Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Here is a list of things I have noticed and thought to myself "Why?"

1.) Why is it that every Longs Drugstore I go to there is always a male employee who is slightly overweight, has long hair (tied back in a ponytail of course) and lots of tattoos? Is that some sort of prerequisite for working there?

2.) Why are there people in this world that don't like Peanut Butter? Did their parents over feed it to them when they were children? Are they missing important taste buds? Are they eating the wrong brand of Peanut butter? Whatever it is, it doesn't make sense.

3.) Who came up with the "tie"? Why did someone, at some point, decide that a man should have a long skinny piece of fabric hanging around his neck? And why are women excluded from this fashion? Sure, we can wear them, but it's not the same.

4.) Why are there commercials for scary movies late at night? I believe you! You have scared me . . . against my will . . . please stop!

5.) Why can't there be a version of "The Biggest Loser" for people who aren't overweight? I know, I know, the whole show is about overweight people getting their lives back, but I just think there could be a spin off for people that aren't overweight, but want to make themselves completely ripped. I think it would get a lot of viewers. People would watch it to look at beautiful bodies become even more beautiful. I know I'm right on this one.

6.) Three words: Decaffeinated Red Bull. Sometimes I want a Red Bull with the same amount of sugar, but none of the caffeine. What can I say, I like the taste. Why has this multi-million dollar company not even tried to sell this product?

7.) We all know about the famous foam finger you can get at pretty much any sporting event. Why not a foam hand? Five times the fingers equals five times the fun.

8.) Why are we still allowing cell phones in restaurants? We've eliminated smoking and I think its time we started checking cell phones at the door. At least don't give me that look when I try to get a drink order out of you only to realize you are on the phone. I'M JUST DOING MY JOB!

9.) Why do parents these days insist on making up names for their newborn children? I'm sorry you weren't there, but all the names have been made up. David, Karen, Jonathan, Amanda . . . these are real names, plus thousands more that don't make other people cringe. JUST PICK ONE FROM THE LIST!

10.) Nope, just kidding, there is no number ten. Sorry.

I know some of these topics have already been observed, but I just wanted you to know that I've observed them too.


Anonymous said...

#3. I think the tie was invented out of laziness. With ties, everyone could wear white shirts and the same jacket. But the tie is different every day...

#6. You are unclear on the concept of Red Bull.

#8. Why have a cell phone at all?

#9. In Germany they do exactly what you suggest - all names for children have to come from a list. And this is actually a big change for them - it used to be that children were named in a certain order after grandparents, uncles, etc.

Madelyn said...

Anonymous (DAD) - I suppose you're right about the ties.
I understand that RedBull is an energy drink, but coffee was meant to give you energy as well, and yet now we have decaf. And why do we have decaf? Because some people just like the taste.

I have a cell phone to be cool.

I know about the Germany thing, and I agree with it.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree with the scary movie thing. I HATE them. I think those commercials should be illegal.

Names are arbitrary. All names are equally ridiculous. Try saying your name over and over. After a while it won't sound like a word. That said, I do think some of the names people are coming up with are obnoxious.

Anonymous said...

Just a few observations about your observations.

2) Agreed. People who don't like peanut butter are inhuman.

3) I agree with anonymous #1 here. Men, being the lazy bums that we are, asked, "What is the simplest piece of clothing we can invent that will arbitrarily be associated with dressing up? A piece of fabric tied around the neck? Sure, why not!" Now we can get all dressed up in a fraction of the time and effort it takes a female.

9) What?! You don't think things like Audio Science, Moon Unit, and Pilot Inspektor (Yes, those are real, I googled it) are cute baby names? You must be crazy.

10) Damn, I was really looking forward to number ten.

cadiz12 said...

i can totally get behind number 4. i used to have to watch certain shows on mute late at night because the music would scare me more than the content.

i'm all for tried and true names, but i'm willing to bet that common names today--perhaps even the spelling "madelyn"? (though i like that spelling best)--were scandalous before they became popular.