Rap

It's time to rap things up here at the ol' Bowling Express. We all knew this day would come.

Some of us are taking it harder than others.

Dear Lucky Coin . . .

I thought things were going to be different when I bought you. I mean, okay, I did find that dollar the other day, but what about the important things? I wasn't asking to win the whole Powerball Jackpot, but it would have been nice if I had at least gotten my 2 dollars back.

Then there was today. First I couldn't find a parking spot on Schiller and then I couldn't find a parking spot on LaSalle! Now I have to pay 10 dollars to park at Treasure Island!

So here's the tally. You gave me that one dollar, but then I paid 2 for the Powerball ticket. However, I did get 75 cents back when that chick forgot her change. Which puts us at 25 cents. Plus the 10 dollars. So basically you owe me $10.25. I'll need it soon.

All my best,

 Madelyn

P.S. I like this bike, make it happen.

The Ball of Power

550 Million dollars. I didn't win.

D's upset. I sort of promised him a go kart if I won.

Future Glimpse

Today I was looking at my bank statement, and I thought, what if when I was 10, I was allowed to see one thing as a glimpse into my future and it was this bank statement.

I think this would be my thought process: (Remember, this is 10 year old me.)

1.) Wow, I have over a hundred dollars! Ima gonna be rich! (Say that last part with an Italian accent).

2.) Why did I need 40 gallons of gas? (I spent 41 dollars at the gas station, gas was like a dollar a gallon back then . . . you get it now.)

3.) I sure do shop at 7-Eleven a lot . . . probably buying candy.

4.) Starbucks? What is that? In chicago? Why the heck would I be in Chicago? I must have been visiting my cousins, we're probably besties.

5.) Who's Dominick and why do I keep buying things from him?

6.) What's a "PIN POS Purchase Fee"? They better be good for 25 cents!

Poor, stupid, 10 year old me.

Now picture this dude saying, "Ima gonna be rich!", with an Italian accent.

It's not easy. . .

. . . to be this cute.

Lucky Coin

The other day, I guess this guy paid with like 20 of these really old, dollar coins.

I wasn't there when it happened, but I sure as hell had access to the stash.

Anyway, I thought this one in particular was pretty cool, so I bought it.

I'm 99% sure it's lucky. I mean, doesn't it have lucky written all over it!?

1921 Bitches. (I looked for a 1925 one, the year Dick Van Dyke was born, but there weren't any.)

In other news, this is how my nephew feels about the Raiders.

Golden Penny

Amongst a sea of ugly brown pennies, this 1983 one dares to be different.

Yay 1983!

Yay NaBloPoMo!

Yay Pictures and hardly any words!

Is it still November?

On Tuesday nights I have Improv class. I started taking it after I finished the writing program. I've taken it once before at a different theater (The Annoyance), and I didn't care for it much. However, I decided to give it another go (at Second City), because, well, why not?

So far I have liked it a lot. I think the biggest reason for that is my teacher. She has this calm demeanor that makes you feel at ease.

Last Tuesday, as she was about to turn her phone on silent so she could focus on teaching, her doctor called. He told her that her breast cancer was back.

Talk about the worst news you could ever hear right before you're supposed to be upbeat and happy.

She went home that night and we joined another class. Unfortunately, we'll probably be getting another teacher. I'm sad, but I understand.

Anyway, the point is, I made her this card. I thought the whole class could sign it to let her know we're supporting her.  Let me know what you think.

I also told Declan the bad news. He said, "What's this cancer? Where is it? Let me at it! Let me at it!"

T-Day

Another vegetarian T-Day under my belt. I think that makes three. A lot of people ask, "What do vegetarians eat on Thanksgiving?"

The answer: Nothing.

I mean, what can we do, it's not like there are any side dishes or anything. It's just turkey or nothing.

It's okay though. I still have my pink Monkey socks.

Plus, Declan said "If Aunt Madelyn isn't eating any turkey, I'm not gonna either." So he just drank milk. 

Thanks buddy, thanks. 

Private Eye

Today I found a Nook.

If only they would have taken advantage of that "This Nook Belongs to:" plastic window.

