Friday, May 29, 2009

Oops

A common hardship among servers is remembering which Pepsi (or Coke) is regular and which one is diet. Unfortunately for me, I had one of each last Monday. They were for two different tables. Normally, it's an easy situation to handle. All I do, is give the one I think is the Diet to the table who gets the diet and ask them to taste it really quick. If it's wrong, I give them the other one, and go back and get another regular (Pepsi) for the other table.

However, on this fateful Monday, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Here's what happened:

Me: I'm sorry, I can't remember which one is diet and which one is regular. Do you mind tasting this to make sure it's the right one?

Guest #1: No, I can't.

Me: Oooookay (that's me not fully understanding why, but quickly assuming it's a medical condition). Oh, I know, I'll take this one to the other table and ask her to taste it and make sure it's a regular. I'll be right back.

Guest #1: (Look of anger)

Me: (I hand the other drink to the 2nd guest at the other table) Do you mind tasting this to make sure it's regular?

Guest #2: No, not at all. (she tastes it) yup, it's regular.

Me: Thank You, and sorry.

Guest #2: No Problem. ( She says this in a way that indicates it really was no problem, because why should it be?)

I walk over to the other table.

Me: Okay, that ones the diet (as I point to her drink). Sorry about that.

Guest #1: Oh, so we're just going to take her word for it?

Me: Ummmm (thinking to myself "be polite, be polite") Well I know for a fact that I poured one regular and one diet, and she said hers was regular.

Guest #1: Okay, so were just going to trust that this is diet based on that?

Me: ( Thinking to myself "be polite, be polite, THIS WOMAN IS SO RUDE, be polite, be polite") You know what, I'm sorry I'll get another one. I'll be right back.

I bring her the drink, she says thank you (with a rude look on her face) and I say sure, and I'm really sorry about that. (although mostly I'm just irritated.)

When I go to drop off the check her daughter (or whoever) gives me a look that says "what, we have to pay for our lunch after what just happened?" But I smile and say, "Take your time, no rush." I walk away.

Then I end up transferring the table to a different server because it wasn't my table to begin with, it was transferred to me by another server. Plus, my manager was in a hurry to get me off the clock so I didn't feel like waiting, although I was worried they would leave a bad tip.

They leave a 2 cent tip. I felt really bad. (I felt bad because the server I transferred it to only got a 2 cent tip, I don't get the tip because it was not on my sales total . . . I hope that makes sense . . . oh, and we claim our tips based on our own personal sales.)

I know I should remember which soda is which, but is it really that big of a deal?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Observations

Here is a list of things I have noticed and thought to myself "Why?"

1.) Why is it that every Longs Drugstore I go to there is always a male employee who is slightly overweight, has long hair (tied back in a ponytail of course) and lots of tattoos? Is that some sort of prerequisite for working there?

2.) Why are there people in this world that don't like Peanut Butter? Did their parents over feed it to them when they were children? Are they missing important taste buds? Are they eating the wrong brand of Peanut butter? Whatever it is, it doesn't make sense.

3.) Who came up with the "tie"? Why did someone, at some point, decide that a man should have a long skinny piece of fabric hanging around his neck? And why are women excluded from this fashion? Sure, we can wear them, but it's not the same.

4.) Why are there commercials for scary movies late at night? I believe you! You have scared me . . . against my will . . . please stop!

5.) Why can't there be a version of "The Biggest Loser" for people who aren't overweight? I know, I know, the whole show is about overweight people getting their lives back, but I just think there could be a spin off for people that aren't overweight, but want to make themselves completely ripped. I think it would get a lot of viewers. People would watch it to look at beautiful bodies become even more beautiful. I know I'm right on this one.

6.) Three words: Decaffeinated Red Bull. Sometimes I want a Red Bull with the same amount of sugar, but none of the caffeine. What can I say, I like the taste. Why has this multi-million dollar company not even tried to sell this product?

7.) We all know about the famous foam finger you can get at pretty much any sporting event. Why not a foam hand? Five times the fingers equals five times the fun.

