The Great Grammar Challenge of 2012

April . . . something or other . . . a day that will go down in grammar history. A day that would make my 6th, 7th and 8th grade English teacher, Miss Debbie Stringer, proud.

Not of me, but of someone I once worked with (although it was for a short period, and I hardly remember him).

His name is John Alexander, and he . . . is a grammar genius.

It all started a few weeks ago when my sister-in-law came home distraught. Distraught over a recent discovery in a song that has recently become popular around the world and in our own home as well.

There was/is a grammatical error.

Yes, you read that right. A grammatical error.

Upon hearing this, I can't say that my faith in the American music industry wasn't shaken.

These are supposed to be well educated, upstanding citizens, I thought. If we can't count on them to use proper grammar, who can we count on?

With this kind of misuse of the English language going on, what will become of our children . . . and our children's children?

How can we expect them to learn when we don't even know how to properly say what we want to say!?

Outraged and ashamed, I decided to put a friends knowledge to the test.

I had been in California a week prior and visited with my friend Steve Murray, a person who also can't stand improper grammar. If he could find the mistake, maybe there was still hope. I don't know why this would insure hope in America's future, but I was also bored and wanted to see if he could find the error.

I texted him exclaiming, "Grammar Challenge! There is an error in the song 'We are Young' by the band Fun., can you find it?" (It is important to note at this point that the bands name is Fun with a period after it, so the comma I just put after that period is not a mistake).

Steve, being extremely confident in his ability to correct any and all grammar mistakes, accepted the challenge and began working feverishly to find it.

Over the next 3 days he spent day and night looking for the error. He called in sick to work, skipped his church choir practice, and drank Red Bull after Red Bull, until finally . . . he gave up. He just didn't see it.

Disappointed and ashamed in himself, he spent the next five days curled up in a ball on his feux leather sofa, watching episode after episode of The Dick Van Dyke show, and crying himself to sleep at night.

Finally, on the sixth day, in a fit of drunken rage, he punched several holes in his dining room wall. When his roommate, John Alexander, came home that night, he asked Steve what the hell was going on?

After explaining what had happened, John too, became intrigued by the challenge, and offered his help.

With no one else to turn to, Steve, although still drunk, graciously accepted.

After just minutes of looking over a written version of the lyrics, John triumphantly found the error and explained it to Steve.

So there you have it. A happy ending to my story. As long as there are people like John, willing to patiently teach the rules of grammar to the confused and misunderstood, our country might just stand a chance.

As in all challenges, there was of course a prize . . . and since this prize was coming from me, I'm sure that you can guess just what is was . . . an envelope.

One for Steve, for taking the time to learn just exactly what is wrong with that song, and one for John, the hero of this story.

This one was for Steve. I chose this as both a punishment (at first he lied to me and made it seem as though he had come up with the answer on his own, before admitting the truth shortly after) and a reward. You see, we used to work at In N Out together, so the image should bring back both happy and frustrating memories. 

And this one for John . . . because who doesn't like Star Wars? Although, after speaking with my brother about it, I was informed that Boba Fett would have been a better way to go. I said, "but he is hardly even in the movie!". "Doesn't matter," he replied, "he's fricken' awesome!"

Touche brother, touche.

Each envelope is accompanied with a Certificate of Authenticity to assure the owner that it was indeed made by these (my) magic hands.

So now, I challenge all of you, with the promise of one of my envelopes that will be especially tailored to what you like, as a prize, to find the grammatical error in the song for which this post is based on.

* The events of this story may have been altered for dramatic effect.

** All grammatical errors in this story are hereby null and void by authority of  . . . me.

*** Sure, there have been promises of prizes in previous posts, but this time I mean it.

Click here to go directly to the lyrics of the song.