Maybe this girl can help. Heck, maybe it's hers.

So here's what we know. This person likes to read . . . from electronic devices. They know or recently met a girl named Natalie, and they draw flowers, or keep drawing of flowers with them when they read. 

Now let's solve this mystery!

Good News/ Bad News

The Good News 

After sticking to a fierce exercise regimen and a healthy diet for the last 6 months*, my body basically looks like this:

I'd show you a picture of me posing this way, but I don't have the outfit, and my body is significantly more pale**. Besides, you saw the before and after pics, Right?

The Bad News:

The damn thing is hungry all the time. Either that or I have to pee (staying hydrated is a bitch). Usually both though.

Looking this good comes at a price.

*I've been exercising on the reg for much longer than the last 6 months. I don't know why, but I need you to know that.
**Obviously I want a tan, but is it worth the health risks? . . . Probably.

#pleasedontlecturemeontanningnowImbeingsarcastic

Limited Edition

Ideas are lacking. Sure, I could just come on here and rant about my day, but why do that when you could partake in . . . wait for it . .  . ANOTHER MADELYN POP QUIZ!!!!

Madelyn Pop Quiz Part II : The College Years

1.) What college ez, did she attend?

2.) When she was in college, what was her go to drink drink (with alcohol)?

3.) When she was 23, what did she vow she would become (and then later changed her mind when she found out there was no money in it)?

4.) When she graduated college, where did she move?

5.) What did she name her, more than likely, inbred cat?

6.) What was her college roommates name?

7.) Where was her car taken when it was stolen?

8.) What did she major in?

9.) What does she blame for her 7 year addiction to energy drinks?

10.) What class would you be most surprised to learn she only earned a B in?

Good Luck. "Prizes" will be awarded to those who get the most right.

Get Dexcited. 

Something something something

Didja Know?

Camels have 3 eyelids to protect their eyes from desert sand.

The average housefly travels at a 4.5 miles per hour.

Yeah, that's all I got today. I'm sorry! At least you learned something.

He knows what he wants.

Graduating

Another Sweet diploma to add to my wall of accomplishments.

Every time I look at it I can hear Steve Carell whisper "I'm proud of you Madelyn".

D was so excited, he took a bath.

Bicycle Gangs

Today I rode my bike to the gym. I don't want to say that makes me hard core, buuuuuuuut, the writing is kind of on the wall.

So here is a Pros and Cons list of riding my bike to the gym.

Pros

1.) It's good cardio.

2.)

Cons

1.) It's cold.

2.) It takes forever to get there (it's 5 miles from where I live).

3.) You run into bicycle gangs*.

I think this was their leader, you can tell by the fierce look in her eyes.

4.) You have to find a place to lock up your bike once you get there. The suburbs are not bike parking friendly.

5.) It's scary riding on the streets without sidewalks. 

6.) I'm pretty sure every car that had to slow down and kind of go around me, hated me. 

7.) After a tough workout, you have to bike home too.

Well, as you can see, the lists are pretty balanced, so I'll probably continue to do it. 

*Last night my brother specifically told me to never cross a bicycle gang. 

Now, I know you've all been waiting patiently for the answers to the Madelyn Pop quiz, so here you go:

1.) When I was 12, what did I run into while riding a moped? A parked car. (I guess, more specifically, it was my Aunts.)

2.) Where was my first job? Century 16 Theaters (Sweepin' up the popcorn with David D.)

3.) When I was a kid, what did I want to be when I grew up (I'll give you a hint, it didn't pan out)? A dinosaur bone finder (Clown was close, but I don't really feel like we can say that didn't pan out).

4.) What do I currently live in constant fear of (think liquids)? Having to pee when I am unable to, or when there is no bathroom around. 

5.) What was the name of my childhood best friend? Tiffany James

6.) What was my first car? A 1984, red orange BMW 318i

7.) What do I consider to be "the dumbest thing I ever did"? Moving to Reno (Sparks) (The one time I can truly say, I should have listened to my Mother). Buying the Jeep is a close second though.

