Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Viewer Discretion is Advised

The images you are about to see may not be suitable for children, nor those who become queazy at the sight of blood. Consider yourself warned.

It seems as though the only people who understand my fear of Revolving Doors are related to me. Perhaps it can be attributed to growing up in Southern California, perhaps it's because it's genetic . . . or maybe . . . just maybe, it's because the rest of you don't understand the sheer danger that is possible every time you enter or exit a building using a revolving door.

Therefore, I have decided to illustrate the worst possible outcome. However, I need you to understand, that just because it is the worst possible outcome, does not mean it's rare or unheard of . . . in fact, millions of people each year die in a revolving door accident.










As you can see here, a creepy man has entered the revolving door while someone else (in this case, me) is still in the process of revolving it. Because there are no mirrors on her section of the door she is unaware of his presence and continues to revolve the door at a pace she is comfortable with.



However, the creepy man has his own pace in mind. Who knows why, perhaps he needs to go solve a mystery, or maybe he's just an ass. Whatever the reason, he proceeds to turn the door at a much faster pace then the unsuspecting girl is prepared for, and as a result the door crushes her leg and she dies.












Are you afraid of revolving doors now?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't really think that's the fault of the door. The message I took from this is to beware of mysterious mustachioed men in top hats.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...perhaps I should re-think my feelings about revolving doors. I guess I just don't want to live where they have them, but it's mostly about the weather, not the doors.

Madelyn said...

The "mustachioed man in the top hat" is a character I drew based on what I think you look like. He didn't have the mustache until after I saw your post from yesterday.

I know you have a closet full of top hats and fedoras.

Anonymous said...

Well, he DID strike me as quite a charming fellow. It comes as no surprise that it was me all along. Sorry about your foot though.

Will said...

i like to run through them screaming WHEEEEEE! A CAROUSEL!!!

Anonymous said...

They have revolving doors in the baggage claim area at LAX that turn automatically. No worries there...

Jon said...

First of all, I want to apologize. As one of your still-living relatives, I truly regret allowing them to put, "Killed by a revolving door" as your epitaph. What a horrible, horrible way to remember you.

But really, any time a guy is twisting his mustache, get out of the way. That's just basic safety.

cadiz12 said...

this could never happen because of the flaps they put on the bottoms of the doors. much worse was that revolving-door death shown in Dead Like Me. that was HORRIFIC. i do not suggest you watch that one.

you have a better chance of being hit by lightning than being crushed by a revolving door.