Monday, November 2, 2009

TMI

Question: What is your name?

Answer: Madelyn, but some people call me Scolari45

Q. Interesting, why Scolari45?

A. Anyone who really knows me knows the answer to this, but basically I had a huge crush on Peter Scolari when I was 14 years old.

Q. Who the hell is Peter Scolari?

A. It hurts my heart that you have to ask me that question. He is an actor. You may know him as "The other guy" from "Bosom Buddies". . . and before you ask . . . "Bosom Buddies" was a sitcom that was on in the early '80s. He starred in the show opposite an actor you may or may not have heard of . . . Tom Hanks. He was also in "Newhart", one of Bob Newharts many sitcoms . . . the funniest one if you ask me.

Q. Okay . . . still no idea who you're talking about, but moving on. Where were you born?

A. I was born in Ventura, California.

Q. What do you want to be when you grow up? A little kid again.

A. What's your maiden name? . . . trick question, technically I don't have one yet.

Q. Do you have any brother's or sister's?

A. Two sister's, one brother. Although when I was growing up ( I'm the youngest by the way) I thought that my oldest sister and my brother were just people that lived in our house. I'm not sure when I realized they were actually related to me, but it was probably later than I'd like to admit.

Q. Okay, the questions are going to get a little tougher now, are you ready?

A. Am I ready? Was that the first tough question?

Q. You're hilarious. . . Here we go . . . Why don't you ever smile?

A. I thought that may be one of the questions. I've thought about this a lot, because I myself am not completely sure, but I do have a few theories.

a.) when I was in the fourth grade I was playing my older younger sister's recorder (the instrument that sort of looks like a flute), and she caught me. She was really angry, grabbed it, and swung it at my face which knocked out part of one of my front teeth. From that moment on I became known as snaggle tooth (by my older older sister anyway). I didn't get it fixed until right before I started high school. That's a gap ( no pun intended) of 4 years when I was too embarrassed to smile because of my snaggle tooth.

b.) I'm very sarcastic, and I've watched sitcoms for as long as I can remember. I learned early on, if you want something to sound REALLY funny, you can't laugh or smile when you say it. Unfortunately this can also backfire, leaving you looking like a total bitch when people don't know you're joking . . . and when I say don't know, I mean, they're idiots with a terrible sense of humor.

c.) Smiling gives me a headache. It makes my face hurt, which makes my head hurt.

d.) One day I frowned for too long and it got stuck that way. . . hmmm . . . Maybe my parents weren't lying.

Q. Interesting stuff. Next tough question . . . Of what are you most afraid?

A. That's easy. Revolving doors. They're terrifying, especially if someone gets in behind you and goes too fast. I avoid them at all costs. I think the worst thing about them is that they look like so much fun. They are very deceiving. . . . Also, men in scary masks.

Q. Oooookay. Well, I suppose that's enough for tonight. We'll continue this next time.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll gladly spend an entire day with you helping you face your fear of revolving doors, because I love them. We should throw escalators in there too, they seem to be in the same category.

Also, who the hell is Peter Scolari?

Syar said...

Can you imagine a revolving door/escalator hybrid? I'm trying to, but it's making my brain hurt. Right now all I have is a revolving door with an escalator wrapped around it with the stairs part (the spiky part) facing inward. Gosh, i hope I haven't contributed to more fears.

I just googled Peter Scolari and there's a poster of him with a dog for a movie (?) called Turner and Hooch and a picture of him hugging Tom Hanks. I like this dude already!

cadiz12 said...

perhaps this mistrust of revolving doors is a genetic thing? your brother seemed to have some issues with them when he first came to visit chicago...

or maybe it's some sort of regional thing? not too many revolving doors in ventura, california, from what i gather.

Anonymous said...

Are you gonna tell about the time you actually met Peter Scolari?

That was totally cool.

Madelyn said...

Cofo - It's one thing to practice going through revolving doors with one person . . . you can learn to trust them, its another thing when strangers enter the mix.

As for escalators, I feel a lot more in control when I'm on them. They don't scare me . . . unless my shoe laces are untied . . . luckily I wear velcro.

Also, for my sake, please IMDB Peter Scolari.

Syar - a revolving door escalator hybrid? You're going to give me nightmares. Although I think a spiral staircase escalator would be pretty awesome, I don't know how you would fit doors into the mix though.

Also, I found your blog once but can't seem to find my way back. A little help?

Cadiz - There is no need for revolving doors in Ventura, or anywhere in Southern California for that matter. I don't think it's genetic, just lack of experience, which in turn has led to fear.

Anonymous - ah yes, the day I met Peter Scolari was indeed great, perhaps I will tell that story someday.

Jon said...

Ok, obviously any escalator/revolving door hybrid would involve several revolving doors to navigate while ascending or descending a mostly straight escalator. It would also be a nightmare for anyone with loose shoelaces.

Oh Pete. Hey, remember that time you made me drive you to Ojai? And remember how excited you were when you found out my friend Erin used to live across the street from him and baby sit his kids? Good times.

Amanda said...

I didn't swing the recorder at your face...... I merely took it out of your mouth. Geez!!!

I also hate revolving doors. Maybe it is genetic.

Syar said...

Ooh, spiral escalator! Fun.

It's at http://fiddlersgreen.wordpress.com. :D

Anonymous said...

I tried thinking of a revolving door/escalator hybrid, but my mind was blown. In a good way.