8.) What are the names of all the cities that I've lived in? Ventura, San Diego (technically San Marcos too, but I wasn't really counting that one), Daly City, Sparks, and Lisle. 

9.) Where do I put my keys when I get home? I usually don't remember ( I felt like anyone related to me really should have known this, especially my parents and my sister A.. My SIL did get it correct though. Good job.)

10.) If I could be an animal, which one would I be? A cat. They get to sleep and eat all day, and the fatter they get, the cuter they look. ( Penguin was a good guess though, I do love me some penguins.)

A special shout-out to David D. for even trying AND for posting the answers to my FB Timeline.  Also, to anonymous commenter. You were pretty close on a lot of them. 

Do you see what I see?

If not, you're gonna. 

D's curious. (Ignore that hottie in the corner).

When I go to the city, the best place to find parking is near the horses. 

Look what I found on the street.

Who throws away such a pretty box? (I mean, before it was run over by several cars.)

Finally, do you see the resemblance?

Notice the matching ears. 

I think he might like holding his son more than he likes holding beer. 

I saw other things today too, these were just the best things. Well, the best things that I also photographed. 

#whatisshetalkingaboutshessomysterious

Cutting it close

No time. No ideas. Couldn't get my mom to do it. It's 11:20 pm and people are asking, "Where is your blog post?"

It's time for a (let's use that game show host voice, people) MADELYN POP QUIZ!

How well do you know me? Let's find out?

1.) When I was 12, what did I run into while riding a moped?

2.) Where was my first job?

3.) When I was a kid, what did I want to be when I grew up (I'll give you a hint, it didn't pan out)?

4.) What do I currently live in constant fear of (think liquids)?

5.) What was the name of my childhood best friend?

6.) What was my first car?

7.) What do I consider to be "the dumbest thing I ever did"?

8.) What are the names of all the cities that I've lived in?

9.) Where do I put my keys when I get home?

And finally, this one is for all the marbles* folks . . .

10.) If I could be an animal, which one would I be?

* No marbles will be awarded for answering correctly.

On a more serious note . . .

. . . I'm worried my nephew may be a suspicious character.

I'm smarter today then I have ever been in my life

If you learn something new everyday, then this should be true everyday, right? Assuming you don't get into a horrible accident and suffer some sort of brain injury.

So here are 5 things I've learned over the last week that are currently making me the smartest Madelyn I can be.

1.) Steve Carell turned 50 this year! Lookin' good dude . . . lookin' good.

2.)  How to recognize suspicious characters.

3.) How to take the bus from Union Station (Chicago) to LaSalle and North. The key is to ask a lot of random strangers for help.

4.) When you walk in really cold weather, it is very important that you have something to cover your ears. ( I don't know why this is the first year I'm realizing this, but it is.)

5.) Pineapple is the "crack" of fruit. I thought it was grapes, but they are more like the "heroine" of fruit. Heroine is less addicting than crack, right?

Today's post was brought to you by a PC. I hated every minute of it. #I'm talking to you S.M..

Plugging

How often can you say, "Wow, that was a really good show." after just one episode.

Rarely. Well I found a show where I did just that. It's called "The Mindy Project" starring Mindy Kaling (Kelly Kapoor from The Office).

She plays a single doctor (an Indian doctor?! Whaaaa!) living in New York City.

She says everything women are usually thinking, but are to afraid to say out loud. She just may be, my new hero.

The only thing I don't like about the show: It's on Fox. A network famous for canceling anything that is even remotely good.

Example: Arrested Development  (note: this show is amazingly good, in case there was confusion.)

Luckily, they were smart, and have already picked it up for another season (although my sources on that information are just my GBFF* telling me so).

They are also slow as duck (yeah, I'm talking about actual ducks here . . . have you ever had to wait for a line of them to cross the street?) when it comes to airing new episodes.

Either way, it's a good show and you should watch it.

FACT: I had my GBFF* watch 3 shows she has never seen before: 1.) Portlandia (great show) 2.) Party Down (GREAT show) and 3.) The Mindy Project

SECOND FACT: The only one she is still watching is The Mindy Project.

'Nuff said.

