diego. During this time my oldest sister had plugged her ipod in and was playing Christmas music.

Sometimes specific moments in your life really stand out, everybody knows that, this was one of those moments.

A song on her play list came on, and if you know me really well, you probably already know what this song is because I have sang it for you at one point or another.

The song was " I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" by Gayla Peevey.

After one listen I fell in love with the song. The following year for Christmas I figured I had made it clear how much I loved this song, but apparently I was wrong. My parents only remembered that my oldest sister was the one that had the song on her ipod and therefore she got all the cool hippo things.

Being a college student who was majoring in Psychology I know how important it is to communicate your feelings of anger**, so I openly expressed my feelings of discontent. I said "Where's all my cool hippo stuff, i love that song too".

When the next Christmas came I was sure I would get some cool hippo stuff. I did. But not as much as my oldest sister did. My discontent was heard once again.

Which brings us to last Christmas when I finally got the motherload. An entire box FULL of hippo related items from my oldest sister. Unfortunately my oldest sister wasn't there to see the joy on my face, but let it be known how great I thought all those gifts were.

Okay, so now it is today and I just found a package at my doorstep.

Excited as a little kid on Christmas, I anxiously opened the package. This was the first thing I saw:



At first I was a little confused until I saw this:



Maybe it's a little unclear, because it's a picture taken of another picture, but that is me and my sisters. I'm a pumpkin, my younger older sister is a bunny, and my oldest sister ( the one who sent the package) is the care bear.

The next thing I saw was even more awesome:



In case you can't tell, thats a ceramic hippopotamus with it's mouth wide open. Inside it's mouth is a luffa. Jealous? I would be if I were you too.

My next favorite item would have to be this:



That's right. A hippo beanie baby!

Followed by this :



A HIPPO TEENIE BABY! Could it get any better?!?!

YES, YES IT COULD!



"Hippos Go Berserk" is an amazing read with a surprise ending. It also makes a wonderful addition to my collection of hippopotamus books. There are currently only two ( the first one being "But Not the Hippopotamus"), but they are both great.

Finally, there were these:



A rubber hippo, as well as a rubber rhino. Soon I will be able to make an entire tiny rubber zoo.

I also got some bowling related stickers that are equally as awesome as everything else that came in the box, however, they do not photograph well.

In conclusion I would like to say Thank you to my oldest sister for making this crappy day 100 times better.

* My younger older sister is older than me, but younger than my oldest sister.

** Typically I am truly horrible at communicating my feelings, but it doesn't mean I don't understand that it's important

Monday, March 15, 2010

My Bucket List

The other day I was watching a movie, (no, not "The Bucket List" although I have seen that movie and that's why I've titled this post "my Bucket List") and in this movie there was a scene with a man milking a cow. At that moment I thought to myself " I want to milk a cow someday", so here I am, creating a list of things I'd like to do someday.

1.) Milk a cow

2.) Pet a penguin

3.) own a big ass trampoline

4.) meet Steve Carell

5.) See my brother and his fiance get married

6.) Make pudding from scratch ( the kind that has the skin on it . . . I've heard good things about pudding skin)

7.) Get one of those so called "Real" jobs

8.) figure out how to make the best pancakes ever, so that after people eat them they say "Those are the best damn pancakes I've ever had, and I used to live with Aunt Jemima!"

9.) Run a marathon . . . or at least a half marathon . . . okay maybe just a 5k.

10.) Bowl a perfect game.

That's it for now, but I'm still pretty young so I'll probably be adding to the list as time goes on.


On a different note, I still haven't had a red bull ( I don't know exactly how many days it's been, but it's been a while), but I did smell one the other night, and it was very hard to resist.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

This is mostly for the birds

- I gave up all caffeine about 10 days ago. I sleep better, but have less energy during the day.

- I tried to give blood today, and for the second time in the last two months I was turned away. I think I'm going to start eating steak everday for breakfast , lunch and dinner.

- On the outside of my apartment there is like a vent or something . . . well . . .



- . . . apparently the local birds think this is an excellent place to live . . . it's not that I hate birds or anything, but they can be quite noisy at times.