Only 2 days 'til the big day!

Here we are again, another year gone by so quickly. I remember when I used to be excited about Christmas 3 weeks beforehand, but now, it's so much different. It all became so complicated when I got my first job 9 years ago. I miss the old days when all I was worried about was getting gifts that I liked. Now, it's all about "I hope this person likes this" and "How much have I spent so far?"

Don't get me wrong I'm still looking forward to it, but now it's mostly because I get to see my family. We all live in different cities now, so we rarely see each other. Not to mention I never seem to get that Sunday phone call anymore.

Anywho, today I leave for Ventura at 2:30ish . . . which is approximately one hour and thirty-five minutes away. I'm not looking forward to the six or seven hour drive, but on the bright side I'm not actually the one driving. Hopefully I will fall asleep for most of it. I'm really tired because I forced myself to get out of bed at 10 am this morning. I know, my life is rough. The worst part is, I recently began struggling to get out of bed at 3pm. I don't know what's wrong with me.

3 truths and a lie

I read a post by a fellow blogger who wrote three true things about himself, and one lie. Then he had his readers guess which one was the lie. I haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd give it a go. Since most of you who read this know me pretty well, I will be taking things that happened to me in the last 2 weeks.

1.) I went to Target about a week ago seeking small sports balls. I am sort of in love with them now. While I was there I bought a size 1 soccer ball, and a very small football. I bet you're thinking that I played with them once and now they just sit there. Well, YOU'RE WRONG! They are TONS of fun and me and my roommates play fun games with them when we are bored.

2.) For Thanksgiving I drove to Reno, Nevada as most of you may know. On my way there I was unfortunate enough to see a dead deer on the side of the freeway. It was very very sad.

3.) Last week I decided that I must be friends with Steve Carell. I knew in my heart that it wasn't going to happen by chance, if I wanted it I was going to have to go after it, so what did I do? I'll tell you what I did. I wrote him a letter telling him why I would make a good friend. I think it will work, but only time will tell. Oh . . . by the way, if we do become good friends I will probably end up spending the Holidays at his house from now on.

4.) Finally, I bought Christmas cards about 2 weeks ago. I'm not writing a letter that will be enclosed in every one, but I am writing a personal message to all those who will be lucky enough to receive one. However, I keep procrastinating because I can't think of anything to write.

Ok, there you are. Leave me a comment telling me which one you think isn't true and why you think it isn't true. Telling me why is very important, I want to see how well you think you know me. Also, my roommates cannot guess because they probably know which one it is.

Good luck! . . . oh and the winner will get a surprise! If more than one person gets it right then it will be the first one who answered correctly.

My biggest pet peeve of all

"Why do you look so upset?"

"Turn that frown upside down."

"How come you never smile?"

"WHY SOOOO SERIOUS!?!"

I probably hear variations of those phrases/ questions about a hundred times a day from my co-workers. This has been going on for as long as I can remember. People constantly tell me I need to smile, or that I look really sad. I'm sooooooooooo effing (excuse my language) sick of it.

I don't know how to respond anymore. The other day somebody said it, and I told that person I was really sensitive about it. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm not a big smiler. My face looks sad because of genetics! If you've ever met my dad, you would know that he looks kind of pissed all the time. Also he looks like a turtle . . . and so does my Grandpa! (no offense dad).

Maybe from now on I should just tell people that my dog died. Sure, they'll soon start to wonder why I have so many dogs, and why they keep dying . . . but maybe eventually they will just stop asking me. . . . which is all I really want.

I know my sister gets the same question all the time too ( cough . . . genetics . . . cough) and she tells people she just has a very neutral face. I tried that for a while, but people would always say "no, it doesn't look neutral . . . it looks sad". I've also tried telling people that one day I frowned for eight hours and my face just got stuck that way. They just laugh and say "no really, what's wrong?"

Well here I am telling you what exactly is wrong. Are you ready for the answer because I really only want to tell you once. Here we GO . . . . .

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

My interview with Santa Clause

As some of you may remember I met the Easter Bunny last Easter. If you don't remember, just know that he came to me for career advice and has considered me his mentor ever since.

Well, as it turns out he is very good friends with Santa Clause, so he was nice enough to give me the big mans phone number.

At first Santa was none to thrilled that I called him. He said he was a busy man, especially with Christmas only being two months away. He told me he had a long list to get through and that he didn't have time for fans calling him up and interrupting his work.

I was shocked at some of the language he used as he was telling me all of this. I guess Santa gets very stressed out.