This is how my nephew feels about Fox.

*To ensure that there are no hurt feelings here, I would like to distinguish that I have a Girl BFF and a Boy BFF. You know who you are. Don't fight over me.

Before and After

Since I posted about having completed the Insanity program, I've received thousands upon thousands* of emails begging me to show you the before and after picture.

Although before and after pictures can be a little embarrassing, I decided, I need to give my fans what they want. So here you go.

Click on the picture to make it bigger . . . that way you can really see my abs in the after pic.

*This number may be slightly** exaggerated.

** I made it up completely.

Monkey Socks

Footed Pajamas.

Babies make them look like the most comfortable thing in the world.

Adults make them look incredibly awkward.

The same goes for adult sized onsies. Trust me, it's a purchase you will regret.

In conclusion, I strongly believe anyone, at any age, can wear clothing with monkeys on it. The same is true for dinosaur print.

2 Months

I'm getting the most out of my voting sticker.

My nephew is 2 months old today.

He's not taking it well. Don't worry kid, 2 months is the new 1 month. 

My sister broke the news to him today

I'm sorry Buddy. I'll be there for Christmas! Only 5 more weeks!

5 Things

5 Things you probably didn't know about me:

1.) Sometimes when I'm typing, I try to capitalize numbers. (Like, not the word version of a number, but an actual number. Ex - 6.)

2.) I only drink bottled water and more specifically, I only drink Dasani. If I'm going somewhere, even if it's to a persons house, I will most likely bring some with me.

3.) I never really drank Kool-aid when I was a kid.

4.) I don't like Root Beer floats. Although I love Root Beer.

5.) I've watched all available seasons of 30 Rock 3 times, but I've only watched one episode from it's most current season.

Try to think of 5 things people probably don't know about you, its kind of hard.

See? Even Big D is having trouble with it.

3 Truths and a Lie

I think you all know how to play.

1.) On my birthday, I didn't have any cake. (That sounds sad, doesn't it? Don't worry, it was a choice.)

2.) I've eaten more carrots in the last week than I have in the last ten years.

3.) Two weeks ago, I switched from coffee to tea. It's starting to grow on me.

4.) I am no longer crazy in love with Dick Van Dyke.

If you don't even have to think about it before you guess, you are ineligible.

Don't let the fact that I have yet to send out prizes for last years winners deter you. However, there will be no prizes this year. 

GOOD LUCK!

This is my nephew, and yes, he is laughing in your face.

Have you seen my baby?

Friday, September 21st,  2012. A day that 25 % of smart phone users everywhere will remember forever. The day the iPhone 5 came out.

I switched to the iPhone back in April, a switch I had been wanting to make for quite some time, but couldn't because of my contract with T-Mobile. T-Mobile is the one major cell phone carrier that doesn't offer the iPhone.

When I made the switch I decided to use my sisters old iPhone 3GS because I wanted to wait for the iPhone 5. Everyone said it was coming in September and I'm a pretty patient person, so I figured I could handle it.

Then, on September 14th it was available for pre-order, but I didn't think I could afford it, so I decided I was going to wait another month.

Three days later I decided it was too important and that I had to have it the day it came out. I'm sure 25% of you can understand. So I robbed a bank (don't worry, I only made them give me 200 dollars) and made a plan to wait in line outside of the Apple Store the night before.

On Thursday September 20th, I went to bed at 10pm and set my alarm for 1:30 am. I figured if I got there at 2am, that would be early enough to get a pretty good spot in line.

I won't bore you with the details about how much fun it was to wait in line, or how cold it got even though I was wearing my winter coat . . . I'll just let you know that after only 7 hours of waiting, I got it, and it was worth every minute.

Fact: I took a picture of my iPhone 5, using my iPad 2 and posted it using my MacBook Pro. Aaaaaand, I managed to squeeze in an adorable picture of my nephew at the same time. 

