Question: What is your name?
Answer: Madelyn, but some people call me Scolari45
Q. Interesting, why Scolari45?
A. Anyone who really knows me knows the answer to this, but basically I had a huge crush on Peter Scolari when I was 14 years old.
Q. Who the hell is Peter Scolari?
A. It hurts my heart that you have to ask me that question. He is an actor. You may know him as "The other guy" from "Bosom Buddies". . . and before you ask . . . "Bosom Buddies" was a sitcom that was on in the early '80s. He starred in the show opposite an actor you may or may not have heard of . . . Tom Hanks. He was also in "Newhart", one of Bob Newharts many sitcoms . . . the funniest one if you ask me.
Q. Okay . . . still no idea who you're talking about, but moving on. Where were you born?
A. I was born in Ventura, California.
Q. What do you want to be when you grow up? A little kid again.
A. What's your maiden name? . . . trick question, technically I don't have one yet.
Q. Do you have any brother's or sister's?
A. Two sister's, one brother. Although when I was growing up ( I'm the youngest by the way) I thought that my oldest sister and my brother were just people that lived in our house. I'm not sure when I realized they were actually related to me, but it was probably later than I'd like to admit.
Q. Okay, the questions are going to get a little tougher now, are you ready?
A. Am I ready? Was that the first tough question?
Q. You're hilarious. . . Here we go . . . Why don't you ever smile?
A. I thought that may be one of the questions. I've thought about this a lot, because I myself am not completely sure, but I do have a few theories.
a.) when I was in the fourth grade I was playing my older younger sister's recorder (the instrument that sort of looks like a flute), and she caught me. She was really angry, grabbed it, and swung it at my face which knocked out part of one of my front teeth. From that moment on I became known as snaggle tooth (by my older older sister anyway). I didn't get it fixed until right before I started high school. That's a gap ( no pun intended) of 4 years when I was too embarrassed to smile because of my snaggle tooth.
b.) I'm very sarcastic, and I've watched sitcoms for as long as I can remember. I learned early on, if you want something to sound REALLY funny, you can't laugh or smile when you say it. Unfortunately this can also backfire, leaving you looking like a total bitch when people don't know you're joking . . . and when I say don't know, I mean, they're idiots with a terrible sense of humor.
c.) Smiling gives me a headache. It makes my face hurt, which makes my head hurt.
d.) One day I frowned for too long and it got stuck that way. . . hmmm . . . Maybe my parents weren't lying.
Q. Interesting stuff. Next tough question . . . Of what are you most afraid?
A. That's easy. Revolving doors. They're terrifying, especially if someone gets in behind you and goes too fast. I avoid them at all costs. I think the worst thing about them is that they look like so much fun. They are very deceiving. . . . Also, men in scary masks.
Q. Oooookay. Well, I suppose that's enough for tonight. We'll continue this next time.