Once I could get a word in edge wise, I told him that I was good friends with the Easter Bunny. After hearing this he quickly apologized and said if I was a friend of the Easter Bunny ( AKA Fred) than I was a friend of his. Apparently, Fred helped him deliver presents the year before after he got way behind because some cheap bastards left out bad milk causing him to spend an hour with his head over the toilet . . . if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the reason I called Santa was because I needed his help. My siblings and I had decided to participate in "Operation Secret Santa 2008" and I wanted to make sure we would all be getting letters with detailed instructions of the rules and regulations. He said that he would put me on the list, but also asked me if I could take over as president of the board of directors for the project. Apparently the elf that usually runs that program received a job offer from "Keebler". It was an offer he couldn't refuse so he took it.

I was hesitant at first. I wasn't sure if I could just pick up and go to the North Pole for two months. Plus I have another job.

Santa assured me that he would work with my schedule, and that I didn't need to move to the North Pole because everything was done over the internet. He did however say he couldn't pay me due to the poor economic situation, but it would definitely look good on my resume.

I was happy to take the job. If I owe anybody anything it's Santa Clause. . . . I did however ask him for one thing . . . an exclusive interview.

He agreed, in fact he said he would love to do it. He was tired of all the rumors that were circulating about him. He wanted people to know the truth! He felt he could trust me to make sure none of his words were taken out of context.

So a few days ago I sat down with Santa Clause (via AOL instant messenger) and asked him the following questions.

Me :Thank you for joining me today Santa, lets get right to it! A lot of people out there give you a hard time because you only work one day a year, but I always tell them there is probably a lot of preparation involved. Is that true, or do you just work the one day?

Santa: Of course there's a lot of preparation involved! It's not all Milk and cookies over here! Sure, the elves do their fair share of the work, but they have to be managed. I have to make sure they all take their breaks on time, that they aren't stealing any of the toys they make . . . people see movies and they think these elves are just happy go lucky all the time, but there are problem employee's here, just like there are at any job. There is a lot of paperwork involved. I am also head of quality control, making sure the toys were not poorly made.

Not to mention the list I have to get through . . . TWICE! I don't even get the list until October 15th. Most people don't realize that they can be naughty from October 15th all the way until December 31st and I would never know about it.

Me: Does Rudolph's nose really give off enough light so you can see where you're going?

Santa: Well you have to remember, I only use him in foggy area's (Like San Francisco and Daly City), and you of all people should know that too much light in the fog can be a bad thing. So yes, his nose gives off the perfect amount of light.

Me: During my lifetime there have been a lot of questions about the whole "sliding down chimneys" as way of entrance. Is that really how you get into houses? What if they don't have a Chimney?

Santa: That's a funny story actually. One night . . . back in 1931 I think it was . . . I couldn't find my magic key, which works on every door in the world. I'm sure you can understand . . . people lose their keys sometimes you know? So anyway, I couldn't find it, but I couldn't just NOT give people their gifts. So I tried several things before actually resorting to the chimney.

I checked doors to see if they were unlocked, I tried going in through windows, I even tried just knocking . . . but nobody wants to answer their door in the middle of the night. Finally, I saw the chimney. . . and it dawned on me, maybe I could squeeze my way down there. Unfortunately, I could only get into the houses that had chimneys that year. Most people attribute the lack of gifts to the depression, but really, I had just misplaced my key. Long story short, some people saw me and took pictures. Now everyone thinks that is how I always get into every house.

Me: Wow, that is quite a story. Speaking of people seeing you . . . I used to wait up for hours hoping to run into you by the tree, but it never happened, I always fell asleep. Do you ever accidentally run into people?

Santa: Of course I do. Sometimes when I know people are still awake I have to wait on the roof for a while before landing on their front lawn. Occasionally I get lucky and they finally go to bed, but other times I just go in, do what I need to do, and before I leave I say something like, "You think I would leave you more gifts . . . I mean, it is YOUR dream." It works like 90% of the time. The other 10% of people that don't buy it tell their friends, but nobody ever believes them.

Me: Wow, so most people are pretty stupid huh?

Santa: No comment.

Me: Okay, this is a question I know everyone has wanted to ask you since they were little. . . How do you fit enough gifts for the entire world into the back of your sleigh?

Santa: If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.

Me: Try me.

Santa: Okay, here it goes: Have you ever seen "Honey I shrunk the kids"?

Me: Yeah sure . . . wait, you don't mea . . .

Santa: Yup . . . that movie is actually science NON-fiction.

Me: Wow! . . . Okay, well I don't want to take up to much more of your time, but I just have one last question. Do you ever get sick of Milk and Cookies?

