The things you learn when driving almost cross country

Yesterday, I arrived at my brothers (now also my) apartment, after an 1860 mile drive from Sparks, Nevada to Lisle, Illinois. During that time I learned several things. I will now share those things with you in order to prepare you for a potential road trip in your future.

1. Starting an 1800 mile drive after approximately 3 hours of sleep is never a good idea. This combined with the fact that you just started your "lady time" is a recipe for disaster.

2. Trying to drive 75 miles per hour after never driving faster than 65 and usually only driving 55 mph (for the last 2 years anyway) is much more difficult than you would imagine. The reverse is also true.

3. Most of Nevada and Utah should just be declared a wasteland . . . I'd throw Wyoming and Nebraska in there too, but they're prettier so I'll leave them out of this.

4. Utah is the worst! I'm pretty sure it just used to be named Tah, but people so frequently said "F*** You Tah!" that eventually, everybody just thought it was named Utah.

5. High winds combined with several nearby salt lakes also contribute to the recipe mentioned in number 1. I have never been more scared in my life . . . including the time I drove over Donner Pass in a blizzard.

6. Road construction in other states isn't taken nearly as seriously as it is in Nevada.*

7. Half a box of cheese-its can be a meal, and you don't have to pull over to eat it.

8. Road kill happens far more than you could ever imagine. If you've ever seen roadkill and it was just a small animal that was all in one piece, consider yourself lucky . . . lucky that you didn't just see it's body, then 50 feet later, it's head . . . lucky that you didn't see a dark red color on the road and think "why did they paint this part of the road dark red, and what are all those chunks?", only to realize 10 seconds later what you were actually just looking at.

9. A good audiobook** is way more entertaining than even your bestest most favorite music. (Thanks TR!)

10. Semi's often think they are regular cars that have the right to pass other semis when driving on a 2 lane highway.

11. When you're really tired because you've been driving for 8 hours and still have eight more to go, put on a song you know the words to and sing it like you're giving a live performance.

12. Kum and go is an acceptable name for a gas station/ mini mart in several states.

13. The leading cause of bug death is head on windshield collisions. There were at least 1,000 casualties on my car alone.

14. Cleaning dead bugs off your window takes more than a little wiper fluid and a swipe of the wiper blades.

15. Some people enjoy watching the Glympse*** you sent them, while others couldn't care less.

16. The only thing worse than passing a cattle ranch, is being trapped behind a truck of cattle because there's road construction, and the highway has been reduced to one lane.

17. No matter what, the last 40 miles is more grueling than any other part of your trip . . . including the first part of Utah.


And that is my ride in a nutshell. I would like to give a special thanks to some people that made the ride a little easier.

1. My friend T.R.D. who burned me about 20 cd's so I wouldn't just be listening to all my old crap.

2. My former roommate S.P.R. who gave me all the ingredients for a Picklet (Patent Pending), as well as cookies and a gift card to subway.

3. My friend T.R. who gave me a bunch of candy and a gift card so I could buy the audiobook I was too cheap to buy on my own.

4. My sister A.S. who sent me frequent text messages updating me on my current location and letting me know how much farther I had to go.

5. My parents, for helping me get a hotel room the first night, when I couldn't figure out the Priceline application.

6. And finally, my brother and his fiancee, for letting me come live with them in the first place.

THANK YOU!

* In Nevada there's a part of the 395 that has a reduced speed limit of 55, this is due to road construction that has been going on for about a year and a half now. I rarely see any actual construction going on, yet the speed limit stays. In all the road construction I went through on my trip, the construction was usually very apparent and much scarier . . . yet the lowest speed limit was 65.

** The audiobook was Bossy Pants by Tina Fey, in case you were wondering, and it was pretty much the most perfect book I could have chosen for this particular trip.

*** Glympse is an application you can download on your phone. When used, you can send people a "Glympse" and they can track your progress. This helps people know when something might be wrong, and also gives them a better approximation of when exactly you will be arriving. It was so accurate in fact, that on my final day, my brother was able to find me on the freeway after he got off work, so that I could follow him home. Just to be clear, he wasn't already driving and was like "oh hey, Madelyn's two lanes over" . . . he had to pull over (only for about a minute though) and wait for me.