Monday, September 28, 2009

No interesting material required

It seems that every blog I follow had a new post today. I feel it's a sign that I too, must post. Do I have anything interesting to say? No, not at all. So I'll just take you through my day. Prepare to be bored.

9:30 am - Woke up without the help of an alarm clock. Realized I didn't have to be awake yet, went back to sleep.

10 am - Alarm clock went off, I hit the snooze.

10:05 am - Really tired but can't stop thinking that any minute my alarm is going to go off again and I will have to wake up and get ready for work. So I just get up.

10:06 am - Brush my teeth.

10:09 am - Turn shower on, then proceed to take shower.

10:19 am - get dressed, brush hair, lotion up.

10:25 - check e-mail, facebook, twitter . . . the usual.

10:35 - Leave apartment, lock door, walk down to car, start car, leave parking lot, etcetera.

10:40 am - Stop at 7 11 for much needed caffeinated beverage.

10:42 am - Walk to counter to purchase caffeinated beverage, girl behind counter annoys me insisting that I was just there purchasing the exact same drink. I use my bachelors degree in Psychology to assess that she is crazy. She keeps talking, her coworker gets involved. I think to myself "please just take my money and give me my change so I can go." Eventually this happens. Leave extremely annoyed but excited about my caffeinated beverage.

10:45 am - Drive to work.

11:03 am - Enter building I work in, still feeling tired, and wondering once again if there was actually any caffeine in my so called "caffeinated beverage".

11:06 am - Steal Dear Abby and Word Jumble from place of businesses Newspaper.

11:08 am - Skim Dear Abby for interesting problem. No luck, proceed to solve word Jumble.

11:10 - Word Jumble solved. Yes, I am a genius.

11:15 - Begin work.

Unfortunately, I cannot go into detail about my work day, sworn to secrecy.

2:45 pm - Finish work day. Drive home.

3:15 pm - Eat lunch.

3:30 pm - Check e-mail, facebook, twitter.

4:00 pm - Fall asleep from doing exhausting top secret work for three hours.

6:30 pm - Get ready for gym.

6:45 pm - Leave for gym. Wave to lovely old lady who lives next door to me and often sits outside with what I can only assume is her bff and talks.

7:00 pm - Arrive at gym, walk to treadmill. Adjust my shoes, retie them, strap on ipod, turn on music and run 2 miles.

7:30 pm - Begin weight lifting portion of gym time. Sculpt my legs to perfection, conveniently forget to stretch, and leave gym.

8:00 pm - Drive to Walmart to buy some food.

What I purchased at Walmart : Ice, Starbucks Frappucinos, toothpicks, 2 red bell peppers, 2 onions, 1 box multigrain farfalle pasta, 1 package gum, mushrooms, plastic cups (red), 1 box twinkies, 1 box hostess cupcakes.

No, I'm not proud of those last two things . . . But DAMNIT there was candy everywhere because of halloween, I was only born with so much will power.

8:30 pm - Drive home.

8:40 pm - Arrive home. Struggle to carry all grocery bags up at once to avoid second trip. Look for old ladies, but they must have gone inside.

8:45 pm - Put groceries away, wash dishes.

9:00 pm - Take another shower.

9:10 pm - Cook dinner.

9:30 pm - Eat delicious dinner while watching "How I Met Your Mother" online.

10:00 pm - Fight urge to eat entire box of hostess cupcakes and twinkies. Instead, have one of each.

10:15 pm - Read the blogs I follow . . . surprised to see that all of them have posted today. Decide to come up with my own post, no matter how boring it is.

10:30 - Begin writing post, and trying to recall events of the day.

11:29 - Finish post, realizing how boring my day was.

Monday, September 21, 2009

3 truths and a lie

Yup, time for another post of THREE TRUTHS AND A LIE. Let's get started shall we?

1.) Lately I've been feeling extremely lethargic both at work and at home. My face has also been twitching, and sometimes when I close my eyes it seems as though the room is spinning (with no alcohol involved). At first I thought it might just be anemia, but now, after watching hours on end of Grey's Anatomy, I am convinced I have a brain tumor.

2.) Three weeks ago I joined a gym. I've been trying really hard to eat healthy lately and have come to realize that fruits and vegetables are not only expensive, but you can't buy them in bulk. It's been a huge pain in the ass, and I'm losing a battle against candy. (hmmm, that was kind of three things in one wasn't it? . . . oh well, they're either all true, or all false, you decide)

3.) Recently I was in a car accident and my face now looks like this. I'm sorry I didn't call anybody, but I'm in a lot of pain.



4.) Last but not least, I gave up Red Bull about 2 weeks ago, unfortunately I bought one today. In fact i bought 2 (it was 2 for $5, how could I resist). I don't regret it though, not for one second.


Okay, I think it's pretty obvious which one is the lie, so there will be no prize this time. Good luck, not that you need it.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wants/Needs/Haves

WANTS:

1.) I WANT a Dunder Mifflin Scranton shirt. The red one from the company picnic episode. Also known as last seasons finale.

2.) I WANT bugs, spiders, moths, wasps etc. to stay the hell away from me at all times.

3.) I WANT a lifetime supply of Red Bull.

4.) I WANT to be able to wear scrubs to work without actually working in a hospital.

5.) I WANT to eat candy all day without getting cavities or gaining weight.

NEEDS:

1.) I NEED medical insurance.

2.) I NEED to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life.

3.) I NEED 1 billion dollars . . . in order to NOT need number 2's need.

4.) I NEED two new front tires for my car. Which would be simple if I had number 3.

5.) I NEED someone to find a cure for headaches.

HAVES:

1.) I HAVE a very entertaining blog.

2.) I HAVE a Steve Carell bobble head. Priceless? Yes, yes it is.

3.) I HAVEa big bag of candy that I really WANT to eat right now, but I NEED to not eat all of it. (see what I did there)

4.) I HAVE a thick red rubber band around my wrist that I'm pretending is for a cause, but is actually from around a head of cabbage.

5.) I HAVE to come up with something better than this to post.


But I won't.

Note: All these Wants/Needs/Haves are subject to change at any time without any notice and without any reason.