Santa: Ho, Ho, ho, . . . Well, ever since last year, I do not drink milk! I prefer water, coffee, or red bull. As for cookies, I love them, I can't get enough . . . but Mrs. Clause doesn't let me eat them any other day of the year, so I look forward to the one night that I can eat them.

Me: Well, thank you very much for revealing some of the most unanswered questions about you today. I know you're a busy man and I appreciate the opportunity to finally sit down with you.

Santa: It was my pleasure.

Court TV

Sometimes it's your only day off and you just want to relax. But what do you do when there's nothing on tv? I'm sure some of you will say, why not read a book, put in a movie, or do something productive? I will agree that these are all valid arguments, but I have already started two loads of laundry and cleaned the inside of my car.

Now, I am waiting for my laundry to be done, so I figured I'd watch a little television. I don't want to put in a movie because I have things to do later and I don't have the time. All I was hoping for was a little "Frasier", maybe an episode of "Friends", but no . . . there is nothing on that I enjoy watching. So what do I do? I leave it on the channel it was already on: "Judge Alex".

I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of engrossed in these ridiculous trials. I just want to know a few things:

Do these "Judges" have any self respect?

Do the celebrity jurors actually consider this "doing their part"?

Why are there so many of these shows . . . "Judge Judy, Judge Alex, Christina's Court . . . " are they really that popular?

Is part of the criteria for being on this show poor grammar, immaturity, and mental retardation?

And finally can you become less intelligent for watching something that is the complete opposite of intelligent?

These are just a few of the things I ponder while I watch.

"The Last Lecture"

As some of you may remember from one of my recent posts I received a book called "The Last Lecture" for my birthday. After I got it I began to read it right away, but only got to page 7. Then a few weeks later I picked it up again and read about 20 more pages. I would have kept reading, but my roommates got home from work and demanded my attention as usual.

Finally, I picked it up again today and began reading at about 1 pm. With no foreseen interruptions I figured I would read for about an hour. But I couldn't put it down. I finished at about 3:30 pm.

When you read a good book you have this incredible urge to tell everyone you know that they need to read it too. I only read it because my second mom raved about it. Normally, when you tell people to read a book they say they will, but never actually do. I've seen it happen a thousand times. However, knowing how enjoyable it can be to read a good book, I listened to my second mom. Sure it took me a little while, but I did it. And I'm glad I did.

"The Last Lecture" is about a Professor named Randy Pausch facing his own mortality when he is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. As some of you may know pancreatic cancer is one of the hardest cancers to treat because doctors only find it when it's way too late. Because he was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University he was asked to give a last lecture. The book talks about going after your childhood dreams, and the fundamentals you need to get there . . . which is what his Last Lecture was on.

Reading this book was kind of inspirational. Maybe you think I'm dumb, but until you read it yourself I'm going to have to call you the dumb one.

I'm sure the inspiration I got from this book will soon wear off, as most inspiring things do over time, but I'm going to try and make the most of it while I can. Hopefully, even when this feeling fades I will still remember what I learned from this book when I am faced with a difficult situation . . . because . . .
_________ (a quote from Randy Pausch)
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"Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things" . . . . and

"Experience is what you get, when you didn't get what you wanted." - - - quote from his book, although not his own words.

Just read it.

100 divided by 4 Part II ( I told you I would write it)

Okay, where was I?

Thinking . . .

Thinking . . .

Should've read the end of my last post . . .

Thinking . . .

Thi . . .Oh Right, I had just opened a package from my parents and sister. After that I called Anna . . . no answer. My stomach was growling! I think I ate some candy or a cupcake in hopes of ruining my appetite. It was at this time I discovered that appetites can not be ruined and my Mom had lied to me for a very long time. But I digress . . .

Anyway, I was hungry, and Anna and Bo were taking forever! Finally my phone rang, I was so excited! But it wasn't them. It was my friend from Bakersfield. Once I saw who it was I felt a series of emotions. My thought process was as follows: "Damnit, it's not Bo and Anna (sadness and grumpiness), Oh wait it's my friend from Bakersfield, I haven't talked to her in forever! ( remorse, because I only sent her a text message for her birthday just ten days earlier, followed by excitement mixed with happiness).We talked for a bit about her son, my age, my job, her job, her new place, my new place. . . old friends . . . and that's about it.

Side Note : I forget to mention that my second mom (Anna's biological mother) had called me earlier to say Happy Birthday. When I first answered she sang happy birthday to me and I said thank you. Then I asked her if she was still at the DMV. OOPS! I thought it was Anna.

