Saturday night I went to bed thinking of nothing but what the Easter Bunny might leave me. I usually get a chocolate bunny that I never eat, a bunch of other candy (that I do eat, which gives me a stomach ache, and some sort of stuffed animal. Usually the stuffed animal is a bunny, but one year I got the coolest clown.
I finally fell asleep at around 1 am. I was abruptly awoken at around 3 am when I heard my door open and my stainless steel trash can fall over. I said "whos there?" No response. I was freaking out! When I could finally see clearly there was a big white fluffy bunny standing over me. It scared the begeezies out of me!
When I finally calmed down because he had assured me who he was and what he was doing, I asked him why he woke me up. He said he didn't do it on purpose, but as long as I was up he had a few questions for me. I politely replied, "ask away". He started out by apologizing because he had brought nothing for me. Apparently he didn't know that I had moved from my old apartment in Mira Mesa to my sister's house in San Marcos. I said "no problem, I'm sure my mom will get me something". He thanked me for being so forgiving. I said "you're welcome, now how can I help you?"
He told me he had heard that I want to become a professional bowler. Then he asked me if I thought he could make it in the same business. I was shocked...I mean...The EASTER BUNNY came to ME for career advice! I asked him what was wrong with his current business of delivering beautiful candy filled baskets to ungrateful little children. He told me that with the world of technology growing faster and faster he had a lot of trouble getting into peoples houses without an alarm going off. He said he had already been attacked by the police three times that night. They wouldn't let him go until they saw his ID, and were given really great baskets filled with coffee and donuts.
I couldn't believe it. I told him I was sorry he was going through such a difficult time, but I didn't really see him as a professional bowler. I explained to him the importance of opposable thumbs for playing the sport. He began to cry. I didn't know what to do. I tried to think of other things he could do...I even suggested working for Santa Clause, but he said he had already tried that.
Finally, I thought of the best possible solution. I told him he could use technology to his advantage. Instead of delivering all the baskets himself, he could mail them to the parents. That way there is no breaking and entering involved, and he won't be seen by kids that stay up way past there bed time to try and catch him. All in all everything turned out well, he was excited about getting home and renovating his business. He also left my sister and her Husband an extra generous basket, and told me if the whole bowling career thing didn't work out for me, then he would be happy to offer me a full time job with great pay, plus benefits!
And that my friends is how I saved Easter.