This one's for you Steve (This title has a double meaning)

As most of you know, I'm a big fan of Steve Carell. I need to clear something up though. I'm not a huge fan of his character "Michael Scott" on The Office. Sure, the name Michael was one of the top name suggestions for my now, almost 2 month old nephew, Declan Scott (Get it, his name would have been Michael Scott), but only because it would have fun to tell people. However, I'm a GINORMOUS fan of his more serious work. Every time I see him in a romantic comedy, I fall in love with him.

Which is why I highly suggest his most recent film,  "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World" (Click on the link if you absolutely must have a synopsis, but I suggest you go into it blindly, otherwise you'll just be waiting for things to happen).

I've watched it twice already.


And now, the picture you've all been waiting for . . . my nephew as a raccoon!

Taking it to the next level

On August 20th, I completed the Insanity program with Shaun T., an extreme exercise program that lasts 60 days. It was intense and I learned a lot from it. Since then, I've been lifting weights on the reg. and I'm in pretty good shape. You're supposed to eat 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight when you are in serious strength training mode. That can be tough when you're a vegetarian. So today I bought this:

Sorry, you're going to have to tilt your head. I didn't take the picture like that on purpose. No time to explain.

Aaaaaaand, thanks to my friend T.R.D., I have just the cup to drink it from! Go ahead and keep your head tilted.

#dontworrysteveimeatingvegetablestoo

Don't panic, I'm not trying to bulk up and look like a man, I'm just trying to be in the best shape of my life, that's all. 

Pencil Droppings

How come sometimes you drop a pencil and it disappears into the abyss?

#pencilsaretoobigtoputbehindmyear

Sooooo, I have this show tonight. I wrote 1/16th of it. You should come.

Where: The Second City - Donny's Skybox on the 4th floor (Chicago, Illinois - Don't go to the one in L.A.)

When: 7:30

Price: $10 - (No, i get none of that money)

"Hey, I can't make it tonight, is it going on any other nights?' - Why, yes, yes it is. It runs for 2 more Fridays after this.

"Hey, are there any other shows I can see after yours for about the same price?' - I'm so glad that you asked, because my brother has a show at 9pm in the deMaat Theater on the 3rd floor. You can't drink alcohol in there, so make sure you get nice and drunk during my show, where alcohol is allowed (when you buy it from them).

It's go time!

NaBloPoMo! National Blog Posting Month. Do I want to do it? Not really. Do I need to do it? Absolutely.

This year, I have a theme. It's called "Check out these pictures of my Nephew that you never asked to see."

I might also use it to showcase some of the envelopes/ cards I've made over the last few months.

Either way, if you check out my blog everyday, you're guaranteed minimal reading and at least one picture. What can I say, I know what people like.

My nephew is the baby.

Pet Peeves Part 347

What is it about people constantly wanting to show off their babies? I don't need to see yet another picture of him/her sleeping. Geez! Can everyone with a baby please just try to be socially aware that pictures of your kid bore me.


Oh, by the way, have you seen my new nephew?!

Declan James Scott
Born 9/9/2012 at 3:46 P.M. PST
6 lbs 7oz 191/2 inches

 . . . I don't want to say I love him more than 1960's Dick Van Dyke, because it's a different kind of love . . . but this picture did replace him as my phone lock screen.

MTM

In case you never saw my Dick Van Dyke envelope, click here.

I can't make this stuff up/ Conversations among siblings

My oldest sister -  I would only consider having a kid if I could genetically engineer it . . . and I wouldn't want it to look like me. It would be a boy . . . blue eyes . . . dark hair . . . tall . . . and skinny.

Me - You just described a young Dick Van Dyke . . . like exactly.

Can we all just agree to agree that I'm right about this?

(Yes, his eyes are blue)

These are My Confessions - Usher

Speaking of Usher (Usher has a song/album called 'Confessions'), did you know me and him have the same birthday? Pretty neat, right?

Anyway, on to my confession.

As most of you may know, I tend to develop crushes on famous comedians. There's a long list of them, all usually in their late 30's to mid 40's, but none of you really now who the first one was.

Sure, you may think it was Peter Scolari, hell, even I used to think that . . . but looking back, I realized these crushes started much, much earlier.

His name - Big Bird.

Any Bulls fans in the house?

Because I live in the Chicago area.