So . . . I'm still at the house, hungrier than I have ever been in my life. . . Except for that one time I was at my Grandma's mobile home and me and my fam had just gone swimming. . . and finally they call. They told me they would be home in about ten minutes and when they got there they were going to honk, at which point I was supposed to go into their room and close the door.

Why their room you ask? Because they thought I might look out my window and see them coming up the stairs with whatever it was I wasn't allowed to see. But in their room all you can see when you look out the window is a wall. It's so nice that they trust me so much.

It seemed like a lot longer than ten minutes until they finally got home, not to mention other people kept honking downstairs and it was very confusing. So in order to avoid being in the living room when they got back I just stayed in their room.

After what seemed like days, they finally got back. I said "WHERE'S MY SANDWICH!" . . . Sure it might have been rude, but I was hungry, and when I'm that hungry I get angry and demanding. Luckily they understood. After a few minutes they said I could come out of their room but I wasn't allowed to go into my room now. Then they said they were going to be in my room for a while and to not ask questions. I said "whatever, I just want my sandwich!"

So I ate, and I ate, and I ate some more . . . it was a big sandwich. When I finished I knew I had gone too far. I was really full. The type of full where you don't want to move, and if you were to lay down, you might be asleep for a while.

Fortunately I didn't fall asleep. I just watched tv and waited . . .

and waited . . .

and waited . . .

and waited . . .

Finally, Anna came out of my room and asked if I wanted them all at once or throughout the rest of the day. I couldn't decide so she said " okay! All at once!. So she brought out the gifts . . .

and then she brought out more gifts . . .

and then even more gifts . . .

Basically there were a lot of gifts.

I began opening them one by one.

The first one I opened was a tiara. Then I had about 20 gifts that were pens, notepads, post-its, mouse pads, more pens, more notepads . . . ALL WITH CHARACTERS FROM THE OFFICE ON THEM! I WAS SOOOO EXCITED! And it only got better, they also got me a 24 pack of Redbull, and a very cool hat that really can't be explained with words.

They really know the way to my heart. After all the gifts were open I sort of forget what happened. So I'll just skip ahead to the next cool part of the day.

Our friend Dick came over because he wanted to celebrate my birthday with me (probably because he's in love with me, but it also could have been for Anna's cooking . . . either way . . . ). But they had to go pick him up from the Bart station.

When they arrived back at the house they asked me to come downstairs because they said they wanted to show me something.I was nervous, I knew it meant trouble, but my curiosity took over and I went down anyway. Bo and Anna were both waiting by the trunk of their car . . . I knew they were up to something, but I thought that they may have caught one of the kittens that roams the neighborhood. I know we can't have a kitten, but I thought they were just going to let me pet it so I went closer (with hesitance of course).

As I slowly approached the vehicle I became more and more weary of what was in store for me. When I finally reached the trunk of the car BAM, SILLY STRING EVERYWHERE, ALL OVER MY CLEAN CLOTHES. I ran away, but Bo was not about to let me get away. He chased me up and down the street until I finally gave in and just stood there while he continued to cover my whole body with silly string.

When it was finally empty he walked away and Dick began spraying me with his can. Eventually he set the can on the ground and asked if he could give me a birthday hug. I allowed it, but quickly escaped, grabbed the can and began to spray him, then David, and Anna as well. I wasn't able to cover them with it quite as well as they did me, but I still got them back.

Note to everyone : Never EVER leave a can of Silly String unattended. I think they learned a valuable lesson that night.

After that Anna made Meatloaf, my favorite dish, and the four of us fully intended to go bowling. But somehow we wound up in front of the tv and our computers until it was too late. I was okay with it though. My bowling abilities are not what they once were when I used to practice three or four times a week, and I feared letting down their high expectations of my skills. I always like to emphasize that it's not my score that reflects my ability but my potential. Does that make sense? I don't really care if you understand, I know what I mean.

So that was my birthday. It was simple and fun. Just what I wanted.

But that's not all, no no no, that's not all. The great thing about living in different cities/ states than the rest of your immediate family is the gift delay. Even though my birthday was a week ago, yesterday I got another package in the mail. It was from my oldest sister. She got me like 5 puzzles. Extremely difficult puzzles that only someone with my extreme puzzle putting together skill would be able to do. I like them very much, Thank you sister who is eight years older than me, Thank you for understanding what a much younger person like me would enjoy .. . . and for being able to read my birthday list.

One last thing, my extreme laziness has left me no choice but to post this without proof reading it. Please excuse any grammatical/ spelling errors that might have occurred through the duration of this post. Thank you.