8.) Why are we still allowing cell phones in restaurants? We've eliminated smoking and I think its time we started checking cell phones at the door. At least don't give me that look when I try to get a drink order out of you only to realize you are on the phone. I'M JUST DOING MY JOB!

9.) Why do parents these days insist on making up names for their newborn children? I'm sorry you weren't there, but all the names have been made up. David, Karen, Jonathan, Amanda . . . these are real names, plus thousands more that don't make other people cringe. JUST PICK ONE FROM THE LIST!

10.) Nope, just kidding, there is no number ten. Sorry.

I know some of these topics have already been observed, but I just wanted you to know that I've observed them too.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Beer Class

Today I learned about Beer. I've never been interested in beer. Quite frankly I think it's gross. Apparently I was supposed to learn to like it in college, but I guess I can add that to the list of things I missed out on, even thought I attended one of the biggest party schools in Southern California.

Everyone has always told me, "just keep drinking it. Pretty soon you'll be drunk and you won't even taste it anymore. Eventually you will like it and you won't remember how disgusting you used to think it was."

But it never happened. The taste was always just too damn bad for me to keep going. Even when I kept drinking long enough to get a buzz, it still tasted terrible. I guess the effect of the alcohol was never enough motivation for me to keep trying. Especially when there are drinks out there that taste sooo much better. I think most people call these drinks "girly drinks". Which is fine by me, I mean, I'm a girl. Why shouldn't I be drinking something made for me! I certainly don't think I should be drinking "manly drinks", it might give people the wrong impression. Am I right?

But I digress.

So today I took this Beer Class. I work at a brewery, and although it's not exactly my dream job, I need to make the most of it while I'm there. Over the last 7 months that I've worked there all I've been able to tell our guests is that "We make our own beer, and it's real good, you should try it." . . . Not exactly the best salesmanship.

I should probably mention that the Beer Class was taught by one of the Bartenders at the restaurant, and the material was only covering the Beers offered at this restaurant chain. I didn't just sign up for some random class somewhere.

All in all the class was very helpful to me. I finally got to taste all the beers we serve, and for the first time I was able to taste the way they differ. You see, since I am not a beer drinker, I've always felt that every beer tastes the same . . . nasty. But if you taste a beer knowing what it is supposed to taste like, the subtle (subtle to me anyway) differences become much more obvious.

I still think beer is gross, but now, when a table asks about our beers, my knowledge will be much more plentiful.

Monday, May 4, 2009

A Wrinkle In Time

Why do we hate wrinkles? Why do we do everything we can to get rid of them? Maybe I'm not old enough to understand how horrible it is to get that first wrinkle on your face, but I DO know what it's like to wear a shirt with wrinkles, and I don't think it's that big of a deal.

I think everyone should wear their shirts wrinkly. I think I could start a huge trend if I were a celebrity.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that ironing is a pain in the ass.

I'm 25 years old and thanks to the whole women being equal to men thing, I never had to take Home-Ec in school. I thought it was great at the time, but now I'm an adult and all I can cook is rice and frozen food (and the rice doesn't always come out right). I don't know how to sew, and until tonight I didn't really know how to iron either.

Sure I've done it before, but the shirts or pants always seemed to have new wrinkles or creases that weren't there when I started.

It's always sort of been my secret shame. I guess that's why I've faked it for so many years. But tonight I had to do it, and I had to do it right.

Luckily I live with my mom and she was able to teach me the ways of ironing.

At first I was just going to wing it. I began slowly, telling myself "You can do it Madelyn, just take it slow." But with every new wrinkle or crease I made the frustration grew and grew. I began to curse at my shirts and the iron as well. Finally my mom said "Do you even know how to iron?" So, as I hung my head in shame, I whispered "No". "What?" she said, "NO, NO I DON'T!" I screamed.

It was all out in the open, I began to cry and my mom looked at me . . . the way any mother looks at her child in pain . . . and said "Well for Pete's sake Madelyn, calm down!" So I did, and together we ironed my shirts.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